MovieChat Forums > Mega Piranha (2010) Discussion > Things I Learned from This Movie

Things I Learned from This Movie

posted 14 years ago by GreenInkBrigade
31 replies | jump to latest

Third world soldiers are so incompetent that one punch will knock them out.

The Venezuelan military consists of six guys, three helicopters, and a Ford Explorer.

The best way to combat giant meat-eating fish is to drop a bunch of guys in their midst to be eaten.

When your 80s mall pop rival makes a horrendously bad movie with Lorenzo Lamas, you should make an equally bad one with an actor whose movie credits include "Aliens on Crack."

When giant fish go on a rampage, they'll make suicide attacks by leaping into buildings and setting them on fire.

The US Navy still has battleships. And they can be eaten by giant mutant piranhas.

[–] 14 years ago

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[–] 14 years ago

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[–] wondermitts 14 years ago

When giant piranha are leaping out of the water and eating people, the best.........and safest way to report on the event is to move 10' closer to the shoreline.

When a nuclear warhead is ineffective............ use option B......... drop a bunch of guys in the water with a rifle they have never been trained on.

When boarding helicopters for suicide missions it's best to franticly run to the closest chopper, and never waste your time checking your gear.

When you are pissing out Gallons of fuel, you can run a helicopter on a 1 Liter bottle of O2.

[–] Ariston72 14 years ago

Fish can swim from Venezuela to Florida without encountering any landmasses in between.

Submarines shoot nuclear *torpedoes*.

When a bunch of piranhas are jumping out of the water towards you, the best defense is to simply lie on your back and kick them.

Vicious, carnivorous fish are the perfect animals to genetically enlarge as a source of edible meat.

Hungry piranhas will leap out of the water towards dry land in hopes that their mouths will land on something edible.

Everything is edible to piranhas.

--Ariston
I'm never wrong--sometimes reality just disagrees with me.

[–] MetalGeek 14 years ago

Tiffany just wants to kill them all.

The best defenses against Mega Piranha are a series of Kung-Fu kicks, or a good K-Bar commando knife.

The United Nations operates laboratories that mess with Piranha DNA till they're more bulked up than Mark McGwire.

Your Favorite Band Sucks.

[–] bill9340 14 years ago

When someone says "They are doubling in size every couple of days", you can get everyone one to look far more horrified by shouting "no, my calculations show they are doubling in size every 36 hours!!". (Is there really that much of a difference?)

[–] auntiejack 14 years ago

Apparently Venezuela and Washington DC are seven time zones apart.

[–] 14 years ago

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[–] mcnealc31 14 years ago

People can talk underwater just perfectly, even with SCUBA gear in their mouth

There are a lot of California plates in Venezuela

[–] Nan00k 13 years ago

Damn, I was gonna say that. Seeing Fitch talk with a snorkel mouthpiece in his mouth was both an insult to my intelligence and simultaneously hilarious.

[–] exchronos 13 years ago

1.) The Secretary of Defense (or whoever that guy was) would rather completely nuke an unevacuated Florida to the point the land melts rather than sacrifice 30 Navy Seals trying to dive and shoot the giant pirahnas.

2.) Venezuelan helicopters can come into US Waters and shoot at us, try kidnapping members of our military, and not start a war.

3.) What ever happened to the sub-plot about the Venezuelan military doing something in the jungle? Unresolved sub-plots are good for sequels.

4.) If you put a cell phone battery in your mouth the acids from your saliva (our saliva is acidic?) can recharge the battery. Who needs rechargeable batteries?

5.) If you're a TV reporter covering a cover-up hurricane and tell people that Florida is being invaded by giant fish, get the giant fish on film instead of people running before the giant fish eats you!

6.) Somehow the fish could've swam all the way through South America, into Central America, into Mexico and hit the Mississippi River? For one, what river goes all the way through those countries...and doesn't the Mississippi River come out into the Gulf Of Mexico? Their map of rivers is mind boggling.

7.) The Secretary of Defense will take a Navy Seal's word, without visual proof, that there are indeed giant pirahnas.

That's all I've got.

Sincerely,
Exchronos

[–] DerRalf 14 years ago

Ford has built some secret Transformers-technology into the old Explorer-model, that enables it to transform into a Suzuki Grand Vitara XL7 whenever there is some heavy stunt driving to be done.

[–] charms513 14 years ago

during that chase scene, the car switched back and forth between a toyota camry and a hyundai (elantra i believe). the bad guys were in a ford explorer, grand vitara, suburban, and tahoe.

fish can migrate thousands of miles in just two days.

a piranha with 2 extra layers of skin can survive a nuclear explosion

when a us ambassador is killed in a foreign country, the secretary of state calls up his favorite spec ops guy. these 2 guys handle the situation by themselves

electrocuting fish is a bad idea because it could cause them to evolve into more effective killing machines.

[–] jrskbmus 14 years ago

during that chase scene, the car switched back and forth between a toyota camry and a hyundai (elantra i believe). the bad guys were in a ford explorer, grand vitara, suburban, and tahoe.

LOL...they must have gotten ahold of some REAL hybrids. :D lol

[–] antagonisticjerk 13 years ago

Haha, I came on here to comment on the car switching. The Hyota Elamry actually tricked me once or twice, but the SUV was too hilarious. How do you go from an early 90s Exploder to a brand new Tahoe?

Oh, that shatters my entire universe

[–] biskvito 14 years ago

exponential growth = geometric growth

[–] wondermitts 14 years ago

HAHAHAHA!!!!! that was a good one biskvito!

[–] tanis_ivy 14 years ago

- this movie distorts time. it feels like you're watching a 3 hour movie, when its really been about and hour and 30 minutes.

[–] anjanette1692 14 years ago

AK-47's multiply with every scene, US Navy cruisers automatically transform into battleships that really look like amphibs, US Navy Seals are gentenically engineered to swim faster than dolphins.

[–] mstie99011 14 years ago

If you want slots for promotion to open up fast, send your Navy Seals into battle with little or no support from ships, planes or subs.

Black Hawk Helicopters have the ability to travel from Venezuela to Florida in a matter of minutes.

Bicycle kicks are a sure bet to stop flying piranhas

In the Venezuelan or US Military, you're not required to have any kind of rank or insignia on your uniforms. Blank uniforms are encouraged.

If you're really patriotic, you'll put your country's flag in your helicopter.

When severely mutated, piranha become suicidal and willingly jump into buildings or tall sharp structures with no intent of eating something.

our heads are highly flammable and explosive when a flare is fired into them.

[–] miked272001 14 years ago

It's important to shift a car with automatic transmission in order to get the best performance possible.

Get busy livin..... or die tryin - Morgan Freeman, "The Shawshank Redemption"

[–] marbleann 14 years ago

[quote]It's important to shift a car with automatic transmission in order to get the best performance possible./quote]

LOL Why in the heck do they do that in movies all of the time? I had a friend who did that because he saw it in movies. I said unless you are climbing up steep hills leave your transmission alone. Car companies must love the business they get from messed up transmissions. It would drive me nuts. Or get a stick shift if you want work and drive a car. .

[–] planetmutty 13 years ago

If you've been in The Brady Bunch TV series as a child actor, it's all down hill from there.

When I said I wanted to be a comedian, they all laughed at me. Well, they're not laughing now!