MovieChat Forums > Bob Saget (2008) Discussion > Best lines...

Best lines...

posted 16 years ago by cinematographique
25 replies | jump to latest

Come on, Jon, there hasn't been a more feminine Jew in the closet since Anne Frank.

You lost your wife to the fat kid from Stand By Me!

Doesn't Lisa Lampanelli look fanta--oh, wait, sorry, that's Jeff Garlin.

And Dave Coulier, in case you thought we forgot about you---we did.

Life sucks; Pryor's dead, Carlin's dead--Bob Saget is as healthy as a mule.

Norm can't stay much longer, he has to get his suit back to his father's coffin (ouch! But funny from Leachman)

Gilbert Gottfried, when you go to the men's room later, you'll see a sign that says Gentlemen, but pay no heed, go right in. There's no room that says Scoundrel on it! ()

this great blue world of ours
seems a house of leaves
moments before the wind

[–] jefffirestone2000 16 years ago

no the best line was

jim norton: norm macdonald your act was like watching henry fonda pick blueberrys

norm: now wait a minute im sure there isnt a man in here that wouldnt love to watch henry fonda pick blueberrys

[–] Light_Grenades 16 years ago

This probably isn't exactly it but whatever.

"Jodie Sweetin is in the audience; she's the only one who isn't a crazy christian or a vagina on a stick."

"We are the angels, and we are the ones that are praying"
Weezer - The Angel and the One

[–] audiostratus 15 years ago

honestly, i agree with this one.

i'm not sure what was funnier with Norm's stuff...how insanely dry his humor was, or the audience's lack of reaction (aside from the "i-don't-want-to-look-like-an-idiot-for-not-laughing-at-joke" chuckles..).

I have to admit, I was a bit lost with his bit the first time I watched it, but after I saw it again, it hit me like a semi. Really, the fact that he paused for the audience's reaction and/or explained the punch line to the jokes, with a bit of a smirk was the funniest part of it.

I nearly lost it with that quote above about picking blueberries...hahaha

[–] kcm183 16 years ago

I've been with so many black men than the urinal at the Apollo.
I forgot who said it but it was too damn funny.

Not to forget, Don Rickles part was hilarious too.

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] fozzy2020 16 years ago

urinal one was something someone said about lampanelli at the roast of pam anderson i believe

[–] mlspaur 16 years ago

Cloris Leachman's so old, Shakespeare did HER in the park.

[–] Furness 16 years ago

Cloris Leachman - "I don't know who any of you are, b/c I watch TV, movies and read the trade magazines"

John Lovitz - "Bob, you're one of my best friends" Saget then shakes his head as if to say "I am???"

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[–] jrb2111991 16 years ago

"Your face...looks...like a cauliflower."

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[–] benedryl23 16 years ago

Gottfried - When I typed in Bob Saget's name on google it came back "Why?"

[–] maxcatcherson22 16 years ago

Bob Saget:
[on Gilbert Gottfried being a pedophile]
"What better way to lure a child into your van than doing the voice of the parrot from Aladdin?"

[–] dsweatt 16 years ago

Well first of all, it's not true. It's not true that Bob Saget RAPED AND KILLED a girl in 1990.

[–] guitar0zero 16 years ago

I know it was bad but it was something along the lines of...

"Norm McDonald has dropped more quarters at the casino that Michael J Fox does at a parking meter."

[–] divinesynder 16 years ago

My favorite was CLoris Leechman.

"I'm not here to roast Bob Saget. I'm here to *beep* John Stamos."

"Someone please hit me in the face so I can see some stars!"

She was awesome!!!!

[–] annamarie05 16 years ago

Probably the one about Mary Kate and Ashley going into a bar.

"Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen walk into a bar. They say to the bartender "Give us two asshurts". The bartender says "How do you make an asshurt"? The Olsen twins say "Well, Bob Saget hands you a chocolate milk that he just made and you wake up three hours later lying on your stomach".

RIP Heath Ledger.
RIP Bernie Mac.

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[–] wiggydadutcha 15 years ago

"There are times when Bob Saget has something on his mind....when he wears a hat.....no thoughts at all.....just a hat"

"Susie Essman's vagina got an acting job playing the monster in Cloverfield." (something like that)

Gilbert's continuous "BOB SAGET RAPED AND KILLED A GIRL IN 1990!" lines and his Mary Kate and Ashley walk into a bar joke.

The whole thing was hilarious.