MovieChat Forums > You Again (2010) Discussion > I don't get why Joanna didn't just apolo...

I don't get why Joanna didn't just apologize


I seem to keep reading excuses like "she wasn't sorry" (even read a "she doesn't have a reason to be sorry") and "it wouldn't be heartfelt anyway!" But she was going to all the trouble to be nice to the rest of the family (forget whether that was geniune or not)...why couldn't she be the same to Marni?

Yes, she was trying to be nice and pretend to not fess up around to cover up for the family, but the least she could have done was fess up and apologize when they were in a private place.

Okay, okay...it had to be this way for the sake of the storyline and comedy in the movie. I liked the movie. But it's the type of movie that makes me think later on and compare my experiences to. I know that to this day, the kids that bullied me in high school probably don't even think they ever did anything wrong and wouldn't have any intention of apologizing to me today. And I don't expect to hear apologies if I ever were to cross paths with one of them at the grocery store. But I feel like, in a situation like this, were we would be seeing eachother frequently for the rest of our lives, I would hope to sit down one day and discuss my feelings of high school with them. I would hope that even if they didn't see any wrong in their past, expressing myself, telling them how their actions and words effected me (even if they don't understand why), then that person would be able to understand that I was hurt and apologize.

As long as it wasn't some snotty "I'M SORRY!!!" coming from a 4-year-old whose parents dragged them over...I'm sure it would have been much easier to accept Joanna and lead to a friendly relationship in the future.

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I think it was because she was so ashamed of her behavior then that she tried to cover it up completely. To her, that was her way of burying the hatchet. She probably figured that if she was nice to Marni, Marni would see that she really was sorry and wanted to make amends.

Remember, it wasn't just Joanna that bullied her. Those other girls did too and they acted like they didn't really remember Marni either.

I know that if I ever saw those mean girls from high school again I probably wouldn't give them the time of day, whether they wanted to apologize or not.


Our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch--Remember Me

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Okay, fine...she was ashamed and tried to cover it up. But Marni provided multiple opportunities to talk about it in private, and the first time Joanna still played like she didn't know what she was talking about, and then later, she went back to her old fashioned bully-self...which is why I feel like her plea at the end of "I'm a different person" and "ashamed of the past" isn't all that true.

Whether she did alone or in a group is meaningless.

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Because she didn't felt like talking about it. Joanna wanted to move on past HS and didn't wanted to be reminded of how she was as a teen. Not completely defending her but who wants to talk about something they're not comfortable sharing or that you're embarrassed about?

Marnie was so stuck on 2002 that she refused to see what's going on in the present.

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Sure and as a sign of moving on she gave Marnie a "MOO" necklace and playing "We are the Champions". Because a sign of moving on and not being stuck in the past is to taunt your future sister-in-law with a hated nickname and to play a song you used to taunt her with.

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Denial is a very common psychological defense mechanism in dealing with painful events or guilt.



When I'm good, I'm GOOD. When I'm bad, I'm BETTER.

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I agree. I think that if she had truly changed, and actually did feel bad about her past behavior, she would been okay with having a private conversation with Marni. Marni would have been happy if Joanna just gave a sincere apology, but Joanna refused to even acknowledge it and pretended that she didn't even remember Marni -which was ridiculous, because she *knew* that Marni knew she was lying. If Joanna and Marni just had a conversation about it, between the two of them, they could have moved past it and there wouldn't have even been a need to tell Will about it.

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this is exactly the question I came to this board to have answered. It is a massive plot hole. She was clearly nasty with the MOO necklace. Her turnaround made no sense.
Her first fake apology I can almost excuse, marnie backed her in a corner and she was defensive. Same goes for playing the queen song, she was attacked by marnie and in a defensive move, attacked back. When JJ calmed down, however, she should of made peace somewhere with marnie. The necklace was the real mistake. That was a calculated attack on marnie. That wasn't a "heat of the moment" defensive move. It was nasty.

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I don't even think that was the main issue of the story - obviously old habits die hard, and it's quite often that you see people refusing to own up to the people they were or take responsibility for their actions.

My main beef with the movie, is how the core principal of "family > everything else" plays out so obnoxiously in this film, and how it leads to such an unrealistic payoff with Marni and Joanna. Like, Marni has to just forgive Joanna for the years of mental abuse and trauma... because Joanna's marrying Marni's brother. Joanna literally ruined Marni's life, and all of a sudden it means nothing. C'mon.

And then there's the utterly sexist subplot resolution between Gail and Ramona. Like, Gail is so much better than Ramona because she has the love of her family... Really? There's the whole setup that Gail comes out superior in her battle between her and Ramona, and as an audience we're supposed to believe that because she has a family who loves her, a housewife from California is so much better off than one of the richest and most powerful women in the world? For friggin' real?

Like, let's be real. The film is pretty damaging in terms of what it's telling people; that as a woman, you do not matter except as a member of a family, and that your accomplishments mean nothing unless it involves a family. What are we really teaching girls, then?

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I don't even think that was the main issue of the story - obviously old habits die hard, and it's quite often that you see people refusing to own up to the people they were or take responsibility for their actions.

My main beef with the movie, is how the core principal of "family > everything else" plays out so obnoxiously in this film, and how it leads to such an unrealistic payoff with Marni and Joanna. Like, Marni has to just forgive Joanna for the years of mental abuse and trauma... because Joanna's marrying Marni's brother. Joanna literally ruined Marni's life, and all of a sudden it means nothing. C'mon.

And then there's the utterly sexist subplot resolution between Gail and Ramona. Like, Gail is so much better than Ramona because she has the love of her family... Really? There's the whole setup that Gail comes out superior in her battle between her and Ramona, and as an audience we're supposed to believe that because she has a family who loves her, a housewife from California is so much better off than one of the richest and most powerful women in the world? For friggin' real?

Like, let's be real. The film is pretty damaging in terms of what it's telling people; that as a woman, you do not matter except as a member of a family, and that your accomplishments mean nothing unless it involves a family. What are we really teaching girls, then?

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