MovieChat Forums > Left 4 Dead 2 (2009) Discussion > Funniest Ellis Story?

Funniest Ellis Story?

posted 14 years ago by bigmike_milo
13 replies | jump to latest

Ellis is my favorite character, and I think its great how he tells such ridiculous stories! I actually have 2 that consider my favorite:

"I ever tell ya about that time me and Keith made homemade bumper car rides with riding mowers in his backyard? Mower Blade wounds over 90% of his body! I didn't run him over either, he somehow managed to fall under his own!"

and

"One time, the army bombed my buddy Keith. He went campin' and didn't bother to read the signs and I guess they were just testin' bombs that day.... all SORTS of stuff too! Not just regular bombs, like Biological Nerve Gas bombs, Shrapnel bombs, these bombs that break up in the air to like a Hundred smaller bombs...."

Coach: WE AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THIS ELLIS!! >:0
Nick: Ellis? IS NOW THE BEST TIME?? >:0
Rochelle: Ellis, sweetie, can this wait?? >:0

Haha. Great stuff. What other ones are good?

[–] SanForZeke 14 years ago

His friend is one unlucky fellow.

"My buddy Keith tried camping out on top of a building once. He was shooting crows, but the police were too busy tear gassin' him to ask what he was doin' up there. He screamed for an entire year every single time when he opened his eyes! Oh man! At first it was funny, then it just got sad, but then it got funny again! Oh man!"

"I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith got rolled by a 'gator in a swamp? Man he didn't agonize it or nothin', we were just tryin' to grab two so we could piss 'em off and get 'em into a fight. Well anyway the third time Keith went under I realized something was wrong so I--"

"I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith drove his car off a cliff, broke both his legs? It's not a funny ha-ha story so much as a make-you-think story. For instance: windshields look pretty durable, right? Not the case, according to Keith. Son of a bitch flew right through that sucker--"
_____________________________________
"Yahemar! Of course we don't let him go!"

[–] Banjo_oz 14 years ago

The bombs one made me actually have to pause the game to stop laughing. He said it just as we were on the bridge near the end of the last campaign, and after hearing all about Keith so many times, this one was just so over the top I found it frickin' hilarious. The way Ellis says "All SORTS of stuff, too!" and goes on to list 'em before being told to shut up! :D

I didn't think I'd like the new survivors when the game was announced, but now I prefer them to the original game's cast (except Francis!).

[–] jimbrockmeier 14 years ago

yeah i think francis should have been the one to be killed off, even though bill being the oldest was the obvious choice. but really, louis was the black guy (no offense to anyone) zoey was the girl and bill was the old guy who also covered the tough guy. so what was francis other than annoying and the guy who started crap with everyone else. RIP bill

[–] mrannah 14 years ago

my finniest Ellis story...NOW....

'hey, did i ever tell you about the time Keith and I replied to a thread about the funniest Ellis story with a thread about which character from the first game shoulda died? i was all 'Hey, Keith, i think we may be in the wrong place.' and he was all 'You're always lookin' for the easy way.' next thing i knew, somebody was posting a strange response in my voice, who'd a thought it?'

[–] Rasputins 13 years ago

What happens to Keith?
I mean the guy can survive an army bombing, gator fights, a Thelma & Louise style car crash, tear gas, and even an amazing riding mower accident; But still succumbs to the zombie plague? psshh
I think he might be another survivor.
If there is any justice in the valve world we will get to meet the man behind the stories.

[–] PandorahSpocks 13 years ago

The bombs one made me actually have to pause the game to stop laughing.

"One time, the army bombed my buddy Keith. He went camping and didn't bother to read the signs, and I guess they were just testing bombs that day. All sorts of stuff, too, not just regular bombs. Like biological nerve-gas bombs, shrapnel bombs, these bombs that break up in the air into, like, a hundred smaller bombs..."

That's my favorite one too.

--
The chain of command is what I go get & beat you with to show you who's in command.

[–] CowboyRider1847 13 years ago

All of them.

90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.

[–] ghost1807 13 years ago

This is my favourite out of them all:

"My buddy Keith lived in a graveyard once for a whole year. It wasn't a dare or nothin', he just got kicked out of his house. He said he NEVER saw a single ghost 'cept for this one time when a ghost stabbed him from behind and took all his money, and he might've just been a homeless guy, 'cause he had a robe on with two eyes cut out his face."

[–] ModestEgg 12 years ago

'This one time, me and my buddy Keith, we tried to make homemade fireworks. Keith used gasoline 'cause he figured "Gasoline burns, doesn't it?". It burns alright, THIRD DEGREE BURNS to 95% of his body!'

[–] CowboyRider1847 12 years ago

Here's the actual quote: "I ever tell you about the time Keith and I made fireworks? Now, I didn't know shi+ about chemistry, but Keith figured 'Gasoline burns, doesn't it?' Heh, third-degree burns on 95% of his body. Man, people in the next city over were calling to complain about the smell of burning skin."

Of course it followed with, "I ever tell you about the time Keith tried to deep-fry a turkey? Third-degree burns over 90 percent of his body. His doctor called up, like, other doctors to look at him cause they'd never seen burns on top of existing burns".

Kill all sons of bitches. That's my official instructions.

[–] the-rebel-angel 12 years ago

I like the one about sucking the heads. Just because it sounds bad and isn't.

---
Tonight we ride on clouds of fire

[–] SasquatchJim 12 years ago

My favorite is:
■"Yo, my buddy Keith had his car drop in a lake off a bridge just like this one here... Yeah, see, he was driving over it late at night and there in the middle of the bridge was what looked like, In Keith's estimation, like a dead bear, so Keith gets out his car to find a stick to poke at it, right? Well, it turns out it's just some lady's fur coat that musta fallen out her car, so, hey, free coat, right? Now, owls won't normally attack a man, but in this case, they were hungry, and that made them reckless, man. Keith reckons that they musta been there for hours watchin' what they thought was a bear carcass, 'cause as soon as he picked it up, them owls had claws in him inch deep. Well, Keith figures his best bet is to jump in a lake, 'cause owls can't swim. Well, them owls could. He fought them for like 20 minutes treading water, and during that time, a boat came, the bridge went up and down went Keith's car. Man, sometimes nature's just tryin' to teach us, if we'd only listen."

I dunno why, but the idea of owls attacking a man cracks me up. Also, I like the one about the goat on the dirtbike track. "Okay, but there WAS a goat!"

Let a little insanity into your life.

[–] GettinHotWithJC 9 years ago

"My buddy Keith lived in a graveyard once for a whole year. It wasn't a dare or nothin', he just got kicked out of his house. He said he NEVER saw a single ghost 'cept for this one time when a ghost stabbed him from behind and took all his money, and he might've just been a homeless guy, 'cause he had a robe on with two eyes cut out his face."

The bold part had me laughing so hard when I first heard it. LOL!

Rhonda
http://misskingdomvii.deviantart.com/