MovieChat Forums > Elena Undone (2010) Discussion > great love story..But

great love story..But

posted 13 years ago by lamont-hard
11 replies | jump to latest

Was i the only one who felt sorry for the husband. every one concentrated on the love affair but these type of films never have the courage to show the hurt of the husband/boyfriend. This guy was lied to for a long time and she never in my opinion even said she was sorry to him but said very hurtful things such as should have ended this phony marriage long time ago what a kick in the gut after fifteen years of marriage. Falling in love can happen, but I was not seeing her as a good person in the process.... She was more of the I should not be doing this and worrying about what people thought rather than thinking how much the affair would hurt some one. would have been much more satisfying if she showed some compassion to some one else other than her self and the lover.

[–] Emiabambinacara 13 years ago

I would have felt sorry for him if he wasn't spreading his hate message throughout the entire film. Its tough that she lied to him for all those years, but well, he brought it on himself. Imagine if she would have left when the boy was younger, he would have made sure she lost her parental rights.

Don't threaten me, Al! You're out of shape, I'll kick your arse. -Lisa Weird Science

[–] lamont-hard 13 years ago

I think we are saying two different things, I understand he was a jerk but the point I was making really has nothing to do with that. Her actions was bad as well with the lying and zero feelings for what took place by her actions, could you imagine how he must have felt. If you watch how she told him you would think he was a monster, maybe he felt he was doing nothing wrong, it really does not matter. I was looking at it through his eyes. If you look past the love story by the way it was well acted and very realistic. But if i say to you don't you ever want to see how it affects the other side and what they go through, just as to watch something different, For example how did it affect him And I don't necessarily mean something negative. He may have forgiven her and wished them well maybe he wanted to still be in her life as a good friend. Or to actually see the hurt and how he overcame it in life. Writers seem to never want to go down this road for what ever reason and I for one wish they would. You can still have a great love story by not always trying to show that sometimes there are good and bad things when an affair is committed.

[–] 13 years ago

[deleted]

[–] ljr-x25 12 years ago

Honestly no I don't feel that sorry for the husband. I don't condone cheating but I didn't really like the husband. I thought he was an arrogant and controling man who subtley controlled his wife, and spread bigotry.

It's hard to feel especially sorry for hateful people, who had a crappy marriage to begin with.

I'd die for you. I love you. I love you so much it's killing me.

[–] andersonarthur 12 years ago

I totally agree Lamont-harden. Infidelity hurts majorly and no one would wish it upon themselves. Many viewers get caught up in 'I don't like him' or 'he was a jerk', etc. but all that is irrelevant. Two wrongs don't make a right. Whatever your feelings are for him she was self absorbed and inconsiderate of her actions impact on others. If this was gender role reversal viewers would not have sympathy for HIM if he did the same actions to HER.

[–] lamont-hard 12 years ago

You hit the nail on the head, but the feminist and posters who see the affair and agree with it could never give what we both said the time of day. And they are entitled to voice there opinion. Whenever I see something like this I try and look at it from both sides, as i tried to do, but writers of this genre tend to make theses encounters from the woman's point of view and are to cowardly to write in what happens when the male gets hurt in the process.

Have you ever seen a film that shows the partner's hurt and how it left him? probably not, because they never want to show that side of the story. But with some people they purposely will be one sided on theses issues as if not admitting someone is wrong with the betrayal will hurt there cause. It is more important to promote the lovers story and have a happy ending to them than to see it ending happy with his understanding and maybe his approval of he is sorry for his actions and wishes them the best, or anything showing his reactions at all.

[–] scissorhands__emily 12 years ago

You may like the movie Imagine Me & You. It involves a woman cheating on her husband with another woman. However, it does not gloss over the husband or make him an unlikable character. In fact her husband is extremely likable. The husband knows something is up and wants desperately to fix it but doesn't know how. Also the lover feels guilty about interfering with a marriage and I don't think condones her behavior. We do get to see the husbands feelings on the matter as well. He is upset but ultimately knows he has to let her go and be happy.

[–] Ithilfaen 11 years ago

Many viewers get caught up in 'I don't like him' or 'he was a jerk', etc. but all that is irrelevant.

Of course it's irrelevant. The only important thing is the love. There was no love between them. I don't know if there had been any at any point, but there wasn't any love there anymore. What's marriage without love? A contract?
They were both lying. She was cheating and he was pretending their marriage meant anything to him when it really didn't. He had changed and he was in it only because she was a necessary accessory to his little life.
So that's what is relevant: their marriage existed only on paper.

If this was gender role reversal viewers would not have sympathy for HIM if he did the same actions to HER.

Absolutely not. But unlike you, I wouldn't be so quick to cast anyone in the part of the victim.

Whenever I see something like this I try and look at it from both sides, as i tried to do, but writers of this genre tend to make theses encounters from the woman's point of view and are to cowardly to write in what happens when the male gets hurt in the process.

You are guilty of what you're reproaching to others: you make a judgement based on gender when you should have examined *both* sides of the issue without projecting whatever personal feelings you have.
When did you see him suffering? he was only embarrassed. If he could have avoided the public humiliation, he wouldn't have cared one bit.
It had nothing to do with gender, btw. If the story was about a man falling in love with another man, and he was the one cheating on his wife, I would think the same I do now. You probably wouldn't though.

You hit the nail on the head, but the feminist and posters who see the affair and agree with it could never give what we both said the time of day.

And yet some of them took time to explain their point of view to you so maybe you shouldn't be too quick to judge them and throw around words like "feminists" (*gasp* what an insult!) as if you're right and they are automatically wrong because they disagree with you. And yes it's quite a typical male reaction to being contradicted.

For every lie I unlearn I learn something new - Ani Difranco

[–] fonteen 11 years ago

I felt bad for him as well, but they did show him get pissed. Remember when he was punching the stearing wheel inside the car, then pounding on the hood of it. He also punched a bush when first hearing the news if I remember correctly. There should be no doubt that they conveyed that he was devastated. If you want to see more of his reaction after or during the divorce then that's your opinion. But this movie is about falling in love. And I personally am fine with them not pursuing the husband's state of mind and emotions. It's just not necessary in my opinion because I'm convinced that he has a ton to sort through. Elena is not to be seen as a saint. I think they did a good job showing the struggle she dealt with, with lying to her family, and just going along with the path that was in a different direction than her heart. The resolution I wanted to have was to hear her admit fault. At the end, I believe she did. I don't remember the quote, but she told the husband in so many words, that she holds herself accountable, or at least partially so, for the failed marriage. Also, she does show compassion for others namely Nash, and I felt, pretty much everyone else. She even showed some towards the husband near end, consoling him while rubbing his back. I think the message to take away from this movie, is that no matter what situation you're in, you may find that one person who makes you feel bonkers like no other, and vice versa. Even if that situation is one where you are married with kids.

[–] lamont-hard 11 years ago

Did we see the same movie She was very cold to him in the manner he was told. I did not remember her showing any emotion of sorrow about him at all. It was about her and her lover. Never mind the years and hurt he experienced. I respect your opinion I was giving what i thought was going on with her.

[–] fonteen 11 years ago

I felt she was both showing sympathy for him and also being stern about her choice to be with the other woman. There may have been more of her stern side showing because of his beliefs about gay people, in that they are purposely deviant from the norm. Being sympathic and cold are pretty much opposites, but I did detect her getting across both, likely in a switch from one to the other. At least that's the sense I got from it. Maybe I gave her too much credit? I'm not sure if its worth another look honestly, but I did enjoy some aspects of the movie.