MovieChat Forums > Rid of Me (2011) Discussion > The one jaw dropping event that makes th...

The one jaw dropping event that makes this unwatchable (Spoilers)


When Meris gets dumped and divorced within what seems like just a couple of months of moving to Mitch's home town, what does she do? She has complained since day one that she doesn't feel comfortable there and that no one likes her. Not that I really blame them. Meris, for whatever reason, just can't seem to put together a complete sentence. There is nothing charismatic about her that draws these new people in. Yes she's paranoid and insecure but who cares. Get over it and reach out . Be friendly. Anything.

I felt zero sympathy or compassion for her during the first half of the movie, and that was before she got drunk and completely insulted one of the couples, which put a nail in the coffin of EVER surviving in that town.

So back to my original question, what does she do when she gets dumped? She STAYS IN THIS TOWN THAT SHE HATES AND WHERE EVERYONE HATES HER. She's only been there a couple of months and has absolutely no reason to stay. Why didn't she go back to CA? That made no sense and just made me want to throw a pillow at her.

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I was guessing she stayed because she still had hope for her and Mitch. Every time I saw them together though she was the one doting on him, never him doting on her so I think their relationship was more of her for him and once they moved back to his home, their relationship was doomed. I also thought that maybe she didn't have any money to get back home. I felt bad for her since the beginning because Mitch's friends were awful people and from the moment they welcomed them in the apartment you could tell they didn't like her or even want to get to know her.

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kc, I think you hit the nail on the head. She had a hope he would return to her. She had the picture of them on the wall. Then she colored over it, only to eventually erase the marker. So, yeah, she had a real hope they would be together again.

If you're not responding to me, "reply" to the post you're responding to. kthanks.

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I agree with the OP. Meris has to be one of the strangest heroines in the history of cinema. I realize this isn't a very mainstream film and is likely to be seen by about 1000 people worldwide, but still....her character definitely bugged me.

I don't understand why the director made his central figure so....unlikable. She is overly mousey, weak, sensitive, and just plain bizarre. Her 'transformation' into a riot grrrrl is odd, just because it doesn't seem like she'd even go there. The character is not set up to make that kind of transition, based on what we have seen. It's not a logical jump, even out of desperation....because the director doesn't show her motivation at all. It's a pretty poorly directed film, because everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) comes out of left field and there's no logical connection between scenes.

If you have been watching and paying attention, as the OP mentioned in this thread, there's no way Meris would have stayed to face more humiliation and rejection. She was terrified of those people and the situation and to stay makes no sense, except to continue the film.

Also, though we despise Meris, her hubby's friends are way, way too hostile to her...inexplicably so. Meris, besides being boring, doesn't do anything from the get-go to draw their ire. It is just the director, having no idea of subtlety and no idea of how to get from point A to point B.

In any case, one of the oddest films I've ever seen....very amateurish, though daring also, in a very very screwed up way.

Defies description.

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the director has a thing for difficult and/or unlikeable heroes - if you think meris is odd compare her to scotty from film geek.

what i don't find odd is that she stayed in town. she's extremely low energy/depressed to begin with, doesn't have money, a car, or any prospects. there's probably nothing in california for her to go back to, since mitch was her whole world and he's not there now. he's still in town and she's obviously not quite over him. she doesn't run into the gang on a frequent enough basis for her to need to bail out, so why not stay?

besides, it's not like they have the budget to do multiple locations, or much of a story if she leaves :)

the riot grrrrl thing...trudy is the first person to seem to like her at all. as you say, meris is weak so just goes with the flow in her own milder, awkward sort of way. she's still more comfortable gardening than clubbing.

cmon now, isn't it a bit contradictory to say we despise meris but say the high school gang is inexplicably hostile? you've got that feeling about her, why shouldn't they? but they don't give her enough thought to be hostile to her - she almost doesn't exist to them. that's more painful to watch than active meanness.

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As I said, Meris' behavior is more bizarre and boring, but while that inspires disgust from the audience (since we want a heroine we can relate to), it shouldn't invite pure hostility and hatred from her husband's friends, right?

I don't know who the director hangs out with, but if I were married, surely my friends would try to make a real effort not to be disgusting to my spouse, no? I am simply saying, the behavior of Mitch's friends is not realistic in the slightest and comes off as too forceful. I see what the director was trying to achieve, but I think those scenes are clumsy and way too telegraphed. They are simply uncomfortable to watch, and not just because of the subject matter. Those scenes are almost cartoonish in the level of animosity directed towards Meris.

As for "Film Geek", I haven't seen it or "Auteur" but I will keep a lookout, as I recall seeing them pop up on cable.

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having thought about it a bit more, aren't the most hostile-seeming scenes shown from meris's point of view? now i'm wondering if those were meant to be real, or just her extremely gloomy interpretation of the situation.

mitch's friends are also way over the top with their welcoming him back to the fold. everything about them is exagerrated.

oh well, guess i'll have to see it again. i wonder if i know anybody else i could inflict this on... :)

auteur isn't on netflix anymore (alas!), but i like it so much i'd pay full price for the dvd (and it looks like i'll have to, as the used market for it is pretty tight). film geek still was, last i looked.

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I think the way Mitch's friends were portrayed was realistic because I have been in similar situations where people really do act like that.

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[deleted]

I respectfully disagree with your entire post. I'm not sure if you've ever been or felt like an "outsider" but I found Meris to be totally relatable. I'm a minority who went to a very white, preppy private school and I had a lot of the same feelings Meris had when she met Mitch's friends--just these totally alien creatures who think, act, and speak in a completely foreign way that you have no idea how to start relating to them. And they certainly didn't go out of their way to be welcoming or gracious towards her. There were six of them and one of her. If they had any ounce of compassion or empathy, they would've made more of an effort.

And it makes sense to me that she stayed in that town. If you've ever been through a terrible breakup and gotten dumped, you usually have a hope (no matter how ridiculous that hope is) that the other person will change their mind and want to be together again. You hold on to every last shred of hope there is. That's why I think she stayed in Oregon (and financially, she probably didn't have the means to pick up and move just yet. She was working at a candy store, after all).

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[deleted]

> It is just the director, having no idea of subtlety and no idea of how to get from point A to point B.

Amen. All the characters were caricatures of high school types, yet they appeared to be 30 or so years old. Very exaggerated and unrealistic. So she went from being a sop to some sort of hipster punk. But there was no real person under any of these facades, nothing showing through. I felt the film very empty. Nice looking in many ways, but that was it.

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I completely disagree. My ex-husband and I broke up due to his making a bunch of new friends who acted exactly like Mitch's friends in this movie acted. You'd be surprised at how many 30-40-year-olds act like spoiled teenagers. I've met many.

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>You'd be surprised at how many 30-40-year-olds act like spoiled teenagers. I've met many.

Guess being a misanthropic hermit is on point, then, and has some fringe benefits. I'm sorry there is a real world like the one in the film.

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There so is, I work with people in their 40s-50s and I'm one of the youngest. I feel like I never left highschool, they get into clique fights and they pretty much act like Mitch's friends. It's really sad

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Mitch's friends wanted him back with his ex the entire time. There was no hope for Meris. Yes she was awkward and could barely talk but sometimes people's self esteem gets so low that they get like that. Also maybe she stayed because she didn't have the money to move. Ever think about that? For God sake, she is living is a tiny crappy apartment, working in a little candy shop. Mitch looks like he's living with his new girlfriend's creepy mom. In the end Mitch leaving was the best thing to happen for her, she got her self respect back.

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They were completely unfair to her. They never gave her a chance, and all that awkwardness boiled over double time due to this, creating one disaster after another. I loved this character SO much; the only thing I would've changed was to see her maintain some sort of dignity every time she ran into Mitch and his gf. Other than that, I was completely on her side!

Excuse me--ya'll lookin' for a dead body??

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I got the idea she was kind of dumped and left to her own devices, so had to get a job and place to live fairly quickly and figure things out. Then once she got the job and bonded with Trudy and made some friends, she didn't want to leave. Also she had that garden that meant so much to her at that point ...
But reading other posts here, she may have wanted to try to get back with Mitch, as well as shoving it in his face, later, that she had a new life and had gotten over him.

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I hated the husband so much I had to keep pausing the movie because the need to throat punch him kept distracting me. I absolutely sympathized with her but there were a few times I was hoping she'd pull herself up by her bootstraps more vigorously and give Mitch and his hideous friends a good slap.

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I honestly think we are meant to see this all through her eyes, and she is an unreliable narrator. Not only is it possible that her husband's friends' behaviour wasn't as awful as it seemed, but her own reaction to social situations might not have been as awkward and jarring.

A lot of people have claimed she was an introvert, and she seemed to be one. However, introversion wasn't the reason she was as awkward as she was. She seemed to have some sort of social anxiety issues. As her self-esteem improved, so did how she handled interacting with people. Through that anxiety, not only the friends' behaviour was filtered, but Meris' reaction as well. Socially awkward people tend to think they handle social situations worse than they actually do, and this compounds the aversion and clumsiness.

However, I don't think we should let the husband's friends off the hook. Moving house a stressful time, and long distance moves are the worst. Meris' whole life was uprooted, and things like a surprise welcoming party is a hugely awful idea. Even viewing their actions in a positive light and recognising there might be more that we aren't seeing or understanding, I think the friends had no intentions of befriending Meris or respecting the couple's relationship.

Not all the characters were stock characters. Several of the minor characters seemed to be realistic. The distortions seemed to be the most obvious where Meris invested the most emotion.

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I could totally relate to her. Her husband's friends were such disgusting people. I clinched every time his cell phone rang, knowing she would have to hang out with those people.

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