Contact + Liar, Liar = ...

... hopefully something better than this atrocity.

I mean, there's the 'lost dad' scene from 'Contact', with the HAM radio of course (because 'lost dads' obviously can't just use the phone or anything).

Then there's the 'lost dad makes finally communicates to adult protagonist - but not REALLY'-stuff.

The whole core theme of Liar, Liar is here. A successful, ruthless, super-skilled businessman is at the top of his game, JUST about to make partn.. I mean, have his name on a plaque of some kind (what the heck is THAT all about?), which would mean he's going to be rich for the rest of his life. But 'neglected family' interferes, together with some other 'supernatural' thing - in Liar, Liar, it was the spell, here, it's supernaturally guided penguins.

How the HECK would a bunch of penguins be able to find Popper in some gala event, and how would they really be able to travel unnoticed and uncaught there and back, AND cause all that havoc without any consequences?

"Spoilers", though a turd can hardly be spoiled, can it?

The friggin' FLYING stuff near the end - that's where I couldn't take it anymore. It's WAY more 'fantasy crap' and harder to believe than a magical spell, a wish that would make someone not able to lie for a whole day. Or a kid that wouldn't be entertained by a new video game or a toy endlessly, but instead yearns to be with his dad all the time (talk about clingy).

This movie is what would happen, if you combined Contact with Liar, Liar, but took ALL the good stuff out, and pumped inane hollyweird clichés in its stead.

SO many clichés, SO many implausibilities, stupidities .. how is the apartment not full of penguin poop after the first hour of the penguins' visit? Why do the other penguins move quickly immediately, but it takes a long time for the first penguin to even 'wake up'? Is it really plausible or safe to SEND penguins as cargo like that? Were there even air holes? Why were the crates filled with blue light and some kind of gas (I am guessing dry ice - which would be dangerous for the penguins anyway)? Why couldn't Popper just POP the penguins back into the crate they escaped from, close the crate, put some zoo address in there, and have the problem solved that way?

The ending about 'You shouldn't sell' - 'I wasn't going to sell' is SO Liar, Liar, when the lawyer finally realizes he shouldn't have won the case and wants to revert the sentence so the kids could have a good home, and so on -- it's the exact, same gimmick. The salesman realizes he shouldn't have tried to buy it, because he would just destroy it, and the evil businessmen he worked for, would definitely blahblah.

The same, exact, rehashed, crappy plot. If it wasn't for Jim Carrey's jokes and improvisations, even "Liar, Liar" would have been an awfully stupid, clichéic, moronic 'family movie' (whatever that means) - completely dull, banal, boring and predictable.

But for some reason, Carrey doesn't rescue THIS turd. It lacks energy, it lacks motion, it lacks flow. It just sits there, and rots, and gets worse..

..all the while the audience is bombarded with turd and fart jokes, plus "bumping into the wall" jokes, "ow, my balls-jokes" (misandry just won't die.. sigh), and ALL the most predictable cliché crap-dialogue about relationshíts that you have seen already so many times that it's a wonder people's brains aren't already oozing actual cheese at this point.

The implausibilities, of course, do not help. The flying thing was the absolute discrace about this already-crappy-stupidity-filled-cashcow-of-a-rehash.. a penguin dreams of flying (a real penguin would never do that), and in the end, gets to fly. Holy crap is that STUPID! (Yes, it is)

Honestly, I didn't even want to expect stupidity of quite THAT level from even -this- fart-joke-orgy.

Is this what passes off as a movie these days? This would never have been accepted in the eighties. Say what you want about eighties, but at least they made some unbelievably good classics back then. The kids, who are born after the eighties, do not know what they are missing, and I pity them - just in case their parents won't show them the classics, but take them to see THIS tripe.

I heard there was some book about penguins that this stupidity is based on.

All I can ask, is .. WHY?

WHY are there so many penguins? Why penguins in movies anyway? What's with the 'happy feet' crap? Why are there also penguins in other movies? Why are penguins a 'thing' anyway? WHY PENGUINS?? WHY!!

Penguins are ANIMALS. They are not cute, little humans, who can dream of flying and appreciate Charlie Chaplin. They do not make wings. They do not plan future. They should be treated as animals.

But people of this planet have been so disneyfied, that they can't even treat their pet ANIMALS as animals - they deny their pets their animalness, by trying to make them little humans, and then wonder why their dogs and cats develop serious symptoms, and then give them to someone who murders them, because 'they went crazy'. Yeah, I'd go crazy too, if you denied me my most important essence and treated me like something I am not, and didn't fulfill most of my important needs.

People dress up their pets in 'cute' clothes, and 'love' them all the time, but they don't give their pets structure, leadership, or rules, boundaries and limitatons. They don't discipline their pets OR their kids.

And movies like this aren't helping the situation.