I'm going to have to (respectfully) disagree with you, but with certain concessions. There were definitely some fun dry humor moments, but they were too few and far between. The script strikes me as very juvenile and often pointless; for instance, is it REALLY that funny that these female characters have supposedly slept with powerful world leaders? Why do we have to mention that, for a cheap laugh? I understand that they're trying to make a workplace comedy on steroids by having the plot revolve around rival teams of assassins competing for survival, but there was DEFINITELY a better way to go about it.
My big problems with the film:
The fight scenes were poorly choreographed despite the obvious enthusiasm of the performers. The sound effects were shoddy and often delayed during the combat scenes involving weapons (Emperor vs. Empress, for example) and were overall incredibly disappointing. These half-assed fight sequences contributed to the film's ineptitude; if the story hinges on skilled assassins battling for their very lives, why would the fight sequences last for about a minute and consist of a bunch of silly blocks and punches before ending with somebody driving a random object into his opponents face?
The story itself was incredibly flimsy. Certain things didn't even make sense. The rivalry between the teams is underdeveloped to the point where we don't even care what happens.
Characters and relationships were criminally underdeveloped. I understand not giving backstory or too much info on the characters to keep with the idea that these assassins live by code names and secrecy is key, but everybody had the same personality. They were all just...dull. Quiet, sulky, brooding, grumpy, sarcastic, and bitchy. This is NOT the performers' fault; they all tried to imbue their respective characters with something fun and interesting, but it was all too hackneyed and crummy in the end. The writers also killed off the characters too easily and too swiftly.
This film belonged to Fool, Temperance, Empress, and the two Surveillance Guys; a.k.a. the least interesting characters. We've seen this before! The "couple" rekindling their romance after a messy past, the ruthless bitch, and the squabbling friends who oversee the action from the safety of their chairs. Chariot was even underused despite being one of the best parts of the film. Too few performers were allowed to stretch their wings and show their stuff during the incredibly short, boring movie. Hermit's role in this charade was unclear and it was reflected in Galifianakis' portrayal of the character; his face and actions seemed to say, "what the *beep* am I doing here?"
This movie boasted a comedy dream team: every single performer was/is capable of home-run comedy of any type: dark, dry, slapstick, etc. I would KILL to have all those talented performers in a movie where I could harness their potential and make something amazing, which is precisely what the director failed to do. This meandering, useless film was chock full of brilliant stars and it seems as though the director just didn't care and decided the film could rest on the cast's shoulders. How about guiding your performers.
Have to say it again: dialogue and story wise, the script was AWFUL!
This idea had OODLES of potential and instead became hard to sit through. I was NOT expecting a "Hangover" style "oh wow look at us being silly and falling down and cussing and being crazy" kind of movie; not all Americans require that kind of humor to have a good time. I anticipated funny, smart dialogue and dark humor with plenty of action and instead I ended up renting what amounted to a lifeless pile of garbage.
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