Hello Domers. It's that time of year again to laugh hysterically at this train wreck. Here is a way to vent your frustration with everything about this show.
I love trolls, they taste like chicken.
1. Marg Helgenberger actually thought this was a good idea.
2. Melanie went from sexy zombie egg protector to psycho alien cocoon director in a span of winter hiatius.
3. Nobody continues to give a crap that Sam murdered someone (well, except Joe). He was a good guy before so he gets brownie points.
4. Ben is officially off his "meds".
5. Big Jim really hates pictures and TVs.
6. Big Jim is also stock-piling scrap metals, and using one strand of barbed wired to protect it even though there is no one left to steal it.
7. A memorial of the biggest event in history will only attract about 20 people.
8. Having your 25 year dead daughter living under a dome is terrible, but your alive-and-well son being there is irrelevant.
9. Seeing your 25 year dead daughter alive and unaged is no big deal.
10. Under the Dome has become The Tommyknockers. Next season it will become The Dead Zone.
I love trolls, they taste like chicken.
11. Always point out the massed butterflies on the ceiling while the person is in a precarious position over a bottomless hole. Don’t wait until they’re safely on the other side.
12. Bullet wounds are nothing, don’t hurt or anything. You can still run jump, etc.
13. Always place bandage OVER skinny jeans – way more fashionable.
14. People emerging from pods will inevitably be covered in goo.
15. If you throw a rock butterflies will follow the sound.
Criticism might not be agreeable, but it is necessary
16. When angry at your adult son, shoot him in the shoulder and move on.
17. Yemen looks just like Burbank, except for the scrolly-looking writing on walls.
18. Nothing you've seen in the previous two seasons bears any relation to this season.
19. julia puts hand on cocoon spikes appear to protect it, big jim ok leading on cocoon holding shotgun
20. its ok to keep unique and priceless 'egg' in meeting room stored in glass cabinet near window
21. Chest compressions are used to help a choking person.
share200. Other woman can push for the mother giving birth.
share202. Killing a human is just as bad as killing a spider.
203. Listening to awesome 80's jams will help you think.
204. Christine is just flat out telling everyone she's an alien, and no one cares.
205. Barbie still thinks the kid is his??????
206. Finding one strand of reddish color hair automatically means it's Christine's.
207. Aktion's "cure" will make you stronger, faster and a more psychotic killer. (Big Jim is so proud!)
208. Breast-feeding your alien queen offspring will make your veins glow purple.
209. Christine doesn't want to use violence on Joe, but she has no problem killing Eva (YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!)
I love trolls, they taste like chicken.
Steven Spielberg is one of the executive producers on the show...
- - - - -
God is like pokemon - made up.
http://www.youtube.com/TehMorbidAtheist
[deleted]
Steven Spielberg also made a video giving Terminator:Genesis a raving revue!
share[deleted]
9. Seeing your 25 year dead daughter alive and unaged is no big deal.
22. Pink will rule the universe.
Cosmos hates Google.
23. Never seen dog will all of a sudden show up and bark only at Big Jim.
24. Big Jim is so mad at Jr he'll shot at his pictures & videos but gets pissed when he sees him in the cocoon and acts happy when he comes out.
25. Norrie likes being in a Sorority
26. Fox news is big on unnatural disasters. (had to single them out)
27. Egg that can power a dome over an entire town can be smashed with the butt
of a rifle.
28. That those extra long commercial breaks aren't so bad after all.
29. film something in portrait mode on your phone, it is magically widescreen mode including the parts not filmed on a computer.
30. gunshots are still not a problem under the dome.
28. That those extra long commercial breaks aren't so bad after all.
They'll expand it to a 90 minute show whose true running time sans commercials will be 54.892 minutes.
Life can be arbitrary and comes without a warranty.
[deleted]
31. Big Jim shoots at the tv and says "Nothing good on television these days anyway!". Who knew that self-referential humour could be the only redeemable thing about a 2 hour season premiere.
share32. Little Fat Jim has a pistol with 300 bullets in the clip (he's never once replaced it).
33. When someone is bleeding out of the mouth after being shot (Pauline), don't wipe it off.
Just leave the blood all over her face for a few hours for dramatic effect.
34. one cute woman of color will always be replaced by another cute woman of color
share34. Re Point 25.-Other people will be happy to be in Norrie.
"What is an Oprah?"-Teal'c
35a. A good spot to bury dead bodies is on the shore by the lake where people from outside can enter the Dome.
35b. Also, bodies buried in this spot will never be a problem if the water level of the lake happens to rise.
36. After 3 weeks of Dome life, burning houses no longer attract attention.
37. Bringing back a slain piglet from a food quest will certainly help feed the entire town.
People believe what they want to believe. One term for this is Faith. Another is Delusion.
38. Cocoon goo does wonders for blood stains, bullet wounds and eye sight.
39. Once again, put all your trust in someone you barely know (Christine).
40. Throw the dead hoarder outside and cover her with a blanket before you rummage through her house, all while jamming to awesome music.
41. Joe seems to be the only one who actually cares about a human life.
42. Sam: "People see me as a murderer." Who exactly?
42b. Trust the guy you see as a murderer enough to spill your inner most thoughts.
43. It is common to see piglets roaming the woods.
44. Julia is upset that the guy who killed her husband may have actually moved on.
45. Barbie didn't have to kill a member of Eva's family to impress her.
46. Still waiting for Jimi Smitts and Tracy Lords to show up in Under The Tommyknocker Dome.
I love trolls, they taste like chicken.
47. Every time someone uses a ladder it breaks.
share48. The Ramones crush horny teen age sex drives. Who knew?
49. When two people and one flashlight enter a pitch black underground cave, the one with the flashlight can walk away without worrying the other will be in complete darkness in "about thirty paces."
50. Killing "Melanie" twice in one series is not nearly enough.
Pretty boring episode. Not too many.
51. Julia is surprised the man who killed her husband may actually be violent.
52. Living in a virtual reality does not get you pregnant.
53. So many people are getting it on at the same time.
54. Junior's mere hours of cocoon mind control means he's a better carpenter then the guy who has actual experience.
55. Rubbing cocoon goo all over your mouth is a total turn on. (gross)
56. I dislike Christine so much, that I actually miss Big Jim's murderous ways!
57. Mad scientists (awe Rebecca) and the military will sneak into the dome undetected and demand the egg baby back.
I love trolls, they taste like chicken.
(you beat me to the "Aphrodisiac Goo" comment!)
58. People are only mildly suspicious that a woman might "go hunting" in the woods armed only with a knife.
59. Even if your personality has changed from being in an alternate reality, you don't think it's odd to gather in the center of town and stare at the moon.
60. When a piglet the size of a Poodle is roasted on a spit, it will grow into a pig the size of a St. Bernard.
61. Barbie, Julia, and Eva would save money on their motel bill if they'd all move in together and swing a little.
and it was a boring episode...the only part I really liked was when Forrie reverted to being her normal self and went on a bitch-rant. Ah Forrie...so glad you're back!
People believe what they want to believe. One term for this is Faith. Another is Delusion.
61. Barbie, Julia, and Eva would save money on their motel bill if they'd all move in together and swing a little.
(you beat me to the "Aphrodisiac Goo" comment!)
[deleted]
132. It's very easy to drink from a bottle with the cap still on.
Yeah, I'm surprised no one else picked up on that. Unless there was a hole in the top, the cap was on the bottle.
I love trolls, they taste like chicken.
62. Last week Junior sets his own family home on fire, no one cares. This week we have a tent fire and everyone goes crazy.
63. The military can come in and out as they please with equipment but still refuses to help the dome occupants.
Hate to correct you--it sounds like I'm actually defending this show, which is the last thing I want to be accused of--but that wasn't really the "military" who kidnapped Big Jim, it was the evil corporation that wants to possess the egg, the one Barbie's father worked for (Althon, or Althion, or Albatross...whatever the hell they're called).
People believe what they want to believe. One term for this is Faith. Another is Delusion.
oh *beep*! well I clearly was barely paying attention to all that mumbo jumbo last night. Thanks
Albatross!!! I rarely chuckle out loud. Thanks!
share64. Throwing a fresh sweaty shirt in someone's face is considered sexy flirting.
(Was this used? My memory sucks and I don't want to read all the posts over again...I'm lazy!)
....
These are by dmart-82832.
65. Introduce a dog, make it a major plot point, then just forget about it.
66. Changing your shirt in the middle of a jog is totally logical and not at all strange
67. Burning a house down last week doesn't even register but a tent on fire causes everyone in town to lose their sh-t
68. It's possible to get "trapped" inside a tent fire
69. When someone runs away from you, just say "let him go" . Then two scenes later assign someone to chase him down.
70. If your chasing someone, don't notice a red haired idiot pointing a gun your way. Just get 3 feet away. Don't take any defensive stance, and let her shoot you.......in your bullet proof vest......go down like a sack of potatoes
71. If you're the director, having an extra "whistle" through a scene, is not at all distracting.
72. One single 2x4 is all that is required to hold up an entire floor of a municipal office building.
73. The only way to see what's in a silo, is to climb to the top of it
74. If you're hanging off a silo (about 3 feet off the ground) wait until someone climbs to the top, does absolutely nothing to help you, then just pull yourself up without any assistance
75. Not needing your glasses anymore makes you SUPER horny
76. If you're craving some chocolate, take a teeny tiny nibble off one corner......yuummmmm
77. A baby pig will grow into a much larger pig after its killed & feed an entire town.
...... Go ahead. I shouldn't have all the fun.
78. When you can't find the remote just use a gun to shut off the TV.
share#77 already have as #60.
79. After getting mad with Julia the night before for saying "why won't you talk to me?" and punching a wall, Barbie will tell Eva that he "can't be with someone who's not gonna talk with me."
80. When you have a secret scheme to control the town, be sure and verbally dictate it into a voice recorder so there's a chance someone might overhear you.
81. Ceilings will always collapse just before a dramatic confrontation between characters.
82. Never start a phrase with "I can't live anymore..." when talking to Christine Price.
83. An explosion inside a group of metal trash cans will knock you off your feet but won't hit you with a single piece of shrapnel.
84. If you want to make your male lead character an edgy anti-hero like Rick Grimes on The Walking Dead, hire evil cannibal Gareth from that show and have him play an evil carpenter that your male lead can bash his brains in with a baseball bat.
sara! I beat you to the punch today...you sleeping in?
Can you dig it? I knew that you could!
sara! I beat you to the punch today...you sleeping in?
93. UTD production needs to buy more purple light bulbs.
94. Big Jim's neck sweats faster than the rest of him.
95. You can make chili from cow food.
96. Sam will bang anything with a neck beard.
97. Alien's don't use the internet. They talk into tape recorders for posterity.
98. "You don't need to make a scene" when in the midst of the weirdest thing in the history of the world.
99. Searching for solar panels is code for trying to get laid. (I'm trying it later tonight).
100. Even aliens have labor relations problems.
101. Barbie found a crazy Ken doll.
102. That goofy all-night janitor from the Target store movie got weird looking in his old age.
103. Alaskan scientists don't understand electricity.
104. (controversial alert): Can't be sure, but Sam's perpetually hammered squeeze Abby must have some African-American lineage based on her quick demise from the script.
105. Hunter don't bounce.
106 - Rubbing viscous goo from cave walls on someone's lips is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
107 - If threatening to slit a dog's throat in front of its owner doesn't convince him to talk, then surely threatening to take it into another room to kill it will.
108 - Water only has to drip through a ceiling for a few minutes to leave a significant brown water stain.
109 - The hotels in Chester's Mill really appreciate your not smoking.
110 - When it comes to working a food line, Norrie don't play that.
111 - If you kill a person of color or threaten to kill a dog, there will be three threads about it on the Posting Board.
111 wouldn't be needed if they would stop killing anyone off that even looked like a person of color or if there were more interesting characters. Pretty sad when a dog is in the top 5, or the top 3.
shareThis episode was not so bad. I thought it was interesting.
112. Whistle while you work is just as effective as whistle while you stand around and do nothing.
113. Jesse Gordon sure does have a lot of drugs.
114. When Julia says Christine & Eva are working for Aktion, punch the wall. When Christine & Eva both admit it's true, follow their every command.
115. Barbie doesn't see the irony of telling Julia she did something horrible to an "innocent" person.
116. Eva pretty much gave Julia an invite to a threesome.
117. Big Jim got to kill someone (yeah!).
118. Sam got to stab someone (yeah!).
119. Chester's Mill sure does have a lot of solar panels just waiting to be installed.
I love trolls, they taste like chicken.
120. Small town journalists can take a wicked cheap shot Donkey Punch. [Funniest moment of the season, maybe all time].
share121. Christine can utter the line "Junior will come for me" with a straight face.
122. There can never be enough Prius product placement shots.
123. Hunter has been paralyzed and his legs are without feeling, but he still needs meds to "manage his pain."
124. After killing all the evil Aktion people on Bird Island, just leave with Christine and don't bother gathering any supplies for the town that is starving and running out of resources.
125. Julia joining Big Jim in a search for his dog is an exciting way to end an episode.
126. Marg Helgenberdenhelger still has a nice rack.
Can you dig it? I knew that you could!
"Junior will come for me"
124. After killing all the evil Aktion people on Bird Island, just leave with Christine and don't bother gathering any supplies for the town that is starving and running out of resources.
126. Marg Helgenberdenhelger still has a nice rack.
127. Stephen King is getting very subtle with his references. http://img2.tvtome.com/i/u/8753dbe6c52b4242c20d588592cecdd1.jpg
I love trolls, they taste like chicken.
Episode 3.7: "Ejacta" -- Not a lot of action. A bunch of separate storylines for characters who stand around watching the purple meteorites hit the earth outside the Dome...and then stand around talking about what it means. Barbie resists Eva's nubile charms again. Big Jim and Julia bond while drinking some obscure brand of bourbon. Joe and Forrie stress out over Hunter's bipolar mood swings. Junior pod-leads Sam into the purple cave and puts him in a chokehold.
128. When meteorites start falling to earth, yell "It looks like a meteorite!" as you run away.
129. An Extinction Event is a great aphrodisiac for some chicks.
130. When you're hiding out from the psycho pod people in town in the local Coffee Shop, don't bother locking the front door.
131. Townspeople will miss Christine so much when she's not around they'll start jumping out of a fourth floor window.
Can you dig it? I knew that you could!
Huh, you beat me again! It's scary to think this show is starting to get good (did I say that?). It makes this hard to do.
132. It's very easy to drink from a bottle with the cap still on.
133. Getting "locked" in a fire tower (WTF is that???) makes you super horny.
134. Julia's evil because she helped to capture an alien psychopath, but Barbie is special because he murdered two people (that we know of).
135. Bad-ass Forrie is so much better than emo-Forrie.
136. It is super easy to run up to a dome when the military is guarding it like Area 51.
136b. It's also very easy to run up to a dome that use to have a huge creader-moat from when it was shrinking.
137. Emotions is the best way to save the town, unless you're Barbie.
138. The writers are once again trying to convince us of Julia's loveless marriage so we'll just forget that Barbie killed her husband.
I love trolls, they taste like chicken.
haha, yeah well I do start work at 7am, so...
Here's a couple more:
139. Starting a rebellion against the Pod People/Townsfolk is a lot easier when you have a crate of M4 machine guns.
140. Just where the hell does that dog keep disappearing to?
Can you dig it? I knew that you could!
I can't believe I'm saying this, but this was a good episode. My mind is officially mush.
141. Seeing people abliterated by a fire wall makes you super horny.
141b. Eva doesn't wear a bra.
142. What Barbie and Julia have is real. It's not based on lies...because he admitted he had something to do with her husband's death after she already found out.
143. Julia is ok with people dying, as long as it's not Barbie.
144. Big Jim has about 500 bombs just lying around in wait.
145. So far, Big Jim and Julia have done more damage than good. Maybe it's just better to be a pod person.
146. The dome would make an awesome big picture movie screen.
147. Joe and Norrie ARE HAVING SEX!!!!!
I love trolls, they taste like chicken.
More damage than good because 1 person died? Seems like a reasonable cost for the benefit of cutting off their "amethyst" supply.
shareMore damage than good because 1 person died? Seems like a reasonable cost for the benefit of cutting off their "amethyst" supply.
148. When Big Jim lists the members of his "Army" (2 Horny Teens, a Cripple, and a Plucky Newspaperwoman), he conveniently leaves out the Bald Angry Fat Guy.
149. Like all women, alien women like to stop in front of mirrors and check their "look"...even if they really are just a sparkly static-like figure.
150. If you don't keep your amethyst stones charged, the Dome will calcify and suffocate you. Yes, it really will. Good thing they're buried underground then.
151. Even after finally "sleeping" with Eva, Barbie is still not completely transformed. Maybe that 3-way with Julia is still a possibility.
152. When you act bad and revolt against the Kinship, you don't get lunch.
153. Forrie's Black Mom actually had more than 3 lines of dialogue in the episode...which meant it was time for her character to die.
154a. The Aktion EvilCorp is OK with delivering a box of high explosives into the Dome just because Big Jim asked their twinkie Netgirl to do so.
154b. Also, Aktion EvilCorp will just send a delivery guy to drop off the bombs, and not any agents or troops to verify that Big Jim is telling the truth that their missing scientist is alive and well.
...da fuq?!
155. That if you absorb every line uttered in this show for comedic value, it's pretty watchable. [Note: I upped my rating from a 3 to a 4 because of this new attitude.]
156. Pretty sure Alien Christine has no nipples.
Helgenberdenhelger...HAHAHAHA!!!
share* When you punch through a wall the previous week, the writers will have a character (Eva) say you "punched through a DOOR" & no one cares enough to do a second take.
* Even though you don't need your glasses anymore, you apparently can't see well enough to not get half the slop you're ladling out into the cups
* someone really wants to frame you bad when they're willing to pull up a floor, saw through some beams, & then replace the floor & wait for it to collapse.
* When you create a diversion of blowing up a boat, everyone will come out to see what happened leaving no one to guard a top secret lab.
* take your time snooping in the lab because it'll take the bad guys a couple hours to investigate that simple explosion before they come back
* video footage from 1990 looks similar to WWII newsreels
* archeologists that find pieces of something broken apart in ice will somehow KNOW it's an egg
* if you wanna kill someone, blow up some trash can rather than just take him by surprise & knife or shoot him
* wailing on someone with a baseball bat to the head will make him look like he's just lying down taking a nap
108. When some offers up a threesome, drop everything you were doing and get to working on making that happen
share* Alien mirror reflections emit quirky sparkly sounds, but only when they're the ones looking at the mirror
* When you don't want someone you're videochatting with to hear what you're saying to someone else in the same room, don't mute the microphone: cover the camera with your hand instead! Great thinking Hunter
* The end of the world doesn't cause any kind of emotional response into the Chesters Mills towners that would be strong enough to snap them out of that trans they're in. Because witnessing the apocalypse isn't particularly disturbing. Finding out that you'd been lied to about the worse thing that could ever happen isn't particularly upsetting either, apparently.
* Wearing your flamboyant ginger hair loose makes for perfect camouflage when you're running through the woods, right Julia?
*If Marg Helgenberger is cast in anything inspired or written by Stephen King, there is a good chance that she will end up organizing a dig in a forest while in charge of a bunch of zombie townspeople that have been stripped of emotion by aliens.
But seriously I would have much rather learned that the military was responsible for it while experimenting with alien technology, without having the aliens show up at all or at least under different circumstances besides the pod people plot.