NERDS - I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (2009) Discussion

[–] TheDeconstructionistGuy 14 years ago

Hey *beep*

Dad?

"My name is John,"

Oh thank God, my dad's name !s He!nr!ch, so !t's not my dad.

"and I hate every single one of you."

Why? Not all of us !s a m!nor!ty.

"All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes "

lt's almost l!ke you've been !n my l!v!ngroom for the last 10 years tak!ng notes.

"who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures."

l assume when you say "stupid ass pictures", you mean Tucker's mov!e.

"You are everything bad in the world."

l'm sorry for g!v!ng everybody all that cancer.

"Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy?"

Honestly? Hmm... Ask your mom.

"I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of Tucker Max"

lt's more of a del!ght.

"because of your own insecurities,"

or desp!te them.

"but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook."

Has your mother been talk!ng about me aga!n?

"Don't be a stranger."

Hello sa!lor

" Just hit me with your best shot. "

Th!s turned !nto someth!ng strange altogether w!th your last sentence.

"I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team."

Other than the herpes, he's the total package.

"What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn japanese people"?"

Ser!ously dude, you're uncanny. lt's l!ke you're read!ng my cred!t card statements.

"I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; *beep* was SO cash)."

Th!s !s a prank, r!ght? You can't be ser!ously that cl!che'.

"You are all *beep* who should just kill yourselves."

Why? Why k!ll myself when you're go!ng to br!ng me weeks of happ!ness. l can tell that l'm go!ng to spend endless hours mock!ng you USlNG YOUR OWN WORDS.

You complete me.

"Thanks for listening. "

Oh no, thank you. Thank you and thank The 7esus.

"I have no idea what I am talking about and shouldn't be making movies." - Tucker Max

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

You use exclamation marks for your I's.

Your argument is invalid.

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] YourYankeeBlueJeans 14 years ago

What does your post have to do with Tucker or his lame vanity flick?

You weren't captain of your football team, you were a co-captain. That is a title shared by at least 50,000 high school students in America EVERY YEAR. Your team also had an unimpressive record and you weren't awarded any all-state awards which means that you were merely an above average player on a below average team. Not very impressive at all and certainly a far cry from "pretty much perfect". Bragging about mediocre high school athletic achievements to a bunch of people who you don't know is pretty laughable and pathetic. Almost Tucker-esque.

It sounds like you are much less awesome than you think you are. You know who else is extremely self delusional?? Tucker Max. Have you seen his terrible movie?

Tucker Max: destroying more Hollywood careers than is safe or reasonable.

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

I knew you guys would be jealous of me, but YourYankeeBlueJeans seems to be incredibly jealous.

Judging by his signature, I'm guessing he is currently on a year long (or possibly longer) Internet crusade against Tucker Max.

Here's a clue: NO ONE *beep* CARES.

Scuse me while I go bang my girlfriend now. Yes, I have a girlfriend, I'm sure you've never touched a girl. Or if you have, you always felt inadequate about it after and then cried yourself to sleep.

Jealousy: destroying more lives than is safe or reasonable.

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] YourYankeeBlueJeans 14 years ago

Here's a clue: NO ONE *beep* CARES.

It's pretty obvious that YOU care. The question is why you would want to come to the defense of the only person who exaggerates, lies, and brags about his mediocre past more than you.

Please stop making this forum about you and talk about either the movie or Tucker.

Tucker Max: destroying more Hollywood careers than is safe or reasonable.

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

Like I said before, I expected jealousy but damn man, you take it to a whole new level.

I know you want to be me, and that's ok. You don't even have to admit it.

But acting a fool will do nothing for you kid, maybe someday you'll find a more worthwhile cause in life than attacking a person who actually got chicks and had friends. Your insecurities blind you.

Faaaaaaaaggot.

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] YourYankeeBlueJeans 14 years ago

John "Almost Perfect Former High School Football Co-Captain", you really don't have a clue, do you? I know that since you are still in school, you don't understand what is wrong with him, but someday you will see. I used to be a fan of his stories, too. I am not attacking him because he "got chicks and had friends". (I especially like how you used the past tense there. Where are his friends now?) I had more than my share of fun during high school and fraternity days. The difference is that I matured past that point. Nobody wants to cheer for a middle-aged overconfident toolbag creep who's constantly in pursuit of meaningless flings with emotionally disturbed/easy girls and makes a living by reliving "true" stories of his glory days.

I am attacking him because he is a greedy, selfish, manipulative narcissist who represents so much of what is wrong with our country. He consistently wrote checks with his mouth that he couldn't cash and truly thought that he could fake his way to fame and fortune. He is an attention whore, a control freak, and he thinks that he is much more intelligent/talented than he actually is. His movie blog basically proves each one of those points. It has been refreshing to see the real world b!tch slap him back to reality and show him that you have to put in actual work to succeed.

Again, WHAT DO ANY OF YOUR POSTS HAVE TO DO WITH TUCKER OR HIS MOVIE? If you want to insult his haters, why don't you join Tucker's message board? I will chalk up any additional off-topic posts to simple trolling. Of course John "Almost Perfect I Have an Awesome Life" would never waste his time trolling the forum of a massive failure of a movie...lol.

Tucker Max: destroying more Hollywood careers than is safe or reasonable.

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

bro i think i know what you mean

my mom used to read me the book Goodnight Moon and i loved that *beep*

then i realized the moon in that book was a total prick, he didn't even say goodnight back or anything.

so yeah, *beep* the moon.

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] YourYankeeBlueJeans 14 years ago

Yep, the Moon is nearly as big a douchebag as Tucker and almost as massive as Nils. It's probably because the Moon is jealous of Tucker's massive debt and failed career. But it's cool because the Moon is going to make a HUGE comeback while living in a low-rent apartment. The Moon will have the help of some misguided sycophants who think that they are the only ones who ever get laid. Undoubtedly, they will hurl meaningless insults that will (surely) devastate its haters. However, the Moon's fanboys will not be able to actually defend their messiah, only fling turds of insults that are neither clever nor funny ... basically a microcosm of Tucker's movie.

Tucker Max: destroying more Hollywood careers than is safe or reasonable.

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

I don't even know what microcosm means.

I think you need to get laid. And not by a fat chick, it has clearly just made you angry.

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] YourYankeeBlueJeans 14 years ago

How can you claim to be a straight A student with such a rudimentary vocabulary? Even your hero, Tucker, knows what a microcosm is. Were you hit on the head too many times during your supposed stint as a co-captain of a mediocre-at-best football team?

Tucker Max: destroying more Hollywood careers than is safe or reasonable.

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

Actually we won state, in the toughest division in the league so run and tell that homeboy.

I'm glad your life is so fulfilling

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] YourYankeeBlueJeans 14 years ago

Wow, an unsubstantiated exaggeration/outright lie in order to pump yourself up. Color me unimpressed. You really take after your boy Tucker, don't you? Now if you can base a fictional autobiography about this which allows you to look awesome to gullible teenagers while coasting through life for the next 6 years, you'll really be in Tuckerland.

BTW, I think you have the hierarchy of high school athletic structure mixed up when you were bragging to us. You may want to edit it so that your lie isn't so obvious.

I am a little upset that your unnatural fixation on our sex lives seems to be waning. Why didn't you mention your estimation of my love life in the last post? Don't you even care anymore?

Tucker Max: destroying more Hollywood careers than is safe or reasonable.

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

I didn't comment on your love life, because I think you may be gay.

I mean, like I said before, your jealousy is pretty blatant, but your fascination with Tucker is even more so.

You want to have sex with the man. I have no problem with queers, but like your jealousy, at least be honest!

I'm sure he cares so much about your Internet crusade.

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] senorjuez 14 years ago

Diablo4ever99,

I think if you were 10 years older or at least further removed from high school or college, you would see Tucker differently and understand why there is such a low opinion of him and this film.

Would you try to have sex with a deaf girl just so you can say you had sex a deaf girl? Or treat your friends to a boys night out with your main goal to hook up with a midget stripper? I think Tucker chooses disadvantaged girls because they are easy targets and there is not much competition from other guys so it's a cinch to score and with his warped mentality he thinks bragging about it will cause envy among his friends. Traci Lords was the only woman in the film he could have been with that any other guy would have envied him for.

What I'm trying to say is this: Tucker may seem cool through a 17-year-old's eyes but a 30+year-old sees someone completely different.

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[–] grant-graham 14 years ago

Why are you trying to reason with Diablo4ever99? He's either:

1) An idiot Tucker-wannabe compensating for his social deficiencies, or

2) Laughing at all of you by trolling. He created an obviously fictitious autobiography as a call to arms... it's a test to see if some of you get rattled.

I'd go with #2. Well played.

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[–] YourYankeeBlueJeans 14 years ago

I was hoping to pull a few of the more entertaining trolls back out of the woodwork. Unfortunately, all we are getting is an unimaginative lamewad who keeps on tossing out the same weak middle school insults. I miss the trolls on the old message board.

Tucker Max: destroying more Hollywood careers than is safe or reasonable.

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[–] Rebelson17 12 years ago

Hey I'd just like to say that this diablo guy is probably not a captain of a state champion hs football team. He's probably a douchebag. But on the other hand, Tucker Max is awesome. I mean he *beep* whatever girls he wanted for the most part and who gives a *beep* is people didnt like it. you can not tell me you wouldn't have liked to do what he did. The dude had fun and didn't give a *beep* if you liked him or not. That's the best way to live. Just my opinion though.

I changed my mind. Shoot this piece of sh!t will ya ?

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[–] YourYankeeBlueJeans 14 years ago

That's better. I was worried that you no longer cared. You've alluded to our love lives in nearly every single post in this thread. It's an odd fixation, but when you stopped making references to it, I was getting a little worried.

Funny sidenote. You claim that I might be gay, but Tucker is the one who has admitted to having sex with a transsexual.

Reading back through the thread, I think we have a pretty clear view of who "John" is. Judging by the level of vocabulary, the reference to his grades, his fixation on sex, his inability to actually discuss the movie, and the importance he puts on entry level athletics. I'd bet money that we have a junior high school troll on our hands. Tuckers biggest allies at this point are in junior high school. That is amazing. John, you have helped affirm my belief in karma and that Tucker is getting everything that he deserved. John, I hope that you jumping into this forum has given you the attention that you have so desperately craved.

Tucker Max: destroying more Hollywood careers than is safe or reasonable.

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

Well Yankee, you have the word "Yankee" in your username and I hate the Yankees.

Therfore I hate you, Tucker Max fan or not.

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] tempestnam 14 years ago

Here's a clue: NO ONE *beep* CARES.

Exactly. No one cares about your internet bragging.

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[–] barrybater2001 14 years ago

Diabalo4ever99, is it okay if I tell people we're friends?
________________
"...at this point the writing is on the wall..." -Tucker Max

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

Go ahead Barry, everyone wants to be my friend anyway. At least you, unlike our BlueJean wearing friend here, admit you want to be me :)

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] barrybater2001 14 years ago

Wait until I tell my friends that I'm down with diablo4ever99 from the internet. They'll all just die.

Is the '99' in your name from the year you graduated high school? Man, that'd be hella cool.

________________
"...at this point the writing is on the wall..." -Tucker Max

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[–] pmcdonnell-4 14 years ago

"Hey *beep*

My name is John, "

Hi John, thanks for sharing.

"and I hate every single one of you."

Actually, this is where you are supposed to say: Hello, I'm John, and I am addicted to Masturbation, and then we say: "Hi, John."

"All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures."

Not true, sometimes I get up and go to the bathroom, or throw a hot pocket in the microwave, or go to 7-11 for a Big Gulp of Mountain Dew.

"You are everything bad in the world."

Again, its not like I am an Islamic terrorist, or a pedophile. . . I'm just a fat retarded no-life who spends 70% of my time looking at stupid ass pictures; and the other 30% stuffing my pie hole with Hot Pockets and Mountain Dew.

"Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy?"

No, what's it like being with a "real woman?" One time at band camp, one of my buddies brought along a fleshlight pocket pussy, and we all dropped off a load or two, does that count?

"I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of Tucker Max because of your own insecurities,"

I'd like to think it's fun making fun of Tucker Max because he is the only person on the planet who is a bigger loser than a fat retarded no life who spends every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. I mean, even Arthur Kade is considered cooler now than Tucker Max.

"but you all take to a whole new level."

Thanks. If you are going to do something, you might as well go big or stay home.

"This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook."

Don't knock jerking off on facebook pictures until you've tried it

"Don't be a stranger."

OK, this is getting weird now. Are we going to hang out? Or, play war hammer of Call of Duty together? I still live with my Mom and she said that I shouldn't hook up with people on line. You might want to try Craigslist for something like that.

"Just hit me with your best shot."

I did when I was jerking off to your picture on facebook.

"I'm pretty much perfect."

Well, humility isn't exactly your strong suit.

"I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team."

Wow, that's the first question I always give to job applicants at the Circle K.

"What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn japanese people"?"

Is that a sport, because I'll tell you, I have a great shot at being named Captain of that team, or at least a starter.

"I also get straight A's,"

In High School? because the second question I ask job applicants is what were you're High School grades?

"and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; *beep* was SO cash)."

Can you give me her facebook page, I would love to friend her and then jerk off to that image.

"You are all *beep* who should just kill yourselves."

I'm sensing a little cyber bullying here, John. If I take your advice and mix a hefty dose of Ambien into my Big Gulp, I hope your conscience can handle it.

"Thanks for listening."

Thanks for sharing. Knowing that a big man on campus like you actually reads my stuff and cares, means a whole lot to a big fat retarded loser like me.

"I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" . . . will be bigger than ANYONE (except me) is predicting."
TM

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

Wow the jealousy in here is rampant. First Yankee and now this pmc guy.

Guys, it's ok! You can be angry, I'd be pissed too that I was such a loser and never got girls, but damn, at least ADMIT you get no pussy.

At least Barry knows what's up <3

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] pmcdonnell-4 14 years ago

Diablo,

U R the man. Could U write down your adventures about U and your cool bros and post it on the net. I would read them and then U could put them in a book so pimply faced fat losers like me could live vicariously through you. Oh, if you could start a message board, I would love to be one of your mods. And then we would write a screenplay together, make a movie, earn millions, and buy a private jet. U could even start a bar or crossbow range.

In other words, i want to be your nils. I will even eat more and get fatter so that we can capture that big man / cool stud chemistry. We can't lose. Tucker wasn't even the captain of his football team or a starter. He wasn't even the cooleth one of his friends. Let me be your nils..... Please.

"I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" . . . will be bigger than ANYONE (except me) is predicting."
TM

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[–] barrybater2001 14 years ago

diablo4ever99, would you mind if I meet up with you at a bar or club sometime and get some pictures with you for my Myspace page? It would really help out my social standing.

________________
"...at this point the writing is on the wall..." -Tucker Max

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

No problem bro! I have like 2,000 friends, so I'm sure your friend count would bump up if you got a picture with me.

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] 14 years ago

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[–] 14 years ago

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[–] barrybater2001 14 years ago

diablo4ever99, how can I become as cool you are?

________________
"...at this point the writing is on the wall..." -Tucker Max

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

GTL baby. Gym, tan, laundry.

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] pmcdonnell-4 14 years ago

Man, your always so cool. GTL it's almost like your always on the pulse of what is cool. A player like you makes the Jersey Shore guys look like a loser. Like someone who would live by himself in Austin having his girlfriend stolen by someone like Ian Ziering, or some other has been D celebrity.

"I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" . . . will be bigger than ANYONE (except me) is predicting."
TM

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

Bro, like I said, your rampant jealousy is showing. I know you want to get chicks like Tucker and I do, but you have to accept your faults if you want that to happen.

For example, using the correct form of "your".

You just got owned by someone who's totes more immature than you because he laughs at funny stories.

GET ON YOUR KNEES.

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] barrybater2001 14 years ago

I know, right? If you losers want to be able to score like me and diablo4ever99 and Tucker, y'all best recognize. You losers are way out of your league. GTLPD (gym, tan, laundry, public defecation), baby!

________________
"...at this point the writing is on the wall..." -Tucker Max

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

<3 Barry

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

Aww where'd all you bitches go? I was having fun owning all of you.

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] YourYankeeBlueJeans 14 years ago

Your insults were repetitive, nonsensical, and frankly, pretty lame. If you think that you were "owning" anyone, you are as deluded as Tucker when he was claiming to be the reinventor of Hollywood. Come up with something better and we'll GLADLY come back to give you the attention that you so desperately crave. We gave you every chance to be interesting, to which you failed miserably. The back-and-forth between you is rather boring and predictable. Tucker used to have MUCH better trolls on his side than you. Oh, how the (self-proclaimed) mighty have fallen.

Tucker Max: destroying more Hollywood careers than is safe or reasonable.

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

Wow I sure am glad I don't take funny stories on the Internet as seriously as you.

I didn't read the rest of your post, it was too boring.

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] 14 years ago

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

I am not an angle. What a lame insult! No wonder you guys are all such nerds.

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] 14 years ago

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

You're being so acute!

That doesn't sound good at all. Your insults suck.

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] 14 years ago

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[–] pmcdonnell-4 14 years ago

Diablo,

I lay prostrate at your feet. I mean, you are the man. I feel so owned. Using the possessive form of "you" rather than the contraction for "you are" on a message board makes me feel so powerless against you're great machismo and charm (Man, I did it again with the wrong form of "you," Damn, I'm such a tool). It's just the kind of thing that you or Tucker would do in an Austin bar to impress some midget or disfigured girl. I would be all trying to work my magic with a one -legged dwarf with a huge port wine facial stain, and some stud like you would just walk right up with tote command of the King's English, and put me in my place.

Please, don't tell me that Nils didn't have his own share of rampant jealousy towards Tucker. It comes with the territory of being the big fat pimply nerdy side kick/toady to the D-List narcissist. Please let me be your Nils. Barry doesn't deserve it.

"I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" . . . will be bigger than ANYONE (except me) is predicting."
TM

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

PMC, I'm glad you've come around. Was that so painful?

I'm not sure what a Nils is, but you can be my wingman any day!

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] pmcdonnell-4 14 years ago

Thanks Broseph,

I've been dying to be someone's Nils. I'm not sure what a wingman is, are we going to pick up midgets or handicapped chicks by pretending to be pilots?

For your edification, a "Nils" is a big fat pimply guy who stalks someone on an internet message board, becomes the proverbial "one-eyed king" in the land of the delusional retards who inhabit the board, adapts a screenplay from the various "aren't I cool" stories of his manchild hero, engages in gushing homoerotic worship of said man-child and makes ridiculous predictions of his man-bro's success, and then crashes and burns when the whole movie project goes down in ruins. Every guy as cool as you needs his own Nils. I will need a cool nickname like Drunkasaraus Rex, or Comedic Assassin. Diablo is already a pretty Bad-A nickname, but it would be great if you had one of those preppy-frat names like Tucker, or Logan. And don't listen to those tiny voices in your head that tell you that the only reason you hang out with big fat losers like me is because the real cool kids don't want to have anything to do with you.

Can we go to Vegas together? I am free every weekend except for next because the Jonas Brothers are in town. My life is definitely looking better now that I have met you. This is exactly how Nils met Tucker. And you are much cooler than Tucker with that football and basketball background. My old band friends are going to freak when you start coming around.

"I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" . . . will be bigger than ANYONE (except me) is predicting."
TM

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

I am glad you and Barry at least appreciate me.

You can be my wingman anyday!

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] tempestnam 14 years ago

tan

I bet you look like a dried out chilli pepper at twixteen.

What area of the country are you in.

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[–] tempestnam 14 years ago

What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; *beep* was SO cash). You are all *beep* who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Wait, wait....hahahahahahaha

I'm going to go with user name indication fail here.

You have almost no posts anywhere on IMDB and this is where you decided to hang your hat? What did you *just* read the book and decide to defend your new God.

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

Damn, another hater, just as soon as they were starting to lose numbers.

Bro, I know you are jealous, you don't have to be so angry, blah blah blah.

Just accept I am better than you and move on.

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] grant-graham 14 years ago

You need a new gimmick.

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

Where all my bitches at? I OWN this forum now.

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] YourYankeeBlueJeans 14 years ago

Since you have forced yourself into the center of the discussion and since I dislike the idea of any Tucker fan claiming to "own" this forum, I have this rebuttal. Are you ready for some of your own medicine?
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0255623/board/nest/20889453?d=20889453#2088 9453

diablo4ever99

John Elsen is my uncle!
Though he never was very succesful it was pretty cool to see him in Meet the Parents. I remember I went to the movie with some of my lady friends and I nearly stood up and screamed "THAT'S MY UNCLE!". He was also in a few commercials if I recall correctly.

Wow, you should definitely brag about being related (and sharing names) with that chubby, effeminate washed up actor. I mean, look at him http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0255623/ It's hard to be pretty much perfect when you are working with those genetics. (See how lame it is when Tucker sadistically craps on people for how they look? Not very funny is it?)

It IS funny how you are trying to pump yourself up. You were 8 when that movie was in the theaters. You didn't have any "lady friends". You are a liar like Tucker. How do I know you were 8? Meet the Parents was in theaters in 2000. The following comment was from you was from last year.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0164187/board/nest/144608092?d=144608092#14 4608092

diablo4ever99

Being a teenager (17) myself (and yes, I do have a social life), I can safely say everything these kids do in his movies is about 10% accurate of what teens really do.

blah blah blah

Why are you so obsessed with validating yourself to strangers by constantly claiming to have a social life? Was the girlfriend that was giving you stuff that was "so cash" as imaginary as your "lady friends"? Tucker's fans are liars and braggarts who try to make themselves look cooler than they really are. Then they are delusional enough to think there will be no consequences ... just like Tucker. I haven't had a chance to look at your posts for more than a few minutes, but what I saw was "pure comedy gold" as your boy Tucker would say.

Do you still think you own this forum, little boy?

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[–] pmcdonnell-4 14 years ago

It IS funny how you are trying to pump yourself up. You were 8 when that movie was in the theaters. You didn't have any "lady friends".

Yanks,

How dare you. People like Diablo and Tucker should not be called out on their prior words or postings. Bros like D and T transcend time and space. Of course at age 8, a perfect guy like Diablo was entertaining the ladies. Maybe you were playing legos and soldiers like the imaginary stripper's kid in the movie, but D was already hitting the ladies. Tucker was using a vintage 1984 video camera at the time of the butseth story which could film in dark light through slats circa 1999; instead of the small handheld camcorders which were ubiquitous and cheap by the mid nineties-- but Tucker is the man. He was also driving through store fronts in the days of video surveillance and written police reports. And, who in the late 90's wasn't attending all those sushi and lingerie parties in South Florida? The lighting in IHTSBIH was the biggest thing that ruined the movie and the director's fault; but at the same time was a brilliant idea of Tucker's that added to the film's realism. None of these are contradictions or inconsistent in Tucker or Diablo's world. If you say it, and post it on the internet, it is fact, bro. Plus, what you don't realize is that Diablo and Tucker carry around small digital voice recorders to confirm these events the nest day. Don't make Diablo pull out that digital recorder file from 2000 when he screamed in his 8 year old voice--that's my gay uncle! Because he has it. Well, actually, the voice recorder file got damaged because he jumped up and spilled Fanta all over it.

But, here is the actual email from Diablo's lady friend who was with him that evening:

From: Brittany Spears [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, October 01, 2000 10:15 AM
To: Diablo4ever1999
Subject: Meet the Parents

Diablo,

Thanks for taking me to see your uncle's movie. You are so sexy and I can't wait for you to come to Orlando to hang out with me and my friend Justin. I plan to save my virginity until you are old enough to deflower me. Justin will be mad, but he is nothing compared to what you will be in a few years.

I can't wait to see you again.

Love,

Brittany

PS. I know some day you will be Captain of the football team

"I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" . . . will be bigger than ANYONE (except me) is predicting."
TM

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[–] YourYankeeBlueJeans 14 years ago

Well, actually, the voice recorder file got damaged because he jumped up and spilled Fanta all over it.

It was actually Faygo. diablo is a Juggalo and has been down with the clown for years.

Tucker Max: destroying more Hollywood careers than is safe or reasonable.

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

Mr. YankeeMan

I find it awesome that you love me so much you decided to scour through all my old forum postings and even determined my year of birth and all that other fun stuff. I wish I could spend my evenings doing the same thing.

I skimmed through yours to try and bring up some self-depreciating evidence, but I got bored after pages and pages of posts on the Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan and Ram My *beep* Volume 3 forums.

Bro, I've said it time and time again, IT'S OKAY TO BE JEALOUS OF ME. But be a good sport like PMC and either admit it or move along.

Also, PMC, where did you get that e-mail she sent me? That's very private business but at least it's more evidence supporting how much better I am than Yankee.

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] YourYankeeBlueJeans 14 years ago

I'm having a hard time deciding who I am more jealous of, you or Tucker. I mean, Tucker has his lisp, tiny hands, massive debt, and a grubby apartment in Austin and you have an effeminate and chubby gene pool and stories about your 8 year-old "lady friends". You are both tied as consistent liars, attention whores, and braggarts. I am forced to say that I have an equal level of jealousy for you both.

How was your thirsty Thursday? Is it weird being being at a bar as an 18 year old alcoholic on a school night before a game day? Or were you just bragging about going to a bar to seem grown up and cool to your lady friends? I love how you created a thread to call us out as nerds and you ended up being the biggest nerd of us all. You have been a great illustration of the typical Tucker fan. Thanks for your time. You can go back to "owning" this forum now if it makes you feel special.

Tucker Max: destroying more Hollywood careers than is safe or reasonable.

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[–] diablo4ever99 14 years ago

Well, my work is done here.

My name is Leon Kompowski, and I'm a bricklayer from Paterson, New Jersey. All my life, I was very angry. Until one day, I just started acting as macho as I could. All of a sudden, everyone was smiling at me, and I was only doing good on this earth. So I kept on doing it.

To make a tired point, which one of us is truly crazy?

Goodbye YourYankeeBlueJeans

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0w1W5RGx9Q

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] YourYankeeBlueJeans 14 years ago

Well, my work is done here.

My name is Leon Kompowski, and I'm a bricklayer from Paterson, New Jersey. All my life, I was very angry. Until one day, I just started acting as macho as I could. All of a sudden, everyone was smiling at me, and I was only doing good on this earth. So I kept on doing it.

To make a tired point, which one of us is truly crazy?

Goodbye YourYankeeBlueJeans

Judging by your last post with the old Simpson's reference. Tucker and his fans are the truly crazy ones.

Goodbye, Mr. Williams.

Tucker Max: destroying more Hollywood careers than is safe or reasonable.

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[–] grant-graham 14 years ago

You hurt Little Tucker's feelings. Like other adolescent males in high school, it'll result in deep feelings of inadequacy. Normally that wouldn't be a problem, as those young boys would resolve those feelings of inadequacy by banding together on the Tucker Max Message Board. But since that fool Bob Gosse didn't use proper lighting on the Beer in Hell movie, Tucker can't afford the ISP bills, much less monthly rent on a run-down room in Los Angeles. Now Little Tucker has no choice but to conjure up fantasies of telling off fat chicks.

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[–] pmcdonnell-4 14 years ago

No, Diablo. . .

You're not just better than Yankee and me, you're even better than Tucker. Tucker wasn't getting any action at 8. He was sitting in his railroad train pajamas holding his ears not trying to hear the moans of his stewardess Mom pulling a train for the local Biker gang. That's why poor Tucker is so damaged and afraid of girls that f---- for fun, instead of to degrade themselves or get attention. And sure, Tucker is into blumpkins, fisting, and scat play, but the bottom work that you do is just epic.

You are the coolest one on this board, and the guy we all aspire to be. I mean, when I was 18, I was doing boring things like hanging out at college with my buddies and just dating regular girls. I have to say, I enjoyed just plain old fashioned sex it so much, I never had the guts to tell my buddies about what was going on, because I stupidly thought why wreck a good thing. Call me a sissy, but the idea of one of my buddies hiding in the closet while I got busy with a model would of seemed, like. . . a bit gay. . . not that there is anything wrong with it or anything. And, we didn't even have the internet or computers back them so we actually had to talk to girls instead of trying to friend them on facebook. And at 8, I was just playing Pop Warner football and collecting baseball cards; not emailing the hotties like you were.

If you want to know why I post, look no further than the kid that threw himself off the bridge after being filmed, or the Duke girl that thought it would be funny to rank her partners for the past 4 years and embarrass at least 13 college athletes in front of the entire world. See, in Tucker's world, secretly taping other people having sex is a funny prank, exposing private sex lives is funny. . . never mind that the people will grow up, get married and have kids some day. And hey, if some kid has thin skin and kills himself over it, tough crap, it was still an epic prank. The high that Tucker gets from looking like the man for 2 minutes, driving those empty feelings away, and entertaining little boys like you on the crapper; is far more important than the real people who get hurt along the way. And crap, disabled people who are already stuck with the crutch of being a dwarf, should understand that they only exist to be a prop in a Tucker joke. Hate to get preachy on you Jr., but my guess is that those Rutgers kids who taped that "fag" wish that they had been a little more nerdly in their approach to their peers. But grab Tucker's new book, I'm sure its full of those great kind of stories where Tucker picks on fat chicks, midgets, and girls who were in diapers in 1994 when he was supposed to graduate High School. Making fun of NERDs, fags, midgets and fat chicks is just too much fun.

But you keep high fiving that little inner faux internet frat boy persona. You are king of this thread

"I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" . . . will be bigger than ANYONE (except me) is predicting."
TM

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[–] diablo4ever99 12 years ago

Reading back on this thread is actually hilarious.

I thought you guys would have been able to see the sarcasm after the first two posts.

I'm running this monkey farm now and I wanna know what the *beep* you're doing with my time!

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[–] Marmitist 12 years ago

That was indeed a masterful trolling, and with copypasta no less... 10/10.

But still, Tucker Max is a liar and a douchebag extraordinaire.

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[–] JimmyZappa 12 years ago

Successful troll accomplished mission.

Stuff like this reminds me of "Movie Poop Shoot.com" from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

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[–] guitarblues 11 years ago

I caught it the first post man, and the thread it spawned is fantastic.

The Antoine Dodson 'run and tell that homeboy' reference actually made me laugh out loud.

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