Harry Plinkett also wrote this essay about his life
Hi I'm Harry Plinkett. And that's my real name.
I was born in an unusual circumstances. During her labor, my mom had no clue that she was pregnant and about to deliver a baby (me). She thought that all these months she had a fat belly due to eating lot of popcorns. After lot of painful thinking, my dad got an idea and he called a doctor and explained the symptoms. Just before I was about to get dropped and flushed in the toilet, my dad saved the day.
My favorite color still today is Pink. I like to wear pink dresses, pink underwear and ofcourse a pink ribbon on my hair.
I was always a cause of laughter for kids in my class. I used to like watching them laugh and laugh along with them. It was after I asked my teacher what it means to be called as 'Stupid' and 'Dumb', I started hating the world.
But one day, it changed everything for me. One day 3 men grabbed me at night on a lonely street. They undid my pants and forced me to face the wall. They then inserted an 8 inch long hard rubber kind of pipe thing in my a_ss. They kept it throbbing in and out for an hour. It was very painful. After they let me free, I asked them what did they do to me. One of the guy smiled and said they did an Enema treatment on me and it was going to make me healthy. I was amazed. As a token of thanks I gave them 200 bucks (that was all I had). From that day I learned that the world is not a bad place. I went home and shared this experience to my new guardians who were a childless couple in their 60s and who adopted me after my dad went to Prison and my mom went to coma. They started crying. I knew it were the tears of happiness.
Years went by and my dad was released. He is a big fan of Edward Jr. Wood movies. He took to me to a movie. My first movie was 'Demon Island (2002)'. What a wonderful movie it was. Same year I saw Nine Lives with Paris Hilton in it. It became my instant favorite.
My dad asked me to do something that can make me famous. I was wondering what could let me achieve that. Soon I became well-versed with using computer and internet. It changed my life forever. Internet. I knew this was the place where I can make my name. I discovered IMDB. And I post my valuable comments by posting numerous threads on many of the movie's discussion boards.
I have a friend living in my neighborhood. He told me that I can earn some bucks and pay my electricity bills. He told me that there is place known as Men's strip bar where women comes and pay money if we get naked. It was challenging for me but I couldn't get more than a 10 bucks a day. The bar manager told me I was too ugly and the sight of me disgusted some women and let his overall business down.
I quit. But I had to work and earn money. I told about my life changing childhood incidence to my friend. Something clicked to him. He got a blind man who would do Enema treatment on me and could pay me for that! I mean...wow. Though it was painful, but I can't compromise on my objective of making a name on internet. Every day I get Enema treatment and I get paid 50 bucks.
I got a girl-friend. She is different than others. She wears thick glasses, have many broken teeths, a little baldness on the middle of her scalp and weighs 180 pounds. Every night we used to go to trailer parks and make love. We love the competition of who can spit the farthest. And that's what I call a true romance.
I request you to copy this biography of mine and save it on your PC, because if by some reason this gets deleted by a person and a troll whose name is 'administrator', any of you guys can re-post it again. I have very less disk space left now. Need to go for my Enema treatment so I can collect some money and get an external hard disk.
Lovingly yours,
Harry Plinkett