Made 'Frame of Mind' look like 'Citizen Kane'

And the only reason I put it that way is because I rented three movies the other night. The first one I watched was "Frame of Mind," a lackluster action/drama with a handful of names and an interesting premise. That one falls apart laughably at the end, but it was a cinematic feast compared to "Son of Sam."

How sad is it that I actually talk about another bad movie just to get my point across on how absolutely horrible this movie is?

The IMDb review of "Son of Sam", while accurate, treats the filmmakers too kindly. People who make movies this bad, and then trick unsuspecting video store patrons into seeing them should really be punished. I didn't last past the first ten minutes. It was shot on video: strike one. It had all of the suspense and acting of "Manos: The Hands of Fate." Strike two. The murders aren't shown, just the rather amateurishly-staged aftermaths. Strike three.

I fast-forwarded through the rest of the 75-minute "feature," slowing down only when I thought the girl in the Satanic rituals was going to get naked. Honestly, I made better movies than this with my family's first Magnavox VHS camcorder in 1986 when I was a kid. How something like this gets slapped together and distributed at all just tears away another little piece of my soul.

If the cretins responsible for "Son of Sam" ever read this review, I hope that they will seriously consider getting out of the movie business forever. They are worse than Seltzer and Friedberg, which is a dam(n) near impossible feat.