I find it so rude when brides have a cash bar.
Your guests should not have to pay for thier own drinks, especially considering how expensive drinks are plus the wedding gift.
I think cocktail hour should be open bar, but most couples can't afford to blow thousands of dollars so their relatives can get 'faced.
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There can be extenuating circumstances.
My husband and I both have alcoholics in our families. It was less about the money than about the fact that we didn't want to feel responsible for supporting those illnesses, even for one night.
We also live in a town where the only nice venue available that would hold the number of guests we wanted did not actually allow an open bar. They had been burned in the past by people who refused to believe that their guests had drank so much and would not pay. They also felt that with a cash bar people drink less, and there were fewer chances of incidents like fighting or drunk driving which could cause the venue trouble for a number of reasons.
We purchased one bottle of red wine and one bottle of white for each table, and we paid for a very nice 3 course meal, a fantastic cake and a late-night snack. We felt that was enough. A wedding should not be about getting tanked on somebody else's dime. It should be about celebrating the happy couple and spending time with friends and family.
If somebody absolutely feels that can't have a good time without copious amounts of alcohol, they should bring their wallet or stay home. A truly gracious bride and groom will be glad a guest has come even if the gift that guest brings doesn't "cover the cost of their food and booze". That's a ridiculous notion... some people simply can't afford what others can. Conversely, a guest can't expect the bride and groom to provide a thousand dollars worth of drinks and food, even if they suspect they will be receiving a thousand dollar cheque as a gift. That just isn't realistic.
There's also the fact that different places have different customs. I've been to tons of weddings in my life, and only once have I ever seen an open bar... and even that was only free for an hour after dinner. It just isn't the norm where I'm from.
Many people who belong to more fundamentalist religions don't believe in drinking and don't serve alcohol at all. Other people have open bars but only beer & wine are available (we did that at our daughter's engagement party, but not at the wedding, where we had an open bar).
Boo Hoo! Let me wipe away the tears with my PLASTIC hand!--Lindsey McDonald (Angel)
Many people who belong to more fundamentalist religions don't believe in drinking and don't serve alcohol at all.This leads to why I get so angry when the guest brides go to a dry wedding and complain about the lack of alcohol. Next thing you know, they'll complain about the lack of pork at a Jewish or Muslim wedding. It's a shame they don't understand the concept of respecting the host's beliefs/traditions.
I AGREE. We had three kegs of beer at our reception at no charge and we also bought $100 or so of drink tickets for guests we knew did not like beer. Other than that, we allowed NO shots of liquor. We too have friends and family that often over-imbibe and also who think it's funny to buy other people shots until they fall down. That, plus the facility told us that even if they opened up a new, full bottle of Tanqueray gin to pour ONE gin and tonic they would charge us for the entire bottle. No, thanks.
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What's really tacky is a bunch of obnoxious drunks at a wedding, having a cash bar keeps the amount of drunks to a minimum.
Siri
Don't Make Me Have to Release the Flying Monkeys!
God, that's cynical AND puritanical all at once. It's not your job to police how much people drink, and if you're forcing everyone to spend their own money JUST because you're worried one or two might go too far, I think you should probably re-evaluate. Your stance, your relationship to alcohol, possibly the people you're inviting to the wedding...
shareMy church does not allow alcohol whatsoever even at the Family Life Center across the street (church building). People who want to drink will have to wait until they go somewhere else. Besides having people drink then having to drive home can cause auto accidents then the person who has served the alcohol could get sued for allowing their guest to drive home drunk. (I work in a courthouse and see this constantly, esp with bars being sued and that's their job).
shareHow about what the rest of the wedding costs? A cocktail hour open bar is completely acceptable. Some couples can't afford drinks for 100/150/200, and shouldn't have to wait til they can to have a wedding that makes you happy. If you find it so rude, I'm sure the bride and groom wouldn't miss your presence should you decide to stay home. :-)
shareConsidering there are several people in my family who will get smashed at the chance to, if I ever re-do my wedding (so far just a short sweet justice of the peace with a cake at our place after) I'd do a cash bar. At least it's one way to ensure no one drinks too much since they aren't likely to want to buy five to ten drinks or whatnot.
"It's better to be hated for who you are than be loved for who you aren't."
My husband and I don't drink, but we knew that many of our guests do. At our wedding, we had sparkling cider for the toast, and then beer and wine at the bar. I think it was three domestic/imported, and two whites and two reds. No cocktails - it was very expensive. This was guests could still enjoy themselves and we wouldn't break the bank.
shareI wonder if an option might be to serve only cocktails with ingredients other than liquor--bloody marys, tequila sunrises, rum & cokes, etc. Then the bartenders could control the amount of liquor in each drink and make them a little on the light side. Sangria also, perhaps.
Boo Hoo! Let me wipe away the tears with my PLASTIC hand!--Lindsey McDonald (Angel)
If there is a cash bar most will just pre game and get tanked before the wedding or the reception. Eh who knows. I think cash bars are tacky. People have already spent money on you and some have made safe and sound arrangements to get drunk. Weddings can be awkward and weird depending on the mix of crowd... A couple cocktails can help. But to each his own. I would go to a wedding with a cash bar...just wouldn't stay long.
shareDecSag32, from that kind of attitude, I'm pretty sure EVERYONE would be okay with you leaving early.
shareMy husband and I don't drink, but we knew that many of our guests do. At our wedding, we had sparkling cider for the toast, and then beer and wine at the bar. I think it was three domestic/imported, and two whites and two reds. No cocktails - it was very expensive. This was guests could still enjoy themselves and we wouldn't break the bank.
My friend got married earlier this year and she had a cash bar but it was only open for part of the night, lol. She basically was attempting to save money by hoping that a lot folk would leave early and leave the remaining crowd to party, lol
shareI find it so rude when brides have a cash bar.
Your guests should not have to pay for thier own drinks, especially considering how expensive drinks are plus the wedding gift.