In the scene where Tommy Lee is attempting to make love to Meryl in front of the fireplace and stops in the middle of the "act", why can he not go any further? She accuses him of not finding her attractive any more ("You had your eyes wide open"); he denies that and replies "No, it's not you; it's me." How did you guys interpret this scene?
share[deleted]
I just took it to mean that he did, in fact, stop finding her to be attractive.
He was all into it at first, yunno, but then he lost his mojo when she made him look her in the face.
Which, of course, made HER feel like crap, even though it more HIS problem than hers.
Just how I saw it.
At first I thought he had finished already because he was making that scrunchy old man face, then I thought maybe he was about to have a heart attack, then when they rolled off each other I thought maybe he was frustrated because he couldn't get it up (especially when she started calling him a liar) but ultimately I think it's just that he got right up close to her face and stopped. I just think it wasn't as obvious as it should have been because they had been kissing and groping and their faces were close.
shareAt first I thought he had finished already because he was making that scrunchy old man face, then I thought maybe he was about to have a heart attack, then when they rolled off each other I thought maybe he was frustrated because he couldn't get it up (especially when she started calling him a liar) but ultimately I think it's just that he got right up close to her face and stopped. I just think it wasn't as obvious as it should have been because they had been kissing and groping and their faces were close.
--------
bingo
i went through the same progression.
-We Provide.....Leverage
I laughed so hard the third time I read "that scrunchy old man face". I'm even laughing as I hit "post reply".
shareAt 61 all that I can say is "been there" it happens. Thankfully my wife doesn't respond the way Meryl did in this film.
shareSpoilers:
Well, she mentioned earlier in the film (during counseling) that it had gotten to the point during sex that Tommy Lee would always keep his eyes scrunched shut.
During this fireplace scene, when they started to make love, she gently coaxed his eyes opened. It is here that his face turns to one of fright and then she gets upset and the sex ends. She accuses him of not finding her attractive, to which he indicates that's not the problem, and that the problem is with him.
Ok, having prefaced with that: My interpretation is that Tommy Lee's character developed this scrunching of the eyes during sex as a fear of intimacy. Through life he had lost the ability to love himself, let alone her. He had built up this mask with the shutting of eyes to keep her from truly seeing him because in many ways he felt ugly and ashamed of himself on the inside.
When she opened his eyes, he felt completely vulnerable - totally naked. And it scared him. True intimacy can be scary. Losing yourself in someone else. Tommy Lee was ultimately afraid of letting her see that nakedness. And of him seeing their nakedness through her eyes.
The eyes are extremely powerful. And this film subtly points that out.
[deleted]
I too think it was an intimacy problem and I was hoping that would come out in the therapy session (btw, I'm female). Anyway, this movie had so much potential and so much wasted talent (Shue, Rodgers and Carrel), not to mention boring, that I'm surprised that it didn't go straight to video. If it had not been for Merle and Tommy Lee's stellar acting reputation, this movie would have ended up on the cutting room floor.
Follow me on twitter @sydsmoviepicks
the people who wrote answers here are better than the script writers. Your replies are deeper and more complex than the film itself.
The scene didn't really communicate anything clearly except that Arnold lost his mojo. The rest is up to us to guess.
http://www.amazon.com/Save-Send-Delete-Danusha-Goska/dp/1846949866
he usually keeps his eyes closed then she asks him to look at her during sex and then he loses it, thats why she says u dont find me attractive anymore ..
shareSpot on notricks!!! Great post.
"I don't need some middle-age menopausal man telling me how to run my life!!"
Good reply. For great in-to-me-see, may I suggest "soul gazing" from short distance where you bot fix your soft gaze at your lover (or even yourself in the mirror).
Romantic mythology is designed to hide in an illusion, a box with payoff that ultimately fail as strategies do. It's like having romantic darken lights or candles & then immediately turn on really bright lights. Kind of kills the mood, don't you think? Besides that too many men have a terrible diet of too much meat, too much non-organic food, sugary soft drinks & other junk food, and then they become sexually dysfunctional with erectile dysfunction (E.D.) even though they appear all manly, virile, handsome & powerful (before they drop dead from a heart attack or whatever, leave their wife with a fortune she didn't earn or possible deserve - making women more wealthy than men).
I wasn't really sure. I thought maybe he needed to pop a Viagra or something. I really don't think it was her. I'm sure he was telling the truth when he said it was him and not her.
Notrick, I'm completely with you. I'll add that he saw himself through her eyes and he didn't like what he saw. I got the feeling that he felt unattractive and in shutting his eyes, he was shutting out what he imagined she saw.
to/too - their/they're - through/threw...any questions?
Great responses by all, though notricks66 and moistsnackcake answers resonated most with me. I couldn't figure out whether he really was turned off by her physically (as often happens to couples as they age) or whether it did in fact have more to do with his own self-image. I think the clincher was the image of Tommy Lee's homely mug staring down at the camera (very brave acting bit on his part!) which was a reflection of his low self-esteem which undermined their relationship.
sharei thought the best parts of the movie were when arnold actually opened up, ie. talking about their best sex or at the restaurant... just wish the movie had dispensed with the movie theater and bananas cheap laughter schtick and made this more about arnold. i don't mind subtlty or letting the audience figure it out blah blah blah, but i thought there could have been a killer scene if arnold said more than, 'its not you, its me'. perhaps multiple viewing would help me catch more nuance but...
shareIn many ways the movie raised more questions than it answered.
shareDon't a lot of people close their eyes during orgasm, men and women?
shareThe eyes-closed or eyes-open thing is probably important. Literature and film are loaded with moments when a character closes his or her eyes, often imagining at the orgasmic moment that he or she is with someone else, or not wishing to physically "see" anything, or perhaps even to be just by himself. The eyes-open thing is often portrayed as a "moment of truth" where the object is a sense of deeply-held affection, a "meaningful sharting," or perhaps some kind of challenge. In my own limited experience, it is a more edgy, almost crucible-like thing, appropriate at some times and not at others.
Ah, what do I know.
i just assumed erectile dysfunction
shareI think it might have had to do with his low-self esteem..which doesn't exactly come off in the beginning..especially with that comment he makes when they met..how..she would never be an accountant...
shareivyarrived, I think you're right about the low self-esteem. As to Arnold's remark that Kay would never be an accountant, people who feel crummy about themselves frequently try to deal with it by making disparaging remarks about others.
And remember Arnold's comment to Kay in the swank restaurant: "I couldn't believe you picked me. You could have had anybody you wanted."
"Makeup is pointless!"
I think it had more to do with the pressure of creating this perfect moment. In therapy they talked about the best sex they'd had, which was spontaneous. He worked all day trying to set up another perfect moment and when the moment came he couldn't let go and be in the moment. So rather than disapoint her again, he chose to pull back.
Check out my blog. Spoilers abound!
http://mymovieoftheday.blogspot.com/
Great insight, jolelak !
"Makeup is pointless!"
Same ol' same ol'. Got to GoDeep. Be authentic with REAL feelings and not I feel "like" or I feel "that". And be willing & able to be...vulnerable (gulp) & not stay "safe" in the familiar role of the ego's dominator role (like stuck at two years old). Let's face it, there's no escaping the Dark Knight of the soul & unresolved issues. Perhaps Tommy Lee's character is calling out for understanding & empathy & compassion. Hmm?
shareI'm a 66 yr old guy in good health and shape (for my age).
Unbidden and with NO connection to my beloved's attractiveness to my erotic centers, my 'equipment' occasionally isn't what it once was.
His eyes were open in genuine surprise at his body betraying him.
[deleted]