terrible, terrible film

How to make a *beep* film:

1. Put Michael Sheen on the poster, despite the fact that you might have well have said it was starring Bruce Willis, James Dean and Grace Kelly cos it starred them just as much as it starred Brian Clough.

2 When your editor has RSI from ctr c ing the same scene; 30 seconds of 5 discordant piano notes interspersed with a low hum sound, as the camera pans over some sodden Welsh hill, insert a new scene; of someone staring at something as if they are wondering whether they have left the oven on.

3. After an hour, have Micheal Sheen take 2 minutes to walk to a house and erroneously hail someone. *THIS IS THE STORY BIT DONE AND DUSTED. RELAX, THE HARD BIT IS OVER*
4. Shoot a horse. *THAT'S A WRAP*
5. Make a trailer which is totally unrepresentative of the film.
6 ????
7 PROFIT