The Cheating!

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I think the movie makes some careful points about why Stijn cheats, and the novel even more so. The emotions involved in it are quite complex.

In the beginning, Stijn explains that he is incapable of monogamy, because he simply loves women too much. It is his character flaw: where other men pick their noses, he simply cheats. He has a sort-of silent agreement with Carmen about this; she seems semi-okay with his extra-marital affairs, as long as she doesn't find out about them. The 'oath' they took at their marriage is more of a formality, lots of couples with an open relation make it without the intention of sticking to it.

Later on, it turns out that Carmen has cancer and may die. She is the patient, who demands and receives all the attention. Stijn feels miserable about this; it is something he is also confronted with, without ever having asked for it. His life changes just as abruptly as Carmen's, so he is just as much a victim of the cancer as she is. He goes through a similar process of grief and sorrow, but instead of fear of death, he lives with the fear of losing his wife and having to go on without her one day. Stijn looks for recognition of these feelings and emotions, but people around him seem to think that he should not complain, since he is not the one who is dying. Roos satisfies his sexual needs, but more importantly, she understands what HE is going through because she doesn't know Carmen. Also, around Roos, Stijn can feel like himself again, and not like the partner of a cancer patient (so technically, Roos is also Stijn's escape from a reality he refuses to accept).

Another factor which Stijn himself mentions is that Carmen has become a different person since she knows she has cancer and may die. Stijn has come to love her for who she used to be, and that person seems to disappear more and more every day: she even blames him for trying to have fun, which was never a problem before, just as cheating was never a big issue (provided she never learnt of it). Now that she is sick, she has become moody and possessive. Had she changed this much without getting sick, he would probably have left her as well; she no longer displays the traits that made him fall in love in the first place. So basically, the cancer itself has little to do with Stijn's changed feelings for his wife, it is what the cancer does to Carmen. This seems apparent when Stijn rediscovers the love for his wife when Carmen finds her herself and her lust for life again.

Although Stijn cannot be completely absolved of all blame, the movie does offer some insights into his reasons for cheating (the acceptance of which are, of course, very personal for each viewer). He never seems to do it out of malice, ill will or with the intention of hurting someone. I think I could forgive my partner if she had cheated because I had not treated her right, ignored her, or was never around.

Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony - Morpheus

The dude only made up the story to get more girls(when he wrote the book).The movie was just a bonus.