1. You can flash freeze ready-made sushi (yum)
2. Anytime you think you finally have the coolest car, some other do-do will out do you
3. The bigger your flat-screen, the bigger your nads
4. It’s hip to watch sports tv while mowing the lawn
5. The best stylists are always flaming gay
...
[deleted]
[deleted]
6. If you're a gay hairdresser, Billy is pronounced "Bill-lay"
7. Suicide by duct taping yourself to a riding lawn mower and driving it into the pool is common.
8. Sleeping with your "father" is ok... only if mom wouldn't stop the fun.
9. A 80's model Volvo will keep up with an Audi TT. And they're pretty safe when crashed, too.
10. Nobody will wonder why you play golf everyday, have all the cool toys, and you never work.
11. "A little bit of this, and a little bit of that" is a perfect description of your job.
IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU THINK...
thought it was the garden hose?what duct tape is green?with a nozzle at the end.
spectre can
suck it.
11. Love is always stronger than Icon status.
12. Skip the dinner and movies. Give the guy a ride in your TT and make your move.
13. Even washed-out golf pros need golf lessons.
14. All high school kids look 25.
15. I am an incredibly powerful salesperson, constantly climbing the ladder of success.
share16. Paris Hilton was a close friend of the Joneses.
share17. Caprisun will start selling Alcohol in pouch form.
18. If your friends with a pretty girl the only reason your not hitting it is because your gay
19. If your pretending to be underage and you have sex with an older married man, no one will care least of all the wife
20. Counter Culture girls all want to wear paris hilton glasses
21. In order to attain Icon status you have to fake marry some insecure guy named BOB
22. No one wants to watch a movie on their day off
23. Neighbors won't think its weird and disturbing when the whole family opens the door at once
24. At a party only ONE person will have any grass and they will ask the poser boy they just met to smoke it with them, even though they don't like that person from school
25. If you expose a massive fraud (not an illegal one) no one in the national media will care
TV Tropes will ruin your life
Not all foreigners are anti American
Well to be fair he just pretending to need lessons so he could show off his 1337 golf club.
share26.Just listening to inspirational sales CD whole time will not achieve anything.
You have to apply yourself to become better salesperson
27.If a guy is into group of male singers band doesn't mean he is gay
28 .Not everything that glitter is gold
29. never screw an middle age married man when you can have hot hunky collage guys at your disposal
30. never fell in love with a man who wants to become simultaneously a successful salesman and a man with conscience.
31. Even after breaking your arm you're still able to give the guy who tried to hit on your brother the finger! (I've never broken any body part before so I can't say for sure you'd be able to do this)
---------------------------------------
"I don't love you enough to hate you!!"
32. Steve just ruined Larry's day by driving the new Audi.
33. The Toto will wave at you.
34. Tuesday gift is just for... being Tuesday.
35. High school girls are into the upscale perfumes like L'artisan.
36. Toilets in Tokyo are very friendly.
37. A man who plays golf all day, never identifies what business he or his wife are into, and has oodles of expensive toys will not be suspected by anyone in the vicinity of being into illegal activity. Not even the local police will care.
38. Being a salesperson and being incredibly randy don't mix.
39. If you're married and want to break up with your girlfriend, get your wife to do it for you. After all, it IS her boat!
40. Don't try to keep up with The Joneses. That is, unless you want your husband AND the ride-on mower to wind up sitting at the bottom of the pool.
41. Men, if you want to be able to have hot sex with your wives.... give her a Tuesday gift.
42. Ladies, if you want to be able to have hot sex with your husbands.... better keep him away from that Jones girl!
THE RAP CRITIC:
http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/rap-critic
Loved your list slimcity
share43: It's easy to be a undercover product salesman, as long as everything you show people is the very best on the market. (If the stuff you're showing is only the same, you'd be out of a job rather quickly.
44: When you job is to expose a small segment of the general public to various products, there is a computer that can magically calculate how much you have increased the percentage of sales for that item.
45. If people have individual passport photo strips enlarged on their wall, they are not a real family.
46. Demi Moore forgot to get her lip area sorted.
47. Thinking about your inspirations at bed time is better than sex.
48. The word "icon" is sexy and most definitely an aphrodisiac.
49. Once you've let the cat out the bag about your frozen hors d'oeuvres, all the boxes will be piled up in plain sight despite you having to get the waiter to let your unwitting subjects sneak a peek.
50. Even though all your neighbours think your the bees knees, watch your every move and copy your crazy style, no one will be concerened when a black car with blacked out windows pulls up beside you while jogging and you get in.
Time for some thrilling heroics...
51. What has Duchovny done to his hair!
52. The audience will not realise that the neighbours are SO shallow to be pulled by the Joneses.
Its that man again!!
So, what did Duchovny do to his hair? I didn't see anything different.
share53. Shallow people really do say things like "The one who dies with the most toys wins."
54. Ethan Allen has gorgeous glass tables and crystal sculptures.
'So, what did Duchovny do to his hair? I didn't see anything different.'
He obviously dyes it. But it also looked like a partial wig.
If you see his IMDB pictures it does seem he is losing some hair from the front of his head.
Its that man again!!
Thanks, Pippy-4!
THE RAP CRITIC:
http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/rap-critic
54. Be a little concerned if your neighbour's surname is Jones.
55. Make believe mum has every right to remove naked make believe daughter from make believe hubby's bed.
55. The longer make believe couple sleep apart, the hornier they get.
56. If you don't want to play golf, you can impress by telling of the injury you received from hot tantric sex.
57. 'The truth is out there' - Mulder confesses the whole charade.
58. If you have to bribe your wife for sex with presents, always sell your ride on mower to remove temptation and improve your budget.
59. Ride on mowers don't float.
60. Always check the occupancy of the yacht before starting your sweettalk.
61. Hot sex with married men can remove the wives from your customer base.
62. Make believe hubands are not jealous of ex make believe husbands.
To tennis players love means nothing!
63. The cops don't throughly investigate how a 'minor' acquired massive quantities of alcohol.
64. Girls will let you call them your girlfriend even if you have never made a move on them.
66. (Huge thing) Spoiler
If somebody commits suicide due to his financial problems, because he over-spent & was jealous of you, it's your fault.
Where's the whole list? I was only able to get the others (to about 50) in others' replies...
shareReading these comments about the movie was much more entertaining than the movie itself.
share67. Sham marriages are lived out in mansions - Arizona is for lovers.
68. You'll never become an Omega-strata-robustion-cosmetic associate if you just wait for brand new neigbbors to settle in before introducing yourself.
69. Buying a hot new Volkswagon convertible is just setting yourself up for soul-crushing disappointment.
70. Clean livin' translates to a solid golf-swing.
71. Pretend sons and daughters who are actually adult co-workers need good parenting just as much as real kids with behavioral and emotional problems.
72. There's something that's profoundly original and symbolic about a character tying/taping himself to a lawn mower and driving into the pool to drown himself. It really drives the message home about materialism and living beyond one's means.
What that message is, I don't know... but it seems like the first time someone has used tying yourself to a lawn mower and driving into a pool.
73. If your husband wants to make sex spontaneously before bed, but you need to have your inspirations as your last thoughts before sleep... you can't have the sex and then think about your inspiration(s)- so shut him down.
74. If you expose the secrets of the company you work for and lose them loads of money, you'll be offered a promotion.
share75. Pulling out your phone and blowing kisses to your wife whilst the man you just met tries to take his golf shot will not annoy him, instead he will be so jealous of how cool you are he will instantly throw away his life in his relentless pursuit to become just like you.
76. Amber Heard is very, very beautiful. But topless she looks a bit ordinary. Must be those classy clothes she was wearing. Hey I better buy some of that stuff from the movie! Just not the lawnmower.
77. There aren't 100 things to learn from the Joneses. Lists trying to find 100 things will run out of steam about 3/4's of the way through. But that's OK because that's what happened in the movie too.
Wow! This is a hard one to follow because its so true. Anyway...
78. In a house with catered parties and beautiful professional landscaping, we choose to mow our own lawn.
79. You can get the store clerk to stock and sell your products in an upscale pro shop by booking a lesson.
80. If your heart is broken by a. losing your married boyfriend, b. not getting your boyfriend, c. falling in love with your fake husband, you obviously start the whole thing over again with the same group (minus 1) of people in the same job in a new location..kind of like watching this movie a second time in another room.
81. Teenage Golddiggers get their heart broken when they get dumped, I mean they take it really, really hard...to the point your fake family comes to their assistance during said emotional crisis.
82. Somehow you can enroll in any high school with your fake last name without any problem(s).
83. Graduate? Why bother when you can stay in high school well into your twenties with countless admirers due to all your cool stuff and clothes, by merely moving to another town....without anyone being suspicious or anything. The "Company" takes care of it all...
84. When you go out to eat to impress your new neighbors and some pesky frat brother/drinking buddy from your past recognizes you and calls you by your real name just use the old "wow he must be drunk! That was weird" line.