"This is half rant, half cautionary tale to any poor sap that checks this boards."
If half of your post is a rant, and half is a cautionary tale; then what else is left? Does that mean that there is nothing else other than ranting and caution. I mean, literally you are saying: "Be careful of Tucker Max you f-face sap!!!!!." I think you are just really trying to say that Nils likes snacks.
"I caught this movie on TV awhile ago, watched a little bit of it, went "what the hell is this monstrosity of crap?", and turned it off. This is before I even knew who and what Tucker Max was. Then the following happened... "
That's a shame. Because you missed the real fun, the months of watching him declare that this movie would revolutionize comedy and propel him to be a huge success. Watching the epic failure in real time was incredibly satisfying. Read the Scriptreader Blog comments, if you want to get a taste of big people talking to a little boy and his friends. The TM is a Douchebag 10,000 comment thread is also priceless in parts.
"I googled Tucker Max and ended up at his infamous website... Now I really wish I hadn't read that stupid article in the first place."
We are working on that. Like the Spreading Santorum project, we are hoping that the first google search of Tucker Max will lead to articles explaining why it is synonymous with boastful failure; and douchebaggery. That is his legacy. He out Troy-Duffied, Troy Duffy.
"I wasn't even going to post anything on here until I just read one of his quotes that he heard from multiple people that they wouldn't be surprised if this screenplay was nominated for an Oscar. That officially got me; I'd had enough. I rolled my eyes at some of his other comments, laughed out loud at some of his unbelievably lofty and almost scary illusions of grandeur, groaned at his irritating belief that he's God's gift to the Universe (if there is a God, I'm sure He could have come up with someone A LOT better in SO MANY ways), but this was just officially too much. IN WHAT WORLD DOES HE THINK HE IS LIVING IN? Obviously, this did NOT happen, but I just want to know who on this EARTH could have possibly thought this script, which would have served better as toilet paper, was worthy of a nomination? Perhaps just another character than inhabits Mr. Max's head."
Yes, it was indeed priceless watching it in real time. I hope you read some of his fake emails he would post claiming that someone had sent him a message about how great IHTSBIH, the movie was and how it had changed their life in a profound way. The "yes, saar," email from the army cherry was the best. See, this was all proof that the haterz were missing the profound art. His audience in London was huge.
"I am also disgusted that he has any fans left as it is painfully obvious what lurks behind his facade: he is a loser who created this joke of a life to get a generation of college kids to look up to him. Why would anyone want to be like Tucker Max?"
Don't talk about Nils that way. He is struggling with a very serious weight problem.
"I just hope that you wake up before you find yourself in the very same shoes as the sad, sad man that is Tucker Max: alone with only your TV and computer as company, with stories that were mostly never true, having to stare at yourself in the mirror and realize that deep down you are still an insecure boy that no one truly wants anything to do with."
The real problem would not be having to be in Tucker's shoes. The real problem would be having to wear his gloves. His hands are so freakishly small that only a large dose of Thalidomide in infancy would really explain them. And having his ears would be a bit of a bummer as well. The haircut, is great. It's basically the same haircut Jerry O'Connell wore in "Stand by Me."
"Anyone who hasn't seen the movie, don't. It has all the problems pointed out- poor lighting, stiff and terribly unnatural dialogue, unfunny "zingers", horrible acting, etc. And to the people who still fawn over him, look up to him, aspire to be just like him, defend him to the death?! Just... stop. You don't want to be anything like him, you just haven't realized that yet. I guess you have to have your own path of discovery, your own point of startling realization... I just hope that you wake up before you find yourself in the very same shoes as the sad, sad man that is Tucker Max: alone with only your TV and computer as company, with stories that were mostly never true, having to stare at yourself in the mirror and realize that deep down you are still an insecure boy that no one truly wants anything to do with.'
You must be a fat disgusting man-hating lesbian. (Sorry, Bunny). Lot's of great girls love Tucker. His last girl friend landed Ian Ziering, an A-lister circa 1991. His other girlfriend, the Bunny, apparently suffered a complete psychiatric breakdown; and found solace in buckets of chicken. In addition to these winners, Tucker has landed a pathetic Penn State sophomore who basically described him as a lousy lay. He is the man. So, by logical conclusion, you must be a big fat lesbian. If you don't want a 36 year old manchild wearing stretch shorts and a grey t-shirt to share his art and philosophy with you, you must be a lesbian.
"Honestly, in spite of my angry post and my wtf? moments, I do feel a little sorry for the guy. His "fame" is gone, his dreams have been laughed off, and any chance he had at making it big has been squandered... and he only has himself to blame. Really, could you imagine any worse reality? "
Easy on the pity. Save that for Nils or Ryan Holiday. Picture the life of the Tucker uber-fan. The guy who believed that he has hitched his wagon to the great new star; and that puppy-kiss powered airships and crossbow themed bars were in your future, all paid for by Tucker's huge royalties from his revolutionary movie and its inevitable sequels. Or, is that what you are really trying to say. . . that Nils is fat?
"I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" . . . will be bigger than ANYONE (except me) is predicting."
TM
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little_miss_mo
13 years ago
You guys crack me up so much. I laughed harder at these responses than I did at anything Max wrote. I know the bar wasn't set very high, but I promise you exceeded it beyond compare.
I do wish I had read this stuff in real time. It was amusing enough now, even if at times I wanted to punch my laptop (thankfully I calmed myself down by realizing TM isn't worth destroying my personal property). Watching someone as repugnant as he is (I don't even really want to type his name anymore) who believes people were put on this earth to smell his farts and stomach his nonsensical insults, who wants women to fill out applications to date him and beg to do his laundry, who thinks that his trash is worthy of an Oscar, who honestly considers his writing to be classic literature, fail on such an intense, revealing level is highly satisfactory.
That is an insult of the highest order to any film that has been nominated for best screenplay/best film, any film that has won for those categories. His book is an insult to language; I honestly feel sorry for the trees and ink and time wasted to combine those fables into one package.
How'd you know that deep down I was a fat disgusting man-hating lesbian??? Shucks, I thought I hid it so well. Btw I read that story of the Penn sophomore. The whole time I read it I just kept asking "Why?" The O&A interview was a particular gem. It was as hard to watch for me as Schindler's List, just because it's painful to watch anyone be so utterly and irrevocably defeated. Then I read some of his quotes, some stories about him, etc. and I remember the video with fondness now.
At the end of the day, I just want to know why this was allowed to even exist. I get that some people initially thought his relative, tiny amount of success would translate into an equal amount of success on the big screen, but surely someone at SOME point had to open their eyes and realize they had a steaming pile of excrement on their hands here? Literally. This is an abortion that he CAN'T write off on his taxes.
For what it's worth, I'm 22 and I never ever heard of TM before. I asked around recently because I wanted to share my horror with other people and most of the people I asked hadn't heard of him. A few had but only knew of him in the vaguest sense. One friend (a guy) had read a story or two of his, looked at me with mingled confusion and surprise, and asked, "He's still around?" He had never been overly impressed. I told him no.
P.S. Have you guys read the Psychology Today article about TM? That's one of the first things I stumbled on about him. I was kind of impressed, though I didn't think anything he was saying was really revolutionary. Now I realize he's a master at one thing- presenting other people's ideas, beliefs, stories as his own. Throwing around the names of geniuses does not make him a genius, of that we're all deliciously aware. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beautiful-minds/201107/conversatio ns-creativity-tucker-max
P.P.S. Yeah, my entire post can basically be translated into "Nils is fat".
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little_miss_mo
13 years ago
I just opened the article again and looked at the comments out of curiosity. I see someone got to it already :)
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pmcdonnell-4
13 years ago
Tucker has always been lucky that he has swum in the nether-regions of d-list Internet personality. As the O&A interview demonstrated, any real scrutiny would have revealed him to be the damaged fraud he really is. If his movie or books ever really became hits beyond the college audience, then the questions would be far tougher, than " where's the tape and police report, Tucker. "
Like most sociopaths, Tucker can put on a good 20 minute persona, which is enough to pitch a book or project; survive a softball interview; or pick up a damaged girl. In fact, because he is unbridled by simple things like honesty, empathy, or guilt; he operates much better in that arena than a non sociopath. He is also good at a strange form of flattery for interviewers, it's like, if you think I'm cool and make me look cool, then you will be cool too. Again, 20 minutes of his book is entertaining, which is about the attention span of his audience.
Tuckers problem is the long game. After 20 minutes, the inconsistencies and improbabilities become more pronounced. And he is helpless against real verifiable data. The lack of reality becomes glaring. He can say he sold 5 million books, but box office mojo just reports the real number. There is no spin.
So, now his new psych today interview we meet the new mature well adjusted Tucker. Again it's brief and the interviewer makes no effort to confront him about the mountain of bs he shoveled during the movie project. He makes no reference to the obvious pathology that his behavior indicates: borderline, npd, antisocial pd. A real interview would be administering an mmpi and then discussing the findings.
I think what I am trying to say, and reading between the lines, is that Nils is no friend of buffets.
"I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" . . . will be bigger than ANYONE (except me) is predicting."
TM
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