MovieChat Forums > The Hit List (2011) Discussion > 100 Things I Learned From The Hit List

100 Things I Learned From The Hit List

posted 13 years ago by LostSok0523
21 replies | jump to latest

This was, easily, the best move Cuba's done in a long while...which is to say it's about a 5/10. Still...I enjoyed it. But it SCREAMS for a "things I learned" list, so, here goes...

*** SPOILERS ARE A GIVEN ***

1. If you spill coffee on your shirt before a big promotion meeting...borrow a POWER TIE...or that promotion goes to the weasel that stole all your ideas!

2. When you call home over and over that means your wife is in bed with your best friend. Knock before entering! (It's just polite.)

3. If you get drunk in a bar after loosing that big promotion to the weasel in the power tie and finding your best friend coming out of YOUR bedroom...think twice before talking to that little dude at the end of the bar.

4. If you make a hit list on a napkin in a bar...the other dude WILL carry it out. It's just polite.

5. When making the hit list...double check that your wife really WAS sleeping with your best friend. There are some mistakes you can't undo.

6. Cuba Gooding looks really bored when he's making cheap direct-to-DVD movies. Seriously, Mike Tyson looked more engaged at his last fight. When he quit. DURING the fight.

[–] pfreeman99 13 years ago

7. Rogue CIA assassins walk like they're gay.

8. Depleted Uranium DOES kill.

9. If you crash a Washington State police cruiser into a large delivery van, you will get an insane amount of white smoke and a large explosion, but no fire.

10. It's not a joke. And if it was, it wouldn't be funny.

[–] TheGlove20 13 years ago

11. When a crazed maniac is shooting up a police station, the cops jump up only one at a time and get taken out like whack a mole.

12. When you leave your immobile wife in the corner as bait, wait as long as possible before jumping out and shooting bad guy.

13. When a crazed maniac kills half your station, when you sneak up behind him, yell "Freeze!" and let him shoot you first.

14. Seattle PD is really incompetent. (actually I lie. I've known that way before I saw this movie.)

[–] dpags01 13 years ago

^LOL

[–] The Movieman 13 years ago

15. Even jackass political commentators don't deserve to die.

16. When placing your wife on a hit list she'll be pretty understanding and will forgive you.

[–] nf1n1ty 13 years ago

17. Number three comes after 4

Seriously. And that's also my favorite quote from The Hit List.

[–] wedge-35 13 years ago

ahahaha, out of context, this is priceless!

Send more medics.

[–] 13 years ago

[deleted]

[–] ricardolivo 13 years ago

23. If you are a detective and discover killer is headed to police station disguised as a policeman, dont call them right away, let him get there unnoticed.

24. If you get to your house, your wife looks showery guilty and your best friend is buttoning his shirt, its not cheating! its a love test.

25. If people think you are a killer and you know who is next, go to his location as fast as possible and scare the crap out of him.

26. Dont ever shoot the man who is about to kill your best friend and wife.

[–] 13 years ago

[deleted]

[–] SkiBumTim 13 years ago

10. It's not a joke. And if it was, it wouldn't be funny.

That was probably the best line I took from this movie.

[–] stephenmastin-1 13 years ago

27. A trigger is a fast forward button

28. Special agents really are a bit special

29.if your a police officer you dont need to worry about reloading

30. Being involved in a rampage where loads die, is good way to strangthen a marriage.

[–] beastmanh 13 years ago

31. The Wilhelm scream is even used in straight to DVD movies.

32. Crazy CIA agents always smile after killing someone.

33. When a crazy CIA agent is on his way to the police station, it is always best to empty the building of 90% of the cops, and only leave the people he is after.

34. When CIA agents see blood on the floor, they become very lethargic.

35. Even if wives don't actually cheat, they try.

[–] Raging_Demon05 13 years ago

36. If two cops are sent to detain a White man (who is the next target) at his apartment, and the police for has already identified the killer as a Black man, when they reach this apartment, they will calmly ask the Black man who opened the door if he know where the target is.

37. After the hitman lays waste to the entire 1st floor of cops, once he reaches the second floor, instead of shooting him on spot, the next cop will simply shout, FREEZE!"

She's turning me into a criminal and all I want to be is a petty thug.

[–] 13 years ago

[deleted]

[–] JackDnCoke 13 years ago

39. If you want to be a successful loan shark, don't piss off stocky ginger's who drink at shady bars. (Not hating on red heads just thought it sounded funnier that way)

40. If you give someone a hitlist and people start dieing, make sure you lie about your whereabouts and always trust that your feuding wife will back you up.

41. If you know you have trained a killing machine and he snaps, make sure to keep your gun holstered when you approach him.

42. When a bomb explodes outside of your police station, run screaming past the only calm person in the room who showed no reaction.

[–] 13 years ago

[deleted]

[–] taxvictim 12 years ago

55. Cadillacs have no airbags. Just keep smashing into other cars head on, then keep driving.

56. Cole Hauser can go more than three days without shaving.

57. If you send street cops to protect a potential target from a hitman, the cops won't bother to look at all the news pics of the hitman before going.

58. William Kaufman really likes Michael Mann movies.

59. Whoever programmed the computer in the cop cars really likes internet memes. "All your base are belong to us."

60. Shrouser

61. Before a big meeting with the boss, engineers will stare goofily at pictures of their wives.

[–] kamas1 11 years ago

62. Depleted uranium leaves big warty scars on your body.
63. You are able to shoot over 20 people but unable to just shoot yourself.
64. If you want to die, don't choose an amateur to push his buttons to make him kill you and while we wait for this transformation many people have to die in the meantime.

[–] mbproject21 11 years ago

65. Cuba is a Shaft wannabee

[–] keeponrockinn 11 years ago

66. Professional killers are good listeners and they're your only friend but they have creepy voices.
67. Drop the gun before running out of a building and asking the cops for help.
68. Professional killers can take out trained cops in one shot, but its really hard to shoot paranoid ordinary couples.
69. you'll still care about someone's life and call them your friend even after you think they *beep* your wife.
70. If a professional hit man said that u'll kill, then you'll have the skills to kill the most wanted man even if you've never held a gun before.
71. the tough police always arrive late.

the woman should've died for being a stupid bitch. -_-

[–] zzzmallon 9 years ago

72.After being dumped by your woman always remember to buy shares in 'Jack Daniels' before entering the bar....