MovieChat Forums > Salmon Fishing in the Yemen (2012) Discussion > What about the woman who got left behind...

What about the woman who got left behind?

posted 12 years ago by Windy_Dave
24 replies | jump to latest

I saw this movie with my wife and 13 year-old son. We all enjoyed it. The story is complex enough that is does not seem too 'cookie cutter' and the story, direction and acting are all well-done. However, what's been sinking in for me after seeing the movie is that this is yet another story of a male mid-life crisis. Trapped in his dead-end job and a marriage he (and his wife) has not realized is over, the involvement with a new work project and a woman 15 to 20 years his junior reinvigorates his life. What about the wife he left behind?

Let's face it, how many movies do we see about the woman who got left behind? She's got to start over again and has no possibility, at least without intrusive and expensive fertility treatments, to have children. As an older parent, the whole scene where he talks about quitting his job and being a stay-at-home dad just rang false. We know Fred and Mary are not parents, but no hint at why. For couples who have tried and failed, it is a painful and emotional subject. Yet his flippant suggestion would imply they were a young and fertile couple with the option to have children of their own. In such a real-life situation, his comment would be a very hurtful attack.

I recall that storyline in "Secrets and Lies" where everyone thinks the childless woman is haughty and selfish, when in fact she is crushed and emotionally stunted by her inability of have a child of her own.

How about some movies that look at the fallout from men finding their way out of the mid-life crises/dead-end lives: the other half of the couple? What does the woman (soon to be ex-wife) experience in putting her life back together and finding a new direction and purpose, and maybe another relationship?

[–] johnston.scot 12 years ago

That's actually sort of mini-genre of sorts, I think. The treatment tends to be somewhat soapy and life (or Lifetime network) affirming, rather than tragic. Also, the specific childlessness element isn't typical. Kids might figure heavily, though sometimes they're peripheral.

"An Unmarried Woman" is a prime example, though not exactly current.
"Eat Pray Love" is current, at least.
"Mildred Pierce," both the old one and the HBO miniseries.
"Under the Tuscan Sun"
"Living Out Loud"
"Waiting to Exhale"
"It's Complicated"
"First Wives Club," in a more farcical vein.

[–] krautdoggg 12 years ago

Mary gets to die. Just like the girl's mother (who?) We get to hear all about her father's stiff upper lip. No mention of mom. This film has all the complexity of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. But Snow White didn't get to bang her dad at the end.

[–] filmnoggin 12 years ago

I think in this story, Mary was not a very sympathetic character, which is why the audience could understand why Jones might decide to leave her. She did not seem at all interested in his work; she was not interested in him physically, and unlike him, she didn't seem to want to start a family.

[–] hammerbutt 12 years ago

She's an old sourpuss let her buy a half dozen cats. Although since they showed what a pud Fred was in bed its unlikely Harriet will stay interested in him for long

[–] jnnfrbryc 12 years ago

It's an interesting question and I've seen films look at both sides; I just think its difficult to show both sides at once. The audience has to be on Fred's side and rooting for him to get together with Harriet; the only other option in that situation is for Fred to be single and a little reclusive.
Part of the film is about Fred coming out of his shell so he needs to a shell to come out of; Mary serves as the creator of that shell. She controls what he eats, what he wears (she shows surprise and concern when he isn't wearing a suit and tie), how he writes his e-mails and even corrects his papers for him. She controls every aspect of his life and is concerned about maintaining the stability of that control; despite the fact that Fred is clearly unhappy in his job she refuses to even consider that he leave and do something else, she even hates the idea of him earning money from the sheik's project but not under the control of the Fisheries department.
In terms of having a family Mary simply doesn't seem interested (she doesn't look too old to be considering motherhood for the first time and Fred doesn't seem the type to be inconsiderate enough to suggest it if he knew there were problems), they would upset the stability of the world she has created for herself. In some ways she treats Fred like her child.
Their sex life too is completely controlled by Mary; Fred has to thank her afterwards and I'm pretty sure he has to ask permission in the first place. The fact that she just lies there and then mutters, "there, that should hold you for a while" suggests that she simply isn't interested as, again, Fred doesn't seem the type to force himself on her if she found the experience painful.
Basically I see Mary as a physical embodiment of the world Fred finally escapes from, in much the same way as I see the sheik as a symbol of faith, not in a higher power per say, more a sense of inner faith. He and Mary are kind of opposites and I see Fred's journey not as him leaving Mary for Harriet but him leaving the way of life Mary represents for the way of life represented by the sheik; it just so happens that Harriet is part of that new life.
Um, I might have gone on a bit here. Basically all I'm trying to say is I see where you're coming from but personally I think that Mary has to be the way she is in order for the story to work. Hope some of that made sense :)

[–] Ambrosia-I 12 years ago

Your take on Mary and what she represents makes perfect sense to me, jnnfrbryc. I think she was in complete control in that relationship and he'd obviously spent years just robotically going along with what she said, whether in bed or with her choice of food and clothing. I don't think Fred was being in the least bit flippant when he suggested having children. It sounded to me like a discussion they'd had in the past and one which Mary had dismissed because she didn't want them. Fred just seemed sad and resigned to that.

I thought it was telling that, even though Harriet had seemingly chosen Robert, Fred still did not wish to return to Mary when she'd texted him not to leave her. He'd already chosen the more challenging life and didn't want to go back to how things had been before.

[–] jnnfrbryc 12 years ago

I agree. I also liked the little exchange between Fred and Robert. Fred is ready to admit that he's in love with Harriet but he wont get in the way; its entirely up to her. Fred is now living his own life and he wants Harriet to have the same freedom he has found.
What's nice is that Robert has a similar attitiude; he doesn't want Harriet to feel trapped because she feels she owes him something so he leaves her to make her own decision.
The whole film is about finding the strength to find your own freedom and make your own choices which is why I think it felt so uplifting. I've heard that the ending of the book is quite different but I think that the writers have done a nice job of keeping a consistant tone that provides a sense of satisfaction.

[–] Ambrosia-I 12 years ago

Loved that bit where Fred said, "Apology not accepted." It was possibly the most direct and honest thing he'd ever said in his life, but even then it was said with no malice. I haven't read the book either, but I liked the ending. For me, the Sheikh was a catalyst for change - he wanted to help his own countrymen, but also had an impact on the people he met. It was good to see a Muslim character portrayed in such a positive way.

[–] shinshan 12 years ago

On the whole it is a pretty bad movie, but I don't think there was any issue with Fred leaving Mary. She seemed pretty uninterested in him. And although the film has faded in my mind a bit now, I remember at the time of watching thinking her getting upset with his leaving didn't make much sense. She had ignored him most of the time.

[–] davcamp2 11 years ago

I thought this was the most interesting part of the movie. She texts him right after the soldier comes back and Harriet now out of the picture. I thought he was going to consider going back, but the character realizes it's not Harriet that made him leave his wife. It's him evolving as a man. That is so important and done so subtly. Harriet or no Harriet, he couldn't go back to that life.

And left behind? They made that woman as pleasant as a day in jail. Crimminy, she bails on him for six weeks like it's an afterthought. They obviously weren't in much contact, considering he quit his job like two weeks before she 'surprised' him at the house. How about that scene where it's raining and she's not even sharing the umbrella? He then asks about having kids and she ignores him, saying something like, "what were you blabbering about back there?"

Two things made it easy for him to leave. One, they made her character awful. He didn't have anything to go back to. Two he saved the Sheik's life twice. I figure he's never going to have to work another day in his life.

[–] cleargraphics 12 years ago

In a story, or romantic comedy, it's still important to protect sympathy for the the protagonist. I lost sympathy for the male leading character as the story unfolded so, I did not enjoy this movie, particularly the ending. I prefer a story where the distracted male turns his heart back towards home, his family, and back to his life commitments. Ewan McGregor is my favorite actor and I'm glad to see Emily Blunt getting better movie roles, but this film was not my kind of movie.

[–] mykeoki 12 years ago

did you not see the sex scene? she was a dead fish in bed and you can't expect to keep a man for long if your not good i mean great in bed

[–] Victover 12 years ago

For that odd couple?
Come on!
She was moving to Geneva at least for six weeks, almost w/o warning; "There are airflights...Go and visit me..I might have sundays off"
She had let it go a lot earlier than the guy. So, you know exactly what happened to the woman left behind.

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[–] LordLustworthy 12 years ago

And just in case anyone's not sure that she's meant to be unsympathetic, the person playing her is five years younger than Ewan McGregor, yet they gave her the hair and wardrobe of a woman five years older.

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[–] Kuato_and_George 12 years ago

What about her? She and Fred had a terrible relationship anyway. She takes a job in another country without even telling her husband; until he literally catches her packing.

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[–] madamebrad 12 years ago

I'm a wife myself, but I think she made it very clear that she wasn't very invested in the relationship. Now, I will give you this...in films, that's an old trope, the woman who is left after being a bit of a detached wife or girlfriend.

But I did't have an issue with this at all. And with respect, I think you're making this into far too personal of an issue rather than dealing with the character as she was presented in the film (as well as the book) which is someone who did not want children.

[–] cleargraphics 12 years ago

You make some very good points, Madamebrad. Thanks.