MovieChat Forums > Country Strong (2011) Discussion > What was the husband's problem?

What was the husband's problem?


Why did he always pull away from Kelly every time she tried to get close to him? Was there something that I missed with that?

In the beginning, when he and Kelly are having dinner, every time she brought up their relationship, he turned it to her career. OK I get it, he's obsessed with making her more and more successful.

But...toward the beginning, right before the first show in her dressing room, Kelly was drunk/high/upset and didn't want to go on stage, and he was pushing her to do it. She ended up slapping him and then started crying an apology to him, melted into his arms, he appeared to have the start of a caring attitude, and then...pulled back and became distant when she tried to kiss him.

Then later, in the "Travis" scene, the boys start playing, everyone starts slow dancing, and he and Kelly are too. Then, out of the blue, he pulls away, walks out of the room, and goes in the hallway and just....stares into space, with a look like he wants to cry but he doesn't. WTF is that? His emotionally fragile wife reaches out to him, they have a perfect moment where they can connect and salvage her sanity...and he just walks away like and stares into space?

Did I miss something? Does he hate her? Or does he just think that she is only an object that he uses to further his own ends, or whatever?

I don't get his motivation in this film at all.

reply

You would have to live or be married to someone with an active addiction to understand his perspective.

reply

i think i heard one of the reporters say, before she went to rehab she was 5 months pregnant and fell off the stage drunk, i assume she lost the baby, i have a feeling he is still grieving and blames her

reply

Yes, she basically killed their kid through her addiction. That was why the "fan" sent her the bloody baby doll box, because she was a child murderer.

I am a leaf on the wind - watch how I soar.

reply

This isn't meant to sound snarky. I'm just wondering if you missed the first part of the movie.

The story establishes that Kelly was 5 months pregnant when she fell 10 feet off a stage during a performance and it turned out she was heavily intoxicated at the time. She lost the baby and though her husband James forgave her he was still having a hard time both getting over that heartache and letting her back into his heart completely. Add to that the fact that she was still drinking throughout the movie and obviously having an affair with another man right in front of him and it's not so hard to understand his conflicted feelings for her. In fact, one might ask why he stuck by her for so long.

He was not without blame himself though. He genuinely believed that they had to take the tour opportunity to save her career, which is why he pulled her out of rehab early. But he just couldn't let himself see how truly messed up she was. It was never in her best interest to leave rehab and she was not up to the challenges or responsibilities of that tour. I think, based on the things he said, that he really did believe she needed her career to feel complete and maybe that was true at one time. But her actions to me were a clear cry for help and an indication that that life was not what she wanted or needed anymore, as much as she loved those few glorious moments on stage doing what she did so well. Did he hate her? No I think he loved her more than he wanted to. I think he resented her too for what she had become and for taking the person he loved away from him (the person she used to be). I don't think he was just furthering his own ends, though I wondered at first where his interests genuinely lay as well.

By the time of the 'Travis' scene, what I couldn't help thinking as I watched him approach her, dance with her and then walk out into the hallway with that sad look on his face was "What must it feel like to see glimpses of the person she used to be?" To see moments where she was that person he loved again, but fleeting ones. And to know they're fleeting and could be replaced at any moment by the other, broken version that keeps chasing that original person away. And I found myself saying out loud to him "You can't wish someone sober. You can't wish her better." And anyone who has loved someone with addictions (parent, child, lover, friend) knows that this is true. No matter how hard you try, you can't fix someone who chooses their addiction over you. Over their own self even. They have to be able to do it for themselves.


I think his motivation was love. Mixed with a bit of desperation and misguided hope.



What I really liked about this movie is that at the beginning I had a hard time caring about any of the characters. They all had flaws or issues that I was only too eager to judge them for. And they all seemed selfish in one way or another. But throughout the course of the movie, as the story unfolded and each character's depth and motivations were revealed, I realized I cared about all of them and sympathized with their plights. Because they were all good people just doing the best they could with what they had. We don't know how Kelly went from fresh faced talent with a loving husband and all the odds in her favor to the person she'd become by the time we 'met' her. And we don't need to in order to care about her. Somewhere along the line she lost her way and that's reason enough to care. Somewhere along the line James lost a bit of his own self esteem and pride by catering to her moods and her career. Even as he lost her to her addiction. Beau genuinely cared for her and realized finally that their relationship wasn't healthy for her all along or what she really needed. And he really did have her best interest at heart. He genuinely cared about Chiles too and I was glad to see didn't treat her badly while he figured out his feelings for Kelly. Likewise Chiles really was essentially what she seemed - a nice kid with just enough talent and ambition to be a contender without the blood lust to step over other people to get there. And that's always a refreshing change of pace to see. I'm glad I stuck with it and stayed to see how it all resolved and can't help feeling sad for all of them, especially Kelly and James, even though I realize they're just fictional characters. This is a movie that crept into my heart while I wasn't even looking.

reply

This movie would have been so much more successful had they even had one flashback to a happier time in her career before the addiction took hold. Before she got pg.

But it starts out in the middle of a life.

I thought it was awful and made country stars look like dunces.
And yes, the husband was also strange.

it is as if some scenes that would have shown more of their life were left on the cutting room floor.

Tim McGraw and GP have been excellent in some movies. This was an embarrassment.

SPOILER:

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX






So she is an alcoholic and had a miscarriage. I have had 4 miscarriages and I didn't go off and kill myself. That was definitely goofy. No one could see that one coming.

reply

First of all picking Tim McGraw to play the husbands part was a big mistake. He just isnt a actor...not even a good one that pulls you in and then believe his parts that he is playing. Its not like he has had much experience anyway. The only really biggie was The Blindside and Sandra pulled that one off not him. He isnt even a great singer and his wife is who gave him fame. Im just tired of someone pushing him because he stinks to the part that he couldnt even make me feel anything for his part in this movie.

reply

To artistatrest: SPOILERS:



XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


She didn't kill herself because she had a miscarriage.
Even though she may have been able to start to forgive herself, and maybe her husband might be able to forgive her, she felt judged and her "fans" never let her forget that it wasn't JUST a miscarriage.

Her baby died because she was drunk. It was her fault. She couldn't take it back, and she couldn't change her appearance in other people's eyes.

Her addiction, and the pain of knowing the loss of the baby was her fault, and the public judgement of it all is what ultimately killed her. James (McGraw) missed who she used to be, and so did she. There was no way she was going to get that person back, and it destroyed her.

reply

I really came to like Tim McGraw in this movie after seeing it again. Yes, it's the story of the country star who's a good person, struggling with her job and her marriage and her addiction. It's also the story of a country star's husband struggling with his job and his marriage and his feelings about his wife's addiction. He portrayed this so, so well. I can't even think of what he brings to this role with his own personal background, being a country music star AND the husband of a country music star. (Does everyone realize that? I don't know...)

My favorite scene of the entire movie is the scene with the Make-a-wish foundation's fulfillment of that child's dream. The wife connecting with a child, so easily and with such heartfelt love, and the husband re-connecting with his wife, not so easily, but with heartfelt love that conflicts with all the resentments he feels about her demands on the relationship. I just loved that scene, especially about his urge to just walk away. Like it's too much to deal with and it's engulfing him, all those emotions.

Loved the movie.

reply

That Make-A-Wish scene told the story and it was truly a tear-jerker for me. I thought Tim McGraw brought a real depth to that scene. But overall, I felt he portrayed an emotionally wounded spouse--his body language throughout was superb--who melted when he saw that spark of a selfless, sober Kelly giving soulfully and completely to the young boy with cancer. That *beep* in her self-absorbed addictive personality was irrisitable to him--but he knew it was fleeting and the damage to their relationship, his disappointment and grief was too keenly felt to sustain the moment.

Like Beau told Kelly something the night of the final concert that struck a chord with her, "Fame and love can't live in the same place." Earlier Kelly had urged Chiles, "Above all" . . . "fall in love with as many things as possible." I think those thoughts are clues to the depth of Kelly's own deep and abiding personal disappointments . . . lots of issues that obviously (to me) preceeded the more recent tragedies in her life . . .

reply

I loved how you put everything and where I have problems with the husband ( I know its just a movie) instead of trying to jump start her career that its so obvious its what put her in destructive mode , he could have said ...screw it I just want my wife and marriage and moved on to something else. I feel he was so selfish that he couldnt do that for her. Some people just cant take that kind of a life and make it work. When he was there getting her out of rehab she knew it was to soon but he just insisted. And then she couldnt seem to be monogamous and maybe thats because she needed to feel excepted by someone that wasnt all the time trying to sell her to the public. Her husband was her music career pimp and no matter what he was going to sell her goods.There problems I am sure started long before she lost that baby and is what pushed her to that point.

reply

Excellent analysis. All your points are valid. I just want to chime in with one other thought -- you mentioned her flagrant affair, right under his nose. Sure, that alone would be reason enough for his resentment. However, I sort of got the feeling several times in the movie that he had a history of affairs as well. Nothing obvious, and it's certainly up for debate, but for example Kelly's initial attitude towards Chiles struck me as based on experience. Also he tells her he never loved anyone like he loved her. Well, duh. It seems like they got together rather young, so I kind of got the sense that there had been others SINCE then, rather than before then. Again, nothing certain, and I'm not even 100% convinced myself, but it just seemed very likely. Not that his infidelity would excuse hers, but it would certainly make it less cruel, less justification for his resentment.

reply

[deleted]