MovieChat Forums > Io sono l'amore (2010) Discussion > Was anyone else surprised when...?

Was anyone else surprised when...?

posted 12 years ago by cdunbar-3
9 replies | jump to latest

I was thunderstruck when Emma announced to her husband at film's end, "I love Antonio." That was the ultimate act of selfishness. She was writing off her whole family when she made that announcement, for she certainly knew what the cost would be. If she had carried on with the affair quietly, she would have kept their illusions intact and who would that harm? After all, this is a culture where affairs are commonplace, and generally accepted when unacknowledged. There wasn't much to like about Tilda Swinton's character. I like to think it's a rare mother who puts her personal happiness before her children; by the story's end, she forfeits the happiness of her entire family. I guess that's another post...the problems that develop when parents live for themselves. You never stop being a mother or father, until you stop acting like a mother or father. While the film was compelling enough to keep me watching, there is already an over abundance of films that glorify infidelity.

[–] dave1176 12 years ago

********************************SPOILERS!!!!!************************

Thank you for your post, it is an interesting perspective and helped me figure out some of my own thoughts on the film.

Obviously the point you raise is one of the very central themes of the film - as blocked out by the title 'I Am Love' - it is about love versus convention and rules, and what happens and what do you do when they do not coincide.

As to selfishness and failing her children - well the secret affair was what led to her son's death, it is too late to do anything for that situation. Her daughter on the other hand was an inspiration to her confession of love, and at the end nods her approval. Here is a parent-child relationship where the child approves of her parent's happiness, is not just a dependent leech demanding sacrifice.

So in this case, her happiness has increased her daughter's happiness, since the daughter believes she and others should follow their heart even if it breaks conventions and taboos.

In more general cases of whether parents should stay together in loveless/hate filled/soul destroying relationships for their children - there probably isn't one answer. Often such poisonous relationships cast shuch a cloud over the children that they would be much better off if their parents seperated and were happy. A happy adult can perform much better at nurturing than a depressed worn down one.

[–] mamanoooooooo 11 years ago

I didn't see it like this at all. I can always tell the age and life experience of a poster of by what they think a character should have done as oppose to way life really is. She wasn't responsible for Edo's death, it was an accident. A horrible accident but none the less. She didn't put her personal happiness before her children and family-it's because of them she had to leave. Her father-in-law and the man from India remarked what a wonderful job she had done raising them. She had done all there was to do. And her husband wasn't as affectionate as you imagine him-with his little touches and cold kisses. Some people to are able to have affairs and still "maintain". And that's all she was doing maintaining not living. Antonio made her feel alive again-did she see how she "tasted" the food as if the first time in a long time-her senses ignited again. The end result of their affair doesn't matter and it doesn't matter even if she goes back to her husband she will never be the same again. The shots with the rain pouring over the statue symbolizes her rebirth.

When you get older you will understand. Maybe not, maybe you will be one of those women who is just satisfied with maintaining, but clearly Emma isn't .

Oh did you notice how no one in the family comforted Eva at the hospital and rightly so she is an awful social climber whose snobbery didn't support her lineage, it wasn't like she was rich-she was from "the poor side".

[–] skay_baltimore 11 years ago

I was thunderstruck when Emma announced to her husband at film's end, "I love Antonio." That was the ultimate act of selfishness. She was writing off her whole family when she made that announcement, for she certainly knew what the cost would be. If she had carried on with the affair quietly, she would have kept their illusions intact and who would that harm? After all, this is a culture where affairs are commonplace, and generally accepted when unacknowledged. There wasn't much to like about Tilda Swinton's character. I like to think it's a rare mother who puts her personal happiness before her children; by the story's end, she forfeits the happiness of her entire family. I guess that's another post...the problems that develop when parents live for themselves. You never stop being a mother or father, until you stop acting like a mother or father. While the film was compelling enough to keep me watching, there is already an over abundance of films that glorify infidelity.

I couldn't disagree more. Maybe it's because I just finished watching "Come Undone", which I absolutely hated, for the very reason that the lead characters were such loathsome liars when it came to their slimy little affair. (Alba Rohrwacher (Betta) was the lead in that film, and that's why I wanted to see "I Am Love".) So when Emma came right out and said that she loved Antonio, I appreciated her honesty. But hey...to each his/her own. I just wanted to state how I viewed the film and how it struck me.

"Love isn't what you say or how you feel, it's what you DO". (The Last Kiss)

[–] jpalmquist-99-955350 11 years ago

On the contrary, that is the climax of the whole film, and the heart of the point the film is making.

The main theme of the movie is Emma being trapped inside the artificial Italian bourgeois world. We can see her instincts coming out through her experience with food, her withdrawn attitude at the parties, her acceptance of Betta, revealing her past to Antonio, including her previous name and how she 'became' Italian when she moved there, and in her relationship and down-to-earth experiences with Antonio.

Regarding her abandonment of the children and family, that might be an issue if the children were 'children,' not adults. But I'm pretty sure they'll be OK (Betta gave her approval).

[–] alice-enland 8 years ago

Very selfish of Emma indeed. After all, her husband had also just buried a son, so Emma decides to drop a turd on him by revealing her affair with the cook.

[–] Keely 8 years ago

Yes, selfish and also somewhat unaware about life and the usual evolution of torrid sexual affairs. But Emma was a babe in the woods when you consider her upbringing before she met Tancredi.

There certainly would have been a multitude of more gracious ways for her to handle the tragedy. But I guess she was crazed by her son's death, especially because he more than the other members of her family seemed to understand and appreciate her true nature and had an ability to think out of the Recchi box, which even Emma didn't until her affair. Her connection with Edo was at least as strong as her connection with Betta, who also was incredibly selfish and cold when her fiance came to the station with flowers and she completely brushed him off in that horrible way. The statement is, "No one matters but me." To be human only with certain people is not a sign of maturity.

Her affair with Antonio was beautiful and based on something valuable and precious, which was her discovery of herself. Both were cooks and maybe they would have ended up having a creative life together. But it's just as likely that eventually the affair would have petered out. In any event nothing justifies ripping the husband's guts out the way she did at the end. He too was a human being.

For someone like mamanoooo or whatever the name is to tout their superior judgment due to age and experience, and then to make the incredible statement that the son's death was nothing more than an accident, and that no one/nothing matters except personal fulfillment, to me is Looney Tunes. I too am probably one of the senior members here and one thing I know for a fact is that every human has a heart, we are all connected, and everything we do affects everyone else.

[–] prplayer 8 years ago

men cheat => they're pigs
women cheat => they're just discovering themselves

LOL

so many movies, so little time

[–] mothnm 8 years ago

Watched the film on Netflix, in Spanish, with low sound volume so I basically basked in the gorgeous interior settings and invented my own story line based on what I was seeing. My interpretation was close but I thought husband kicked Emma out of the house refusing to let her take even her clothing. Two remaining children had to make a quick decision between staying with the family or living in poverty with Mom. They chose the high life. The maid was the one with no choice.

So I pondered. Would I ever have the courage to make an unfaithful partner leave without clothes or jewelry I bought them or would I do what I always do and walk out with nothing like Emma actually did? My film instead of this one but it gave me something to think about and made this film seem gorgeous but predictable.

[–] cdunbar-959-324822 8 years ago

mothnm: I love how your interpretation breaks the film down to its essentials. Sometimes the visual message resonates most. Thanks for expressing your thoughts!