Sucks... cus I wanted to start a life of my own. An apt., car, wife, I mean I'm crazy smart, but I'm stuck here in my pop's basement, traumatized TRYING to achieve those things! True story, bro. No lies.
shareSame here, sucks doesn't it?
I've got a severe anxiety disorder, moderate OCD, and as a result have been struggling with depression for close to a decade now (I'm 24). I wouldn't say I'm crazy smart, but I managed through High School, held a 3.3 GPA in college with a major and minor, but have gradually succumbed to my conditions since then.
Tbh (as sad as this is), one of the little things that has kept me going was the utter shock of my inpatient and outpatient docs at how I managed to get so far with the severity of my conditions.
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I've got OCD (used to be much worse when I was a kid), Anxiety Disorder, and have had bouts with Depression as a consequence. I find it difficult to find the type of job I want and am academically/professionally qualified for because, as a result of my mental health issues, I can't deal with rejection and therefore avoid applying for certain positions. As a further consequence, because I'm so particular about the pattern of my life (I need a top job first) I don't tend to ask anyone out on dates so I have been single for a long time (despite my illnesses I'm not especially shy or awkward at speaking to women I find attractive, but I just don't bother because I fear I have nothing to offer them), and am thus unlikely of ever getting married/having a family. Basically my inability to go for one thing in life prevents me from going for other things and I end up in a spiral of failure.
My other big fear is that maybe my mental illnesses are incidental to my ability to get my dream job and maybe I'm not only a head-case but an incompetent/mediocrity. As someone with my mental illnesses that's a possibility I find very hard to cope with especially because as a child/teenager people at school were always telling me I had potential.
My heart goes out to both of you.
"If life is enjoyed, does it have to make sense?"