Things I Learned from 'Ice Twisters'

1. When you find a potentially dangerous or deadly object in a field, you should just reach down and touch it before identifying it.

2. When a person you've never met writes a book with the same plot you've been thinking about using, you should accuse them of stealing your idea.

3. Unmanned aerial drones have an unlimited capacity to stay airborne.

4. In a tornado, tents will last longer than SUVs.

5. Government bureaucrats are evil. They'll keep a runaway scientific project going despite death and destruction just to keep it going.

6. The news is never closed.

7. The US Navy still uses F-14s.

8. All government research projects will be hijacked by evil bureaucrats to create a weapon. In fact, that's the entire purpose of government-funded scientific research, to create weapons...even projects funded by the cute puppy agency.

9. In times of scientific crisis, turn to science fiction authors for the solutions to problems and for leadership. Theoretically, their solutions will work and the experienced scientists will need to be told what to do.