No Way Out 2009 Review

No Way Out 2009 took place on February 15, 2009 at the KeyArena in Seattle Washington. Your hosts are JR/Tazz, Cole/King, and Stryker/Grisham


Match #1

WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match

Edge Vs HHH Vs The Undertaker Vs The Big Show Vs Jeff Hardy Vs Vladmire Koslov


Jeff with a set of clotheslines, but Edge puts him down with a big boot for 2. Edge mocks Big Show, but Hardy hits him with an atomic drop then a low dropkick. Twist of fate and Jeff goes upy, but misses the swanton. Edge sets up for the spear and runs right into a small package and is gone at only 2:59. NOBODIES BUYING THIS!!! Edge acts shocked. Im shocked too that nobody has thought to counter his crappy spear that he has been using constantly since 2001 with a simple small package. Edge will be back guaranteed. Kozlov is in next and he headbutts Hardy and rams him into the cage then does a fallaway slam back into the ring from the grating. Backbreaker gets 2. Kozlov bearhugs him on the mat and elbows him down, but Hardy dropkicks him into the corner and follows with the mule kick. Whisper in the wind and Big Show is released from his pod. The heels take turns beating Jeff, trying to show eachother up. Vlad attacks Show with a headbutt and they brawl. HHH is in and he gives Vlad a high knee then a spinebuster on Show. HHH sends Kozlov into the cage and tries the Pedigree out there, but Show breaks it up. Show gets a sideslam for 2. Meanwhile, Kozlov drops elbows on Hardy. HHH escapes a chokeslam, but walks into a press slam. Show runs him into the cage and avalanches him against it, then runs Hardy into HHH. He tries to squash them both but they dodge and he eats the chain/mesh. HHH and Hardy team up with a double vertical suplex on Kozlov. Undertaker is in and he destroys everyone. He gives Kozlov an ugly snake eyes then follows with the big boot, then hits Hardy and HHH with corner clotheslines. Show attacks him and Taker comes back with a DDT on the steel outside the ring. Kozlov drops him with a headbutt and he hasn't watched any of Takers ppv matches from Mania 20 till this day, because doing the 10 punch combo in the corner means your going to get the last ride. Taker follows as expected and Vladmire is pinned at 22:57. HHH recovers and tries to Pedigree Show but he gets backdropped to the steel grating. Hardy climbs to the top of a pod but Show pulls him down from underneath and he's crotched. Undertaker brings Show down with a superplex. HHH pedigree then a swanton from Jeff and HHH pins Show at 26:09 Hardy misses whisper in the wind on Undertaker then HHH and UT slug it out in the corner. Taker goes Old School on Hardy, but HHH brings him down to break it up. Hardy hits HHH with a plancha, but Undertaker tombstones Hardy and pins him at 28:28. Taker charges and crotches himself in the corner, and HHH rams him into the cage, but Taker comes back with the chokeslam. Taker with snake eyes, but runs into the spinebuster and HHH gets 2. HHH sends him into the cage and tries a Pedigree, but Taker catapults him into the cage to counter and they counter eachothers tombstone attempts before Taker gets it. HHH's foot is on the ropes. Pedigree gets 2. HHH is an idiot because he goes ahead and tries the 10 punch in the corner like Vlad and countless others and eats the last ride. Is it obvious yet that Undertkaer doesn't have the muscle anymore to do the last ride himself without needing a prep spot? HHH does escape it though and hits the pedigree to get the gaudy belt back at 35:55. Good stuff. 4 stars.


Edge wines backstage and Vickie says he's outta luck. Why doesn't he just beat up a jobber in the next elimination chamber match and take their place? Theyve got 3 of them to pick from!


Match #2

No Holds Barred Match

Randy Orton Vs Shane McMahon


They expect us to give two ****'s about the McMahon family? We just got done watching Vince and his bastard son try to destroy Michaels then ruin the ECW title, and Orton's an a$$hole anyway, so I have no interest in watching this crap. Shane's so serious that he's doing his mid 30's teenager entrance dance to the ring. Shane attacks but Orton pounds him into the corner. Shane sends Orton to the floor and a baseball slide. Shane brings out a table and garbage can, but Orton gets a neckbreaker. Orton with a backdrop suplex and he pulls a turnbuckle pad off and whips Shane into it. Shane finds a kendo stick and slaps Orton around with it. Shane preps the Smackdown table then hits Orton with a monitor. Shane goes up and Orton's bitches show up and mug him. Course Shane fights them off because he's the uncrowned champion of the WWE. Shane gives Rhodes the shane terminator which looked fake. Shane tries to drop the elbow on Orton, but misses and goes through the announce table instead. Orton brings Shane back in then a DDT, for 2. Orton sets up the table and puts Shane on top, and a superplex through the table. That gets 2. How unrealistic can you get, even by pro wrestling standards? Orton tries the soccer kick of death but Shane spears him and uses a chair to come back. Shane goes for the rugby kick but RKO ends it at 18:16. Way too long. Ill be nice and go 1 star.


Match #3

ECW Championship Match

Jack Swagger Vs Finlay w Hornswoggle


Finlay takes him down and works the leg. Finlay runs into the corner and misses. Swagger works on the arm, and a shoulderbreaker gets 2. Swagger stays on the arm. Finlay gets a rollup for 2. They fight up top then back down. Finlay slugs him down and goes up with a flying bodypress for 2. Finlay with some clotheslines and a butt splash for 2. Swagger runs Finlay into Hornswoggle and gets his gutwrench powerbomb, one of my favorite backyard wrestling moves from 91 for the pin at 7:53. Ill go 2 stars. They should of kept the last tear jerker shorter and given this it. Plus it was cheap running the worlds toughest irishman into his midget son to gain advantage.


Match #4

Emancipation Match

JBL wins and he gets copyrights to Shawn Michaels. We will never know if that included a cut of the porn stars living. Shawn punches JBL and he bails. Shawn tries a sunset flip but and JBL sits down for 2. Shawn with a backslide for 1 and JBL clotheslines him down and drops an elbow for 2. Shawn goes to the knee and a quick figure four, but JBL is in the ropes. Shawn tries the crossface but JBL rolls it over for 2. Shawn gets roped into the corner and out. JBL brings him back in for the elbows for another 2 count. Short arm clothesline gets 2. JBL slugs away in the corner and the bearhug. Shawn fights out and gets a neckbreaker and a pair of atomic drops. JBL fires back and puts Shawn on top, but Shawn blocks the superplex and knocks him down. Flying elbow misses and JBL hits the clothesline from dow jones for 2. Another one puts Shawn on the floor, but he is in at 9. JBL tosses him out again and badmouths Rebecca Michaels and she slaps him. Shawn wakes up and goes nuts. Flying forearm, flying elbow and sweet chin music end it at 13:17. Ill go 2 1/2 stars.


Match #5

World Championship Elimination Chamber Match

John Cena Vs Chris Jericho Vs Rey Mysterio Vs Kofi Kingston Vs Mike Knox


Kofi is the lucky winner tonight to receive the bitch jobber treatement as Edge runs him into the steps and a conchairto ends his night early. Edge goes and hides in a pod like a nut that is holding up in his house with a gun and refuses to leave. Rey wants to kick his ass but can't get at him. Jericho and Rey start. Jericho takes Rey down with a headlock, but Rey monkey flips him and sets up for the 619. Too early but Rey somersaults into him and into the cage. Rey misses a blind charge and hits the post. Jericho with a suplex for 2 and goes to a chinlock. Rey fights up and Chris tries to catapult him into the cage, but Rey grabs on like Arachniman and jumps off with a rana. Ass canonball for 2. Kane is released and hands them both their asses then stops to slap on Edges pod who looks like he's gonna **** himself any moment. Kane rams Rey's knee into the steel walkway then Rey attacks Kane from behind and baseball slides him, but Kane pounds him down. Rey fights both Kane and Jericho, but Kane goes for a chokeslam. Rey reverses that to a 619 on Kane and Jericho hits Kane with the codebreaker. Rey with the whoopie cushion and pin at 9:37. Mike Knox is next and he hammers both guys. Jericho backdrops him out of the ring, but tries a bodypress and gets rammed into the cage. Rey dives at Knox, but he goes into the cage too. Knox clubs down Rey then eats a codebreaker and he's out at 14:42. That was useless. Edge is next and he can't get out of the pod before Rey jumps in after him and smacks the crap out of him. Rey sets him up for 619 but Jericho cuts him off. Jericho with a bulldog on Edge but the lionsault misses. Edge o matic gets 2 on Jericho. Edge tries the spear on Rey, but misses, and Jericho's codebreaker misses. Rey and Jericho fight to the top, and Edge follows and they do the flip over powerbomb superplex thing and this time it doesn't get a holy **** chant? John Cena is the last man released and he takes down Edge with a belly to belly suplex and Jericho with a fisherman's suplex. Protobomb on Edge then a five knuckle shuffle. He goes for the FU but Jericho gives him the codebreaker then Rey hits 619 and Edge with a spear shocks the hell out of me because Cena is done at 22:22. Was he injured here? Rey fights both heels and gets a rana on Jericho. He ries to 619 both of them But Edge had time to recover so he dodges while Jericho eats alone. Edge posts Rey then. Rey tries the west coast pop and jumps into the walls but he rolls over into a victory roll for the pin at 23:54. Were down to Rey and Edge. Rey dodges a spear and gets a rollup for 2. Bodypress off the top for 2. Edge catches him on a springboard and Rey turns it into a ddt for 2. Tornado DDT gets 2. Edge stops him with a big boot and tries a powerbomb on the steel, but Rey reverses to a facebuster and gets a reverse inverted 619. He charges again and Edge launches him into the pod. Rey drags himself back in and gets speared and pinned. What a shocker.........new world champ at 29:46. Didn't like this one as much as the first. 3 1/2 stars.


Overall Opinion: Elimination chambers were the only thing of worth here.


Final Score: It gets 4.9 stars out of 10.0 stars from me. The storylines sucked all around but the EC matches makes up most of this score.