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Things I learned from this movie (spoilers)

posted 14 years ago by breen-1
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Some things I learned from this movie (spoilers are included.)

The Captain;

1. If your second-in-command is handing out guns, tell him to only shoot as a last resort and to be careful about ricochets. Then when you are about to close the door to seal in several snakes, shoot as many bullets as you can at the metal floor, and make sure you do it at a good angle. You are the captain, you can do what you like.

2. When you have to fight the big snake in the control room, you'll run out of bullets eventually ... because you've used them all up shooting the other snakes.

3. When you have to fight the big snake in the control room, you'll have to use a gun, your hands and a knife to kill it, because the other men are wimps and will stand about looking scared.

4. When you have to fight the big snake in the control room, don't worry if you forget the layout of the room which you've been working in for months, and run into a piece of metal. Your men won't help, but the snake will give you time to recover.

The snakes;

1. If you're a group of smakes which are let out of a box, you can instantly get all over the sub before being spotted.

The scientist;

1. If you're a scientist who has spent years working with snakes, and you are left alone in a room with several, be carefull ... despite your years of experience they'll probably end up all coiled about you because they like you.

2. If you're a snake scientist and end up with snakes coiled about you, don't try to remove them. Intead wait for the captain, Although he hates snakes and has no experience of how to handle them he'll be able to remove them easily.

The cook;

1. If the captain has just announced on the tannoy that there are lots of poisonous dangerous snakes all over the sub, don't worry about it. Just remove the cans from the shelves without checking. Go on, just put your hand right in there at the back.

[–] VicHarris 14 years ago

Nice list! Very good and funny points indeed breen-1! I was actually in call-backs for this movie and let me tell you, the script looked pretty good. Even though Snakes on a Plane was racing through my head the entire time. Never saw Luke Perry coming though. I thought he did a pretty solid job at it though but I did see alot of "wooden" acting with others.

[–] breen-1 14 years ago

Interesting. Sorry you didn't get the part, then.

For the record I enjoyed the movie a lot, I thought it was very entertaining, and Krista Allen was fantastic.

[–] nutsberryfarm 14 years ago

'we are all in this together & the sooner you get this, the better.'

if you have a wrench you will be unable to kill the snake with it but you will make loud sounds.

I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "... I drank what?"

[–] dsrtdmn 14 years ago

And submarines are built using base board through-out. Must be to absorb all the leaking water

[–] gray1937-1 14 years ago

Since regular radio waves really do work under water all that extremely low frequency stuff we used to worry about and had to invent was unnecessary.

[–] iheartjacksparrow 14 years ago

The doctor on the sub -

Even though you went to medical school, you don't have any idea what a snake bite looks like and try desperately to come up with a virus or fever that's making the crew guy ill.

[–] berkeley 14 years ago

Here's some more:

When snakes grow to abnormal sizes, they sound like an alley cat fighting the shark from Jaws 4. They also lose their fangs and grow teeth.

A slight tap to the mid-section of a giant aggressive snake with a clipboard doesn't kill it so there's no need to look for any other alternatives.

It's totally safe to electrocute a snake you're holding with your bear hands while lying on a metal floor in a submarine.

Superman and The Flash have nothing on Luke Perry; he can turn around and outrun a snake's strike.

When something inside a container is causing it to shake, placing the container at eye-level and opening it a few inches in front of your face is actually a bad idea.

[–] 14 years ago

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[–] Phroggy 13 years ago

China can sens bombs on a submarine from another country because of "tensions", and no-one utters a peep. as long as the sub escapes the bomb, everyone is happy again. (International relations 101)

[–] 13 years ago

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