MovieChat Forums > Prodigal Sons (2008) Discussion > I HATED Marc - spoilers enclosed

I HATED Marc - spoilers enclosed

posted 14 years ago by philafilm
18 replies | jump to latest

I don't often use the word "hate," but that was my first comment to my film group upon our exiting the theatre. I HATED Marc. I even admitted I kinda wished, for the rest of that lovely family's sake, he'd just make it easy on them and go through with his suicide plans. Some members of my film group turned to me in shock and said "that was a documentary, you know... that was a real person," to which I replied: I know. They said: But he couldn't help it that he was violent/insane. I said: But you can't help who you hate. (And besides, there was one clue from the younger brother that it wasn't the car accident that started Marc's flare-ups; it sounded like he'd beaten up on both younger siblings his entire life)

This film really made me look inward on myself and my relationship with my own family. I have a healthy relationship with those who I like as individuals, and the rest I never see or speak to. I don't see the point in forcing something that doesn't come naturally. As a result I've got a tiny and incredibly close-knit family. Quality over quantity. After years of attempting to get along, I feel sometimes it's best to just write people off. I really wish Kimberly had done this with Marc. I couldn't understand why she kept trying. I couldn't understand why she was the only one to visit him at the hospital. I couldn't empathize with her when Marc accuses her of wanting him to die and she vehemently disagrees. Why was she so hell-bent on fixing this relationship? Especially after she HAD written him off in the past, for a decade! He obviously hadn't changed from his former *beep* self.

Few people ignite such a violent reaction within me (I can find good qualities in nearly everyone), I felt compelled to see if anyone else had similar strong feelings.

[–] lovely6 14 years ago

This is not healthy, hating on someone who has an illness. Are you sure you can find good qualities in nearly everyone? I don't think you're familiar with people who suffer from brain damage.

[–] lupe0816 13 years ago

yeah, that " find good qualities in nearly everyone" comment kind of didn't ring true with the rest of the OP's comment. That is what was striking about Kim. I know she was trying to make a good movie, but I do believe she wanted to work hard on this particular relationship. I have heard the OPs opinion before among my own family members about not giving too much away in terms of relationships, but i find that happens when they are having their own problems. eventually they come around and realize the importance of the familial relationship and that relationships aren't always easy but they are necessary for the greater good.

[–] ObstinateAnnette 14 years ago

Marc couldn't help his mood swings and violent temper, as they were the result of his brain injury. I have a family member who had a serious head injury, and while she didn't become violent, she did undergo a complete personality change afterward. It took a lot of adjustments for everyone involved to learn to deal with the new "her".

Family is family, period. Most people don't just write their family members off when the going gets tough. I applaud Kim for her attempts to reconcile her family and make her relationship with Marc a better one.

I need my 1987 DG20 Casio electric guitar set to mandolin, yeah...

[–] mistyrain 14 years ago

If it makes you feel better I think to some extent she maintained contact with Marc during the film for the sake of her documentary after all in the end it really became more about her relationship to him when the transgender s/l wasn't as compelling. However in her defense, I really think she came to understand her brother in a way that she had not before.

[–] SweaterCannons 14 years ago

I read the Details' story about Kimberly Reed (and Marc), and saw her and her mother on Oprah. Definitely an interesting story, however the documentary did nothing for me.

I suppose there's only so much "going back home again" story she could tell, and since the people in Montana were, at least on the surface, accepting, there wasn't a whole lot more (compelling story) there. I am sympathetic to Marc's problems, however, he had behavioral problems before he ever had an accident, so I wouldn't necessarily have wanted to see his story.

Odd, wasn't it, that as big a talker (and ham, going back to their childhood films) as he was, that he clammed up in front of the Croatian documentarian when he was trying to get the story out of him, about how he felt about finding out Rebecca Welles was his mother?

But, to another point, I felt like Kim's anger over Marc showing the old high school photos while they were in Croatia was manufactured, certainly disingenuous, for the sake of creating some drama for the doc. She's angry about those people (who seemed extraordinarily loving and welcoming) seeing her as a boy, while at the same time she's filming a documentary that shows that stuff over and over?

No, despite admiring Kimberly Reed (and her family), I did not like this documentary.

[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] marbleann 14 years ago

THe man had a mental illness caused by a brain injury he had because of a car accident at 21. How callous can you be? You are sicker then he was to think the way you do. How miserable you must be
Oh btw he is dead. But not suicide like you hoped. Once again from the car accident he had nocturnal seizures and he died during the night from one.

[–] Capn_Kirk 14 years ago

After years of attempting to get along, I feel sometimes it's best to just write people off. I really wish Kimberly had done this with Marc. I couldn't understand why she kept trying. I couldn't understand why she was the only one to visit him at the hospital. I couldn't empathize with her when Marc accuses her of wanting him to die and she vehemently disagrees. Why was she so hell-bent on fixing this relationship? Especially after she HAD written him off in the past, for a decade! He obviously hadn't changed from his former *beep* self.

I think this was a classic case of what psychiatrists call "projection." Kim wanted to heal her relationship with Marc because she yearned for his acceptance. Why? I believe it's because she was struggling with self-acceptance. Subconciously Marc's lack of acceptance of her and her choices mirrored her own inner self-doubts and criticisms. On some level she believed that if she could 'fix' Marc's attitude towards her, she'd be validated as a human being, and she'd finally feel 100% good about herself. She actually tips her hand a bit in this regard in the latter part of the film: when Marc has voluntarily commited himself to a mental hospital, she says in the voiceover how weird it was visiting him there, since she's more mentally ill than he is when going by the book. In other parts of the film she acknowledges the awkwardness and discomfort that her new life has frequently caused her. In my opinion that's why so much of the documentary focused on Marc, which at first seemed odd when purportedly the film is supposed to be about Kim.

So maybe you have similar validation issues with people in your family, thus the strong visceral reaction when you witnessed Marc's bad behavior? It's pretty common and I don't think you should feel bad about it; just examine it and learn from it. Nobody can make you feel bad without your permission - just remember that.

"What happens to us in the future? Do we become @ssholes or something?"
- Marty McFly

[–] philafilm 14 years ago

Very interesting thoughts Capn Kirk. I can definitely draw some parallels between these people and my relationship with my own brother (though my family's story is nowhere near as dramatic as this documentary).

Nobody can make you feel bad without your permission - I'm definitely keeping that one close! (Especially when reading insulting replies from some of the other posters on this thread when I was just sharing honest thoughts) I love that.

[–] jboogie 14 years ago

Wow! You are very insensitive to someone who was adopted and had to deal with that hardship, and has medical issues. Shame on you.

[–] zowiewoahie 13 years ago

Easy to say if you have never been tormented. When you have to deal with your life being ruined by someone else you don't really care if they are sane or not. You are still just as affected.