Some of my personal favorites were
"Ask not what your country can git-r-done for you, ask how this hillbilly moron made $30 million last year!" - Jeffrey Ross
"Everybody sucked so bad that I think I'm gonna put them in my next movie." - Larry the Cable Guy
"What's so funny with you people? Do any of you know who I am? Seriously, tell me, because I don't." - Gary Busey
maureen mccormick saying how larry the cable guy sold his soul to satan
jokes about jeff foxworthy being gay
"meeting gary busey is like having sex- you don't want to do it alone"- jeff foxworthy
"*beep* you you white liberal *beep*
share
"It's like shooting fish in a Cracker Barrel" - Jeff Ross
"If your family tree has a rope hanging from it, you might be a redneck" - Warren Sapp
"even though you look like Shrek if he grew up in South Central" - Maureen McCormick
"he's (Toby Keith) a good buddy of mine and a true American. His blood is red, his picket fence white, and his last album blew." - Larry The Cable Guy
"my real cable guy Donald is funnier than you" -Jeff Ross
share"You stand at the vanguard of the deep-fried da da movement. That's where you live, that's your address." -Gary Busey to Larry The Cable Guy
shareGet out of my country you camel jockey, wetback ,faggy, spook jew!
shareForget who said it but something about Lisa Lampanelli being just like the octomom "they've both had 80 fingers in her at once"
share"you should invent a new character your fans will never meet like larry the dentist or larry the high school diploma" -giraldo
pretty much everything maureen mccormick said. she started out real weak and i felt awkward then she just picked up steam and i literally thought she was the funniest set
"You know you're important in this industry when Bill Engvall takes the time to send a tape."
I AM NOT MONTEL WILLIAMS.
oh, hell. Giraldo was just so transparently MEAN. There's usually an undercurrent of love with these jokes, but it really seemed Giralod DID.NOT.LIKE.HIM.
but g-damn, his line to "you're like Fonzie with Spina Bifida" was awesome, because you know those two are friends.
That, and the line about "you've been inside more animals than Purina" floored me. The "Gravy-sweating cousin-f'er" was just icing on the cake.