THINGS I LEARNED FROM WATCHING THIS KEYRAP

1. I can have 20+ agents with me yet no one secures the house or looks under the bed or handcuffs everyone.

2. Old rickety tenements have solid walls and stairs that don't creak.

3. There are zero street officers in Romania.

4. No one dares speaks romananian in a Bucharesti police precinct.

5. Never hit someone when Segal is holding them. Neverrrrrrrr.

6. Thats the dude that kick rob van dammes ass in blood moon.

7. Snitches double as comedic relief.

8. Publishers Clearing House vans double as stake out vehicles.

9. American cars are now #1 in europe. Chargers, Rovers, sentras, No more Citroens for me.

10. American stop and frisk laws go over so well in foreign countries but reading miranda rights is totally unnecessary.

11. The only people getting brought to the precinct are alcoholics and hoes.

12. I can get my ass handed to me yet take no lessons and go back a few days later with no extra training and expect to win.

13. Segal loves casting himself opposite alien looking jailbait.

14. I.D.T.F stands for I'm Definitely The Fatass

15. Stashpads can double as warehouses they are effing huge.

16. Murderous thugs who own clubs get bitch slapped by old Russian dudes.

17. If you don't have the money tomorrow i will kill you but if i find out you are the sicko they said i will come back and kill you again.

18. Stripclubs in romania are known for their DJ's, dancefloor and alcohol. Don't pay attention to the dancers at any cost.

19. Search warrants are a thing of the past.

20. Segal can't keep a partner or the weight off.

21. 300 pound russian thugs always act nervous around the boss but blonde slim shady keeps her blue steel look throughout the movie.

22. Segal shows respect by purchasing 2 coach seats to russia while this guy probably owns an airline.

23. Movie should have been called Born to raise spoon to mouth. Segal is huge.