OUCH!!!!!!! (some spoilers and a whole lot of disappointment)

i sat here and tried to seriously review this film. but i cant find the words. i LOVED the book. i am so disappointed. keva has been replaced by some diet-ian curtis with delusions and gradeur and a permenant scowl. guy seems to have morphed into some tramp in a beanie. hannah's mystique has been lost behind a block of mahogany. james love is a blonde midget who wouldnt look out of place in the tower(s) of london and the other two grams are now mute. alfie allen's wheezer tries so hard to bring some sense of order to the whole affair but hes king cnut against an angry and sadly predictable tide.

what made the book was the dynamic of the grams. they were a band. keva was relentlessly determined to make it big. he was driven by a darkness inside of him that was offset by the madcap antics of love and the other grams and that seems to have been replaced by some piteously poor subplot and the inclusion of a nonsensical friend on ibiza (seriously, what was wrong with just going there to film the video?) who controls his destiny after his new 'childhood trauma' (burned guitar, arguments with stepdad...seen better plot development on byker grove). james love himself has been reduced to little more than a parody of nobody inparticular with a bizarre and inexplicable camaraderie with horace's band quite against the idea of their having stolen his music. and, as for the other two grams...well..they simply arent there. their contribution is a series of nods and gurns. you get the feeling they were being paid by the word.

ticky's suicide, predicated on the idea that wheezer walks at the speed of a snail, is hilarious. seriously, if you are going to subject yourself to this utter tosh, do it only for that. it is, to my mind, the new low moment of british cinema for the 00's.

this movie could/should have been amazing. the story then has been caught between the era in which it was written and today. the film SHOULD be relevant. gigs and festivals are more popular now than ever, and the advent of the internet as a tool for making and breaking new artists mean that this story is as important to today as it has ever been. whilst it tries to tip its cap towards the internet generation, it clearly totally misunderstands it at the same time. the ridicously titled 'johnny winegums' (he has winegums) plays the role of blogger/reporter/cameraman/conjourer of fans in an all encompassing faceplant of a character. it is small wonder then that this film failed to find a commercial audience. i didnt count a single line from the book, it has been replaced by dialogue that wouldnt be out of place in porn and a story that not even porn would stoop to.

to follow the storyline of the film, you need to have read the book. but if youve read the book, youre going to hate the film.

i could go on. but i wont let myself. i just hope the cheque was MASSIVE kevin, i really do.