MovieChat Forums > Solitary Man (2010) Discussion > Are 19 year olds that good?

Are 19 year olds that good?

posted 14 years ago by stoleczna14
21 replies | jump to latest

Sure, some are good. From Ben's purely hedonistic point of view, the girls he sleeps with give him large amounts of pleasure and this is worth something, for sure. But is it worth the costs?

Ben had a lot and lost it all because he started chasing young tail (and decided to embezzle money along the way as well). But even after losing everything to the point he can't pay rent, in the final scene he still is not sure that the young girls were not worth it all. His wife offers to take him back. This means no more money problems and he gets the best view in NYC. This means he gets his daughter and grandson back. But Ben is on a fence. How good these 19 year olds must be?

So here is a question:
Since Ben lost so much and still the amount of pleasure he has had makes it worth it all (or at least it is close), shouldn't all men who have less to lose start thinking seriously about doing what he did? Plus, you don't really have to embezzle money in the process. Save the crime that almost landed him in jail, isn't the rest of Ben's behavior look just the best rational thing to do?

Clearly, some guys have more to lose than Ben had. Take Tiger for an example. Or Bill Clinton's cigar. But for the grand majority of, say, 50-year-olds with kids out of the nest, or close to, with a little money, maybe this is the way to go. Maybe guys who don't do it just don't have enough balls, that's all? Maybe this is the natural thing to do? As King James said recently: "LeBron needs to to what's best for LeBron." After all, who can tell a man that pursuing his own happiness is wrong in this country?

I don't know what to think... I guess it depends on how great these 19 year olds can really be. Really.

[–] Defenseman13 14 years ago

Younger women are ALWAYS worth it.

http://us.imdb.com/name/nm2339870/

[–] bruce-129 14 years ago

Very few young beautiful women are pleasant to be around, even for a quick roll in the hay.

From the time they were 12 people fawn all over them and spoil their personalities. I'm just talking statistics, it's not like they are all like that, just the vast majority.

But not only that, but they are not "broken in" yet, so most of squeamish about sex, or do not know how do to it. Just like the daughter, she really did not know why she was doing anything she was doing. Same with Michael Douglas.

Douglas was a sex addict in this movie. Sex was his drug used to escape his life. The more he *beep* things up the simpler his life became and the less he had to do things he did not want to do and felt he should not have to do. It's very hard for someone who has everything to adjust to a life of real work ... I'd have to say that is why there is such a huge kickback by the big corporations against the government ... none of those lazy bastards really want to get a real job or do any work, they just want to rip off the people, even though they do not get that the people don't have any more money because they have sent all the jobs overseas.

This is a movie very much about modern behavioral motifs the way I see it.

[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] sleddawg63 14 years ago

Or maybe looking you in the face would turn them off sex for good.

[–] droche-3 14 years ago

I know. The next morning you can watch "Scooby-Do" with them. And explain the plots....

"When you throw dirt, you lose ground" --old proverb

[–] koffeenkreame41-1 10 years ago

I know. The next morning you can watch "Scooby-Doo" with them. And explain the plots....

LMAOOO!!

"I am the ultimate badass, you do not wanna `*beep*` wit me!"- Hudson in Aliens.

[–] MTulliver 10 years ago

Are they? At least older women have confidence and know what they like, don't like, and aren't shy about it. If they're mature older women, that is.

[–] 10 years ago

[deleted]

[–] mange_malvakt 14 years ago

The only reason men aren't doing this is because men at that age usually can't get with attractive 19 year olds nor do they usually meet 19 year olds in their everyday life so it would be a big hassle to land a girl like that. Being a man I believe a large majority of men that age would take the chance if they got it and the people who wouldn't take it certainly wouldn't pass for moral reasons but more out of insecurity or erectile problems. Yes, men are really that primitive.

I'm talking about young girls in general not your woman's duaghter, I believe most men would pass on that.

[–] The-Kissable-Writer 14 years ago

Yes, most single older men would jump at the chance for no-strings-attached relations with a 19-year old. No, the film doesn't preach this as a lifestyle. Complications such as there are that he has a daughter, much older than 19, and the 19-year old in question is the daughter of one of his girlfriends, for which he may or may not have developed naturally forming parental feelings, depending on how long his relationship with the mother has been going on. I think the film is more about touching the boundaries of the possible: he gets a thrill from getting away with "cheating", both in business as in pleasure. We're brought up believing that evil will not go unpunished and the farther he ventures into the amoral, the more he finds no one seems to detect it. There's a large difference in what people find amoral once they close out the option of getting caught.

The reason he doesn't want to hear back from the hospital (his tests) is because subconciously a lot of young people believe they'll somehow live forever and the character is still very juvenile at heart and in spirit. He even wants to cheat out of death. Now what the film does preach is a kind of karmic payback, even when he stops doing wrong people will still see his actions as malevolent and sleazy, and when he reaches out he finds the people who he deserted, will desert him in turn. It's really all quite well done in under ninety minutes.

O human race born to fly upward, wherefore at a little wind dost thou fall.

[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Eternal1976 13 years ago

Whatever

I'm Eternal1976 and I approve this message.

[–] Slogutis 13 years ago

Holy *beep* you have completely missed the point of this movie. It doesn't question whether or not it's wrong to have sex with someone that's a third of your age. That has nothing to do with it.

He ruined his life with sex. That would be like telling an alcoholic (who has lost his job, his family and his identity by being drunk all the time) that it's all good, cause he is doing what he loves...DRINKING!

In this kind of addicted state you aren't doing what you love either. Drinking yourself retarded day to day isn't the same as enjoying a glass of wine in the evening. Screwing any girl you come across no matter how much it's going to mess up your life isn't the same as say...going to bar as an older single man and spending the night flirting and eventually having sex with a beautiful woman. This was Ben's problem...

He was doing it on impulse and barely even enjoying it. He was doing it because there was nothing else he could do to make him happy day to day. It's no different than an alcoholic pissing his life away. Or a heroin addict getting strung out day after day. After a while it's no longer about "getting high" or "getting laid" it's about getting the *beep* out of reality. If you happen to be like the main character you need this cause you can't deal with bad news....or just with how life naturally progresses.

What's sad is that this is something that 99% of everyone goes through. It just happens at different ages and of course, some people deal with it better. It happened to me. I didn't want to admit I was getting older and finding direction was hard. The way I was living was fine when I was 22 but wasn't working anymore. I had to admit that but couldn't and tried to find any means necessary to escape that reality.

It's a terrible state of mind to be in and I felt bad for the main character. However, I didn't feel as bad as I would for someone that was younger. He should really have been comfortable in his own skin at that age. He also did a lot of bad things but lets face it, people with addictions tend to hurt the ones close to them.

[–] stoleczna14 13 years ago

You are forgetting that he was a "stand-up guy" till he found out about a health risk that he had that could kill him any moment. That's when we desperately wanted to "live" and so he started cooking his business books--stealing money--and chasing tail like a mad man. It is not about addiction to anything. It is about the question: given that we have a short life to live, how should we live it? The movie exaggerates a bit how short life is (vide the health condition) but this is done on purpose to make the point.

So given that life is short, should you chase tail or spend it with one person (Susan Sarandon)?

[–] koffeenkreame41-1 10 years ago

Yeah, that was the theme of this movie. I loved that it had an open ending. I personally think he was going to join Susan Sarandon's character at the end of the film.

"I am the ultimate badass, you do not wanna `*beep*` wit me!"- Hudson in Aliens.

[–] iwritewell 13 years ago

no ... not even a little but here is what they are :
Pretty , soft , easily manipulated , not used to the /heard/ sick of the lies/lines/BS men tell . They are all shiny and new in other words.that was all he really looked for , something that made him feel like he was something else .
He wanted to believe that the women saw him as he was , and was very affected when the daughter of his girlfriend told him that she never didn't see it , wasn't aware that he was old.

[–] anghmho 13 years ago

I was once at a party, many years ago, when the beautiful young creature I was with remarked that she had heard that Paul McCartney was with another band before Wings. My desire went completely limp with that statement.

I also remember, however, how one beautiful young woman thought my singing Frank Sinatra standards after we had made love, which she had never hear before, were so romantic. I felt both lucky and an old fart at the same time.

[–] cindiconners 12 years ago

He was insecure and filled with self-hate. Being with younger women fed his ego and helped him relive the power and invincibility he felt in his youth. Someone mature and secure (like Danny Devito's character) doesn't need to constantly have his ego fed and prefers having a partner who is an equal-a mature, stable, genuinely intimate relationship. The sex was an escape/drug as others have stated.

[–] trisul 12 years ago

"But is it worth the costs? "

In order to answer that question, you first need to answer the big question "what is the purpose of your life". If you find this question absurd, then a roll in the hay with a beautiful young women is all that has any meaning, hence worth any cost whatsoever. However, if your life has a goal or a meaning, you are better of chasing it.

[–] cmp_gr 11 years ago

@ stoleczna14

The matter is completely subjective, so I do not think one can discuss about that.