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Breaking free of religion - growing up a Jehovah's Witness

posted 12 years ago by sonodaj
5 replies | jump to latest

I saw this movie not long after it came out. I got lost in watching the main character struggle breaking free of his religious past.

I'd like to throw a disclaimer out there, I'm not calling Islam a cult, this is about my experiences growing up as a Jehovah's Witness and leaving what is, and forever will be, a destructive cult.

I don't know if any of you who read this, if anyone reads this, is familiar with the Jehovah's Witnesses. If someone pissed you off early in the morning trying to hand you a Watchtower magazine, then you've at least met one. For better or worse. From the age of 5 until I was roughly 21, I was involved. At 21, I finally bounced, decided to shuck the religion and try and be like...everyone else. Much like Tariq.

That was painful, hell it still is. I remember my first couple of parties, I was just as lost as Tariq. Frankly, I think I still am. Same goes for trying to dance, mingle with non-Jehovah's Witnesses, but I'd like to say, I DO have rhythm lol. Not knowing what to do when a girl was interested in you, been there. Maybe it's my self-deprecating nature, or maybe I'm just incredibly depressed, but I still feel that way. Breaking free hasn't been easy, it's been downright awful, though it's something I have to do. I'd say it's rather different as it seems to be that you can be Muslim and still NORMAL. You just can't do that as a Jehovah's Witness. It was like watching myself on screen. Also a bit weird that Tariq and I look very similar, it's ncanny really. Seeing him try and get close to that little girl while he was in the boarding school brought back memories of me being in middle school lol. Wish I had done more to break free then.

I just want to say, that while there were more important tones in the movie, like somehow becoming an enemy in a country you love solely based on the actions of a crazy few, I really appreciated seeing that struggle Tariq went through. It touched me.

http://www.alifedepressed.com

[–] kns1983 12 years ago

I just watched this movie for the first time today, and came on the boards and saw your post. I was "born-in" Jehovah's Witness, and I can relate very much to how you feel.I'm 28 and even though I haven't been active as a Witness for years, I finally broke free from the beliefs about two years ago when my kids started kindergarten and preschool and I realized I didn't want them to grow up the way I did. Not that my childhood was bad, but as you know growing up and going to school as a Jehovah's Witness is very very different. To this day I feel like it's affected me when it comes to social situations and meeting new people, since we are taught to be no part of the world.

Anyway I enjoyed the movie and your post, and if you read this I hope all is well for you!

"I love the smell of nail polish in the morning!" - Jason Stackhouse

[–] sonodaj 12 years ago

Sorry it's so late, but thanks for the reply.

I'm happy you broke free and hoping you're enjoying the new lease on life. The movie was great and I'd love for more to see it.

[–] thebigoka72 12 years ago

I read your post and see you as a person who understood what the movie was really about. It could have been any religion, but the truth of the matter is he was breaking away from his family and the regimen of discipline. I'm a Muslim and growing up, I was nowhere as tormented as the T was in the film. I was allowed to be a child, then a teen, then an adult. It was as an adult that I chose to embrace Islam and it didn't feel forced.

He who is without sin, go find some. We can't wait all night.

[–] sonodaj 12 years ago

Thanks. I'm disappointed with some of the threads on here. It wasn't about being tormented as a Muslim, it was about being tormented internally and growing into yourself apart from what you were forced into.

It's not about Islam at all and all about growth. He used Islam becauuse that was his experience.

Anyway, I think it's great that you had the chance to embrace Islam on your own and not have it forced on you. I think that's the way it shold be done and I say that for all religions. Either a person will believe, or break away. You can't force someone to believe and really, is that what Allah, God, whomever would want? Would they really want someone who is there only becase they are forced to be and not because they truly want to be?

[–] papillonsarah 12 years ago

I grew up as a Witness too, and nearly all of my extended family are still active members. I can't say that I felt I was seeing my life by watching T, but I definitely related to certain parts. Who was that classmate, Cedric? Cedric reminded me of a lot of kids that teased me all throughout school for being a witness. Add being poor and a nerd to that, and well, it's not hard to see why I wasn't popular. I would dread the Pledge of Allegiance every morning, because as a Witness you don't say that, which makes you stick out so much. If you're Muslim, there's some expectation that you have different beliefs and customs so even if people don't understand them all, they pretty much don't question it. But Witnesses consider themselves Christians, and the other kids didn't understand why if we're both Christians, I didn't believe the same as them. "You don't get Christmas presents? You don't celebrate birthdays?" Try explaining that when you're a child!

No one gives you a Valentine. You don't get candy for Easter, or Halloween, or Christmas. I remember one Christmas in particular. The class had a Christmas party with food and watched a Christmas movie. They moved my desk to the hallway and closed the door. I could see through the tiny glass in the door the had turned the lights out. And I could see the flicker of the TV screen and hear my classmates laughing. This is why I don't care if schools become too PC and take out religion. Good. No kid should be made to go through that.

I'd say it's rather different as it seems to be that you can be Muslim and still NORMAL. You just can't do that as a Jehovah's Witness.

This is very true. If we only excluded "worldly" holiday celebrations, that would be fine. But we don't celebrate anything. We have the Memorial but that is an observance, not a celebration. (My mom invited me to the memorial coming up. I tried to decline as politely as I could without laughing in her face.) Even the weddings are somber! Every blue moon there would be get-togethers at someone's house, but my mom was more on the extreme end of the religion so we didn't even go to many of those. If it weren't for the assemblies we'd probably never have left town. I liked staying in the hotel and that was about it.

I was publishing until I was around 23, then I left home, got a full-time job and gradually drifted away. I just didn't have time for it, basically. I had a night job so I had an excuse for missing meetings. I don't know some of them do it with families and responsibilities in the congregation. I've been out of the organization for quite awhile, but I still feel like I'm caught between two worlds sometimes. I don't drink or party. I'm not very sociable which makes dating...interesting, lol. I've only started celebrating my birthday in the last few years. I don't tell my mom, of course.

Wish I had done more to break free then.

But weren't you a kid? What would you have done?

Ravage the land as never before, total destruction from mountain to shore!