MovieChat Forums > Make the Yuletide Gay (2009) Discussion > Was anyone else disturbed by the ending?...

Was anyone else disturbed by the ending? (spoilers)

posted 14 years ago by DarkOblivion
21 replies | jump to latest

I think we would all agree that the intention behind the ending of the film is supposed to be positive. But it really rubbed me the wrong way. Here are my reasons:

1) Gunn's parents reveal that they suspected he was gay at least since his second year of high school, yet they continued to assume he was straight. Assuming a child is straight is probably the single most contributing factor to staying in the closet for so many years. It sends the message that you expect the child to be straight, so the child becomes apprehensive about talking about it. This made me see the parents in a rather negative light at this point in the film.

2) Similarly, it really bothered me when the father said "You just showed what kind of man you are by being honest with us", almost as if the burden were completely on his son. I mean, sure, it is ultimately the son's responsibility to reveal his sexuality when he's ready, but it is also the responsibility of a parent to create an environment in which a child is comfortable with being himself. And ultimately I think the parents failed in that area.

3) After learning that her son is gay, the mother tells him to go put on some "real" clothes, at which point he goes to his room and comes out with some stereotypical "gay" clothing. I found this to be over-the-top and just leveraged stereotypes unnecessarily.

All and all, definitely not a poor film. I enjoyed it. The ending just didn't sit well with me at all.

Did anyone else have this reaction?

[–] johnnyfaith 14 years ago

Yes this was my point in my post, "why do mothers do this to us?"

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[–] groovymike_16 14 years ago

I agree it was annoying that he had to change into stereotypical gay clothes. But mostly I was annoyed by the makeout session in front of his parents. A nice kiss would have been fine, but they went overboard. I would never get all hot and heavy with my boyfriend in front of my parents. I don't even see straight people doing that. This was definitely a valid point as I let my boss watch it and she said the same thing to me without me even mentioning I thought that.

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[–] jgrv-1 9 years ago

But mostly I was annoyed by the makeout session in front of his parents. A nice kiss would have been fine, but they went overboard. I would never get all hot and heavy with my boyfriend in front of my parents.

I read comments about the kiss before I actually saw the movie. To me it didn't seem overboard, more like the kind of "you may kiss the bride" moment you see at most weddings.

[–] moviegeek1 14 years ago

I just watched this last night--enjoyed it too--and I have to say that you make some valid points. I do take issue with one of them though.....

1)I think that the film was trying to illustrate that when it comes to having a gay child, a lot of parents know before they know. I don't think that Gunn's parents assumed that he was straight. I think that they just went along with his pretense and didn't want to rock the boat with him, so to speak. I think a lot of parents do that for fear of upsetting the child if they are wrong. Most parents are not going to confront a child about his or her sexuality, though they may have their suspicions. My biggest issue with the parents was that they were both so silly.

I am in agreement with you on this.....

3)Yeah, the "real clothes" thing bugged the hell out of me too and I just hated the way the characters ragged on him about his supposed "straight" clothes being so bad. I don't think a polo shirt, khakis and a jacket are so terrible. And yes, his "gay" clothes and hair were a bit much. Now that was stereotypical.

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[–] Frumious_Bandersnatch_46 11 years ago

I think you and DarkOblivion both raise some interesting points.

I did not think the parents were "just going along with the pretense" because they kept throwing women at him.

I do think you're right about most parents being reluctant to talk with their children about their sexuality. But where is it carved in stone that the parents couldn't create an environment where their child could feel safe about opening up to them? (This was supposed to 2009, not 1959!) They said they'd suspected since he was in high school. Wasn't that enough time to say at least a few positive things about any LGBT people around them? They were so accepting of him and his boyfriend. Would it be too much of a stretch for the parents to have made friends with a gay couple or two, way back when, if only to give him a hint that he'd not be rejected and disowned for coming out?
[Sorry. Getting off the soap box now.]

And what possible positive take-away could there be about the parents betting on their son's sexuality — or was it just on his coming out? Either way, there's no good done by this.

I also agree that the parents were too silly for words. Mom with her constant barrage of scrambled platitudes and her obsessive holiday preparations; and Dad constantly so stoned that first you wonder how he keeps his professorship, then you begin to wonder how he can find his own tush with both hands and a search warrant.

I further agree with the overdone kiss (mentioned elsewhere) and with the "real clothes" bit. That did a LOT to dispel the stereotype, didn't it? Where's the happy medium? Yes; there are gay men like that. But not all — not even a majority.

And yet — in spite of all that silliness — I really liked this movie.

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[–] MSUPchan 14 years ago

I was actually bothered by the parents' revelation that they suspected him of being gay for stereotypical reasons "drama club" comes to mind...

Still, I don't think the director intended any harm and wanted to show something like "oh look his parents still love him" - but you're all right in your complaints, its the subtle subtext that people fail to read into deeper that perpetuates stereotypes and builds convention.

[–] MikeGrossman34 14 years ago

Didn't anyone expect Nathan to have some closure with his own parents, other than leaving that phone message? I thought something would happen there, but it didn't. This movie was completely flat. It delivered corny lines, typical stereotypes and schmaltz galore!

And what was with the mother's ridiculous over the top upper midwest accent? How many times did she end her sentence with "don't cha know"? Anyone recognize the dad from softcore gay porn?

[–] RToddNash 14 years ago

Closure of sorts was given during the closing credits when Nathan's mom says they should be ready to set an extra place setting next Christmas, foreshadowing her coming around about her son's homosexuality.

[–] MikeGrossman34 14 years ago

I guess I missed that. By the time the credits started, I couldn't wait to shut it off. So so bad.

[–] The_Dying_Flutchman 14 years ago

It made me want to put a pipe up my butt until I screamed.

"What is the sound an imploding pimp makes?"
Alonso Semple McFlondheim

[–] Frumious_Bandersnatch_46 11 years ago

That scene was inserted into the middle of the closing credits.

You think the movie's over and you're halfway out the door;
And, boy, do you feel stupid when they start to talk some more!

[–] dfenn777 11 years ago

"Didn't anyone expect Nathan to have some closure with his own parents, other than leaving that phone message? I thought something would happen there, but it didn't"

You didn't stay with the movie into the credits. Nathan's mother listens to the message and remarks that they will have to make some more place settings for Christmas dinner next year.

[–] SoleilScorp 14 years ago

How about the fact that Gunn's ex-girlfriend transformed within seconds to a supposed slut AND decided she was down the gay couple?
1) Totally wrong actress for the role. The actress was just terrible.
2) Who, in their right mind, thinks it's OK to call all gay man "girl"?

I am a straight female with plenty of gay friends. I never have and never would assume that all homosexuals are OK with stereotypical nicknames. And it's not that I am being sensitive about it, it just doesn't make any sense to do such a thing. It's just not normal for strangers to become that close within seconds.

But, the film was pretty cute and upbeat, so it's fairly easy to ignore the incredibly large number of mistakes.

I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.

[–] TheGoatLizard 14 years ago

She didnt all of the sudden become a crazy slut, she clearly states that her "good-girl" routine was all a ruse because she thought thats what Gunn wanted. So the reason she suddenly showed her true colors was because she realized Gunn was gay so it didnt matter how she acted. And calling them "girl" isnt really a big deal. That was more of just her character/personality. As a gay man I know it, personally, wouldnt bother me if a gal friend called me "girl." I would take it as the girl just being funny. But then again, thats just me.

And as for the clothes thing ppl are upset by, i dont think it was so much "go put on gay clothes" because you'll notice at the beginning Gunn does in fact dress like that normally and he dresses "straight" when he's home. So it wasnt "go put on your gay clothes" it was more "go put on your regular clothes and stop trying to dress "straight"."

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[–] panzer446 14 years ago

I can see what your saying from each of those, but I personally didn't feel that way and didn't really take away those feelings from the ending of the show for each of the reasons (respective to your analysis)

1. When Gunn's parents revealed that they had suspicions since high school, yet they still nagged at him about finding a girl and stuff, I didn't feel that it was them assuming he was straight so much as his mom was trying to coax a confession out of him. I agree that it was a little silly and not exactly great parenting to make a bet on your child's sexuality, but I think that they were being very respectful towards their son in not cornering him and asking him if he was gay and instead were being patient and doing what any great parent would do and allow their son to come to them when he was ready, which is what coming out is all about.

2. I think that the parents did create an environment in which he could be himself. They never showed signs of pushing him to do anything he didn't want to do, noted by the fact that they let him go to a different university from where his father was teaching at. I think that for the most part that working on the student counsel at his school had just enlightened him as to the different possibilities of what could happen had he of told his parents, and he simply got scared of the worst and had forgotten how deep his parents' love for him goes.

3. I think that, judging from looking at Nathan and his great fashion sense, that his mother could tell that Gunn was just putting on a show for his parents and that he wasn't really being himself. And honestly, I think calling his outfit a "stereotype" is a little bit of a crutch if you ask me. I don't see him as being a "stereotype", I see him as dressing the way that he wants to dress without being judged for it, which is what he was finally able to do even in the serenity of his own home. That's what I took away from it, that you can be who you want to be and your parents will still love you, if their good parents anyway, which I think Gunn's parents are.

But anyway, that is just my take on it. Think on it what you may =]

[–] tatararabuga 13 years ago

the whole movie is disturbing. it feels as if they're saying 'see I get the gay thing too! it's all okay, no probs! ' without having any real connection with the storyline (which was very shaky to begin with).
it's like a infomercial that advertises against the product.

www.somewhereinblog.net/blog/tuklifiedblog

[–] Clothes-Off 13 years ago

I'm surprised no one has yet mentioned how OVERUSED the whole "you win the bet" this is.

Remember The Puppy Episode of Ellen? ("Pay up you guys," said Joe.) I've seen it two other times as well.

Then in Another Gay Movie, a mother who's very similar to the mother in this flick says simply, "DUH!".

It's time to retire this predictible gag.

Other than that, I thought it was okay. Fun to watch bitchy Allison Arngrim, liked the pothead father and the double entendres. The other mom was too much (and judging from the extras, she's like that in real life too).

And yes, the female friend trying too hard to be a f-g-hag was tedious. (If someone I'd just met came up and said "Hi bitches", I'd put a stop to it, toot sweet. [sic])

"Well, for once the rich white man is in control!" C. M. Burns

[–] Frumious_Bandersnatch_46 13 years ago

I'm surprised no one has yet mentioned how OVERUSED the whole "you win the bet" this is.

Don't forget "Will & Grace". The episode that flashed back to their college days when Grace took Will to her mother's home. When Will made his announcement, Bobbie Adler hollered to her accompanist in the other room, "I owe you twenty dollars!"

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[–] its-stella-bitch 12 years ago

Why does every gay romantic comedy need a f*g hag? It's really annoying and does nothing for anybody.

[–] Frumious_Bandersnatch_46 12 years ago

I agree completely. Too bad we can't address our remarks to the writer(s).

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[–] Frumious_Bandersnatch_46 11 years ago

I just thought of one without:
The lives and loves of a group of men who frequent a bar called
"The Broken Hearts Club" (2000)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0222850/combined
You may enjoy it. It has quite a cast:
Timothy Olyphant
Zach Braff
John Mahoney
Dean Cain
Chris Wiehl
lots more.

A kaleidoscope of stereotypical characters, not-so-stereotypical characters, fun, sadness, betrayal, angst, comfort, support, and a little softball.

Yes, there are women; I don't recall any of them having been hags.
One couple includes the sister of one of the guys. They want a baby and they approach him to donate for an in vitro procedure so that their baby will be genetically related to them both. Of course, this brother is "that" guy; the one who has to agonize over every decision, every choice must be analyzed right down to the last sub-atomic particle.

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The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar.
It was tense.
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