MovieChat Forums > Humpday (2009) Discussion > What was Ben and Andrew's real motivatio...

What was Ben and Andrew's real motivation?

posted 13 years ago by kuroko
8 replies | jump to latest

I think the movie is very well acted and the actors did a phenomenal job with the material they were given, but I feel that it lacks character development. Their motivation is simply never clear.

Having sex with someone is one thing. Making a porn film is completely devoid of romanticism or intimacy, and it is meant for somebody else to watch and enjoy. That said, the idea was so random and they agreed to do it almost immediately. Was it their love for art? Nothing indicated that either Andrew or Ben had any artistic inclinations at all.

So they could've called it an idea born out of drunken stupor and leave it at that, but they brought it up the next day when they got sober. It seemed that they were employing reverse psychology by trying to get each other to chicken out. So they did want something after all, but what was it? Sex? If that were the case, they never even discussed how they're going to do it or the things they want to do. All they know is that they can't be romantic with each other. The "Pretty Woman" reference serves as proof: no kissing.

Was the writer implying that they were secretly attracted to each other? That seems to be the suggesting with the many up-close shots that focus on Andrew and Ben's body language when they are near each other (e.g. playing basketball).

Did Andrew and Ben really have an unfulfilled relationship that dates back to their college days? Nothing says so. They've hardly seen each other in years; if they were such close friends, how come Ben never mentioned him to his wife and she barely remembers him from their wedding?

As for Andrew's issues with not finishing things after he starts them, what does Ben have to do with that? Apparently they planned a road trip that never happened, so why not doing it instead if they want to reconnect? So maybe Andrew's real regret is being attracted to Ben and not taking their relationship to another level when they had the chance.

Was Ben unhappy in his marriage? We know from the opening scene that this isn't the case. What's even weirder is that, once she finds out about their plans, neither Ben or his wife consider it "cheating"? She begrudgingly lets him off the hook because she felt guilty about kissing somebody else years ago. Kissing somebody while being drunk does not equate to having sex with somebody else in full sobriety, so how could she ever be okay with it?

Ben tells his wife that he needs to explore something that he doesn't really know what it is, so this hints at Ben corresponding Andrew's feelings. However, the writer shoots down this "mutual attraction" theory when Ben tells the story about the video store clerk and admits that he can't think of a man in a sexual way. Andrew then claims that he's never being attracted to any man.

Yes, it does bother me that "nothing" happens between them because they realize that there is no reason to do it, and they don't feel anything for each other. But why all the contradictory statements? More importantly, what wisdom did they gain from this realization? Ben probably goes back to living his "ordinary" life with his perfect wife, while Andrew stays single without changing his streak of not finishing what he starts. Did they grow from an experience that they really didn't have?

Maybe if they had decided to go for it, but chose to turn the camera off first. That would've been a more fitting ending.

intrepid/stupid

[–] tw-162-891100 13 years ago

I see this film as more of a documentary style game of make believe. If two regular guys were in this situation, uncertain of who they've become, surrounded by artists and women they want to impress, wanting to prove something to each other and thus themselves, how might they respond? Do all people think through WHY they are doing things? Don't people sometimes act like they care about something because they think they are supposed to? Don't we fool ourselves into believing something is important when we're really just protecting our egos sometimes? I find the ending heartfelt and touching because in the make-believe universe of Ben and Andrew that continues to exist after we stop watching the film, where they both grow old, searching for their true selves as they actualize (if they're lucky), both men are going to have to ask themselves all of the things you've asked in your comments here, kuroku. I think it's very human to get swept away, realize you can't go through with it, and not even really understand any of the WHYs all the while... until years later when you look back with a new perspective, perhaps... if you're lucky.

[–] kuroko 13 years ago

Thanks for your reply.

I agree that many times we all do things without thinking through why we do them, nevertheless, I don't think people in real life would make the same choice that Ben and Andrew did, unless they had a good reason.

What did Andrew and Ben want? It wasn't money (which is the main reason for straight people to do gay porn) or artistic recognition (it would've been fine if they were artists, but nothing in the movie suggests it); nor was it sexual gratification (both of them admit that other men do nothing for them) or resolve to an unfulfilled relationship (because they are confident enough to say "I love you" to each other).

So what are they left with? Impressing people that they've known for less than a day? Ben was willing to risk his marriage for that? They're adults in their mid 30s, not high school kids.

All in all, Ben and Andrew are thrown into something that they don't understand or know how to get out of. What started as a joke, becomes a dare, and then evolves to an unavoidable commitment. Was there a good explanation for this? In the end we, along with Ben and Andrew, discover that there is none, as the writer seemingly didn't care to give the characters a motivation that, no matter how illogical, was worth sticking by either. What's more important, no change / wisdom came with this realization. If it did, it took place off screen, as you point out. This shouldn't have been left up to the viewer's imagination, which is why I feel that in the end, they (as well as we, the audience) were cheated out of a resolution.

intrepid/stupid

[–] hickmeister 12 years ago

I think you're looking too hard for a conventional motivation. There was no obvious reward, it wasn't that simple. The characters themselves claim that they dont understand why they want to do it, so I guess it's fair for the viewer to make their own interpretation.

My personal interpretation, that I imagine many other would share, is that they have something to prove.

Ben had the wife, nice house and was approaching fatherhood. This was a sort of 'last hurrah' before the biggest responsibility of all fell upon his shoulders. The first scene with him and his wife being too tired for sex fits well with the old stereotype of older couples losing the flame etc. Ben wanted to prove to himself, and to Andrew (who had taken the artistic, bohemian route) that he was more than just another husband behind a white picket fence. He needed to believe and to show Andrew that marriage isn't as limiting as some may think. Which is why he stays at the party and why assures Andrew his wife will be all cool with them making the movie without even asking her.

In contrast, Andrew wanted to prove that he did fit into the stereotypes of an artist. He felt he had to show that he was more open minded that his friend who had made the 'boring' choices in life. Later, it appeared that Andrew had more been running away from responsibility through life and finally someone had called him up on an artistic endeavour and he was under the pressure to fulfil it.

The friends appear to become competitive with each other, but they're competing against what they see in each other. Ben - married guys can be just as alternative as artists. Andrew - has to separate himself from the conventional by going much further than a 'wife and kids' type of guy would go.

Both are tested before reaching the hotel room and both fail. Ben can't even tell his wife about what he plans to do, proving that he is just as limited as he feared. Andrew couldn't participate in the same sexual activities as the other artist couple, showing that he wasn't quite as alternative as those he liked to mix with.

Trying and failing to make the video shows them that they made their choices in life for a reason. IT helps them to accept who they are. Ben goes back to his wife, Andrew picks up his bag and will continue to roam the globe.

[–] Otkon 12 years ago

I think the motivations are quite simple.

For Ben, he has never been the adventurous type. Andrew comes in talking about learning Ancient Incan hangover cures on tripped-out motorcycle expeditions. They go to the Dionysian party and meet the free-wheeling lesbians. It triggers something in Ben because he becomes adamant about having sex with Andrew. Also remember, Ben is the one that has had homosexual thoughts in the past regarding the video store clerk's testicles. Ben suspects sexuality can be expressed on a case-by-case basis - the right person at the right time regardless of their sex organs. Plus Ben is in the throes of a ho-hum heterosexual relationship that is on the verge of producing biological offspring. If there was ever a time to explore homosexuality, it is before you get mired in the nuclear waste of the nuclear family.

For Andrew, the great explorer, he wants to say he has done it all. He even mentions that he doesn't want to be labelled a fraud because he can't muster up the nerve to be sexually open-minded. And above all, he fancies himself an artist - albeit an artist that never finishes a project. He is thinking of it as performance art and a machismo conquest.

As with many sexual fantasies outside one's comfort zone, the idea and anticipation of the act is far more exciting than the actual deed itself - even for people who are sexually aroused by each other. Also both admit that earlier alcohol lowered their inhibitions and fueled this endeavour. As the adage goes, "The only different between a straight guy and a gay guy is a six-pack of beer."

Sadly, I think they both did feel something for each other. Ben because he has had feelings like that in the past. Andrew because there is that scene in the hotel room after Ben leaves where the camera tilts down to Andrew's crotch then up to his deeply-disappointed face.

It is good that the movie leaves so much unstated and open.

[–] HaddonfieldMemorial 11 years ago

If you ask me they were both frauds and didn't know it. Andrew fancied himself as an artist with a free spirit and has done nothing to prove or show for it and calling himself an "artist" probably sounds better than "drifter" or "a bum who crashes on couches". The problem with people like Andrew is that they feel they have to travel the world and live such a "non-traditional" life and be as non-conformist as they can so they can leave behind an artificial legacy. Sure, that lifestyle might look like fun for a while but what do you have to show for it never being in one place and not really having any long-lasting relationships? That sounds really empty and lonely. Look at the people Andrew befriended who thinks the biggest thing to worry about is how to make porn "art films" instead of just being the porn films that they are just so they can be comfortable with watching them. That's a bit selfish and a big waste of time that's like me and some other losers trying to change the name of the color red to something like "shibooka" or something because it would sound more "festive" meanwhile Andrew's hippy friends wouldn't be caught dead going on 3 day cancer walks or doing anything that might make a difference to humanity.

Ben on the other hand was lying when he told Andrew "I'm not a people pleaser" when that's exactly what he is. When he arrives at the hippy house he shortly calls his wife to inform her that he's with Andrew and he's met some people there that are "different" from him (and her) but that he won't stay long and that he'll be home for dinner but once he hangs up the phone he's checking himself out in the mirror and trying to look "less presentable" to fit in and when he does that you just know right then and there that he won't be coming home and if he does it'll be very late. Andrew then makes an off-color remark about having sex with Ben and not to be out-done he calls Andrew on his bluff and says he'll do it without really thinking about it. I think Ben was hoping Andrew would've drank so much that he would've forgotten all about it the next day. Ben isn't honest with his wife when he's discussing Andrew and the "art film" project which leads us to believe he would've had sex with Andrew without even telling her which is quite the contrary to what he said to Andrew as if he could talk to her about anything. That dinner he made was pathetic, he wasn't doing it to be nice or be a good husband but as a way to soften the blow. It's like a teenager cleaning the house and being on great behavior, going above and beyond to help your mother but only doing so because report cards are coming out next week and you're failing everything. It's deceitful.

They're both immature and acted like "wussing out" was going to make each other look bad, to who? Were they planning on telling their other friends about it? I don't think they had the same mutual friends or ran in the same circles and even if they did I just can't imagine either of them saying "dude Andrew/Ben wussed out of having sex with me, can you believe that?" Friend: "uhhhh....what?" They completely acted like 12 year olds and Ben's wife should leave him and save herself. I can understand sewing your wild oats as a teenager or in college but once you're married and in your mid 30s and trying to start a family it's a different story. I wouldn't want to be friends with either one to be honest.

[–] aquarius2285 11 years ago

They both are clearly dealing with repressed homosexuality. Regardless of their individual issues and the fact that they made a bet while drunk, I do not believe that two straight guys, after they have sobered up, would choose sex with one another, as their "art" project.

[–] CoSMiGoNoN 9 years ago

I'm sorry but I'm not buying that two straight men would ever do gay porn just because. I'd dare say it has never happened in the history of the world.

[–] Seth_Rogue_One 7 years ago

I think that both were always bi-curious and perhaps had had unspoken romantic feelings for eachother, but in the end they didn't want to ruin the married guys marriage and very potentially their friendship just to satisfy a curiousity that might been a bad idea anyways.

There was definitly a look of disappointment from the bearded guy once the married guy had left and it was called off.

I got keys coming from overseas! T.I.P. Syke