News Flash --


Hate to burst anyone's bubble, but a "real" working farm is nothing like this Holly Hobby of a fantasy place. But I know it's a Hallmark movie. And I was drawn to watching this like watching a 5-fatality car accident.

I love how: every one is dressed in L. L. Bean togs. Manure-less paddocks/corrals are carpeted with grass similar to pristine meadows and have never seen the copious urine and hooves of animals-of-husbandry. The farmstead's kitchen rival's Martha Stewart's kucina in the Hamptons. The NYC girl comes on the scene and all of sudden gets all "farmy." And she still remembers how to spin wool and can knit-up anything with Saks Fifth Avenue connections for her apparel? And the old gal-pals have PLENTY of time on their hands to rock on porches that are lined with gorgeously potted daisies and KNIT. and where are any KIDS? Nobody has babies in this county! Except for the vet -- he takes unnamed children out on evening hikes into the woods and shows them practices for erosion and the ecosystem's importance. Oh -- and the vet who also owns a mansion that's impeccably furnished? Umm...can't buy any of it. And sorry: there's no such thing as a farmer who hates dogs. All farmers dig dogs. Dogs run the farmyard. They are beloved. Finally: farmers LIVE by weather reports. They own National Weather Service radios. It's part of the culture. So everyone's "hip" to crazy storms -- including wayward veterinarians conducting eco-journeys with the entire child population of the township.

Whoops: farmers are usually working so dang hard they can't decorate their homes that notably well and what they inhabit is a crap structure straight out of a Wyeth painting. They rarely drink Cabernet wines -- usually a nice cold one; long-neck.

It was irritating as heck to see this cutesy-pie portrayal of a livestock farm and those who supposedly "work" it. And the lawnscapes beautifully manicured? Not on your life. There's no such thing as "gardeners" on farms. There are kids on lawn mowers who work all day Saturday to get 18 acres trimmed...

Ick.

But I DID like how I could watch the movie without any commercial interruptions.

If you wanna see a city-dwellers collision with "reality" in the bucolic loveliness of the countryside, watch Diane Keaton in "Baby Boom." Now THAT movie tells it like it is.

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