MovieChat Forums > The Back-up Plan (2010) Discussion > Things I learned from watching 'The Back...

Things I learned from watching 'The Backup Plan'

posted 14 years ago by Starduster
24 replies | jump to latest

It seems that Nobody has started one of these posts for the backup plan so lets get one going:

THINGS I LEARNED FROM SEEING THE BACKUP PLAN

1. If you want to make friends with a dog that you dont know, walk up and sniff his butt.

2 If you want to offer him a "treat" try a urine soaked pregnancy test strip. He will "Thank" you for it later.

3 When considering childbirth, always consider using drugs, but kindly ask others that are present NOT to use drugs while you are birthing.

4 They will aparently consider artificial insemination for ANY dumb B!+c# who wants it........
5 But if you are a single guy who happens to go near a playground with your hands in your pockets, you are automatically a pervert and pedophile.

6 When playing in the sandbox, it is OK for your child to eat the sand, but he should bring back the turd he found in the sand; for proper identification.

7 Nursing a 3 year old child from your breast is OK if its a girl. If its a boy; then thats a different movie. "(Grownups)"

8 Single mothers should never join a support group and then consider the idea of finding an appropriate father for the child.

9 Single mothers in support groups are ALL airheads and the biggest airhead runs the support group.

10 If you cave in the front end of your car by hitting a tree, it is OK to drive the car home and worry about the damage later.

11 A male person that a woman dates but is not married to is called a "penis partner".

12 If you and a strange woman happen to enter the same cab at the same time. let her have the damb cab and save yourself a lot of future agrivation.

Now its YOUR turn....

[–] NeoDeMover 14 years ago

13 - You're not too smart to have spent $9 to see this movie to know that another J-Lo movie is baaaaaaaaaaaaad.

[–] Starduster 14 years ago

> 13 - You're not too smart to have spent $9 to see this movie to know that > another J-Lo movie is baaaaaaaaaaaaad.

I spent 1.50 to see it second run because a friend wanted to see it. Sometimes you make these "compromises". I wouldnt spend $9.00 to see a movie that I dont care about. Its a "chick flick" but many of the smarter "chicks" didnt think much of this movie either.

[–] speaker_mind 14 years ago

#14 have sex with anyone ,anwyhwere and anytime u meet them

[–] ichocolat 14 years ago

#15 : Pizza is fine for a candle light dinner.

---
Help Fight Global Warming !

[–] holly-rock 14 years ago

Absolutely! Pizza is fine for me anytime!

[–] OvertAgent 14 years ago

16. Women from a mother's group are never seen with their children

17. Single moms can leave their kids in the middle of the night to attend a home birth.

18. Women with 4 children have lots of spare time for the gym and farmer's markets and digging in dumpsters.

19. You can't tell from one viewing of the movie whether Mona is Zoe's sister or friend.

20. The biggest star in a movie can also be its absolute weakest feature, and J-Lo can suck the life out of every scene she's in. The male lead was milquetoast, and he still outshone J-Lo.

21. Tim Bosley is 82 is playing 93.

22. If you want to keep your foot in the door with the muffin bitch, just say the babies aren't yours.

[–] bcnguiri 14 years ago

...that Jennifer Lopez is extremely irritating in romantic comedies and she is never going to improve and her films are not even worth downloading illegally!

[–] droche-3 14 years ago

....that J-Lo's signature feature (her booty) has to be featured prominently in the plot, discussed as a gag, displayed in an "old pre-pregnancy" photo, and filmed in closeup. It has to be included so often that even die-hard fans will shout, Stop It!! in a crowded dollar bargain theater, the only place a J-Lo movie should be shown.

"When you throw dirt, you lose ground" --old proverb

[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Quentin36 13 years ago

13. When visiting a new friends house walk into the kitchen and start to stuff your face in a disgusting manner. It is very classy.

14. J lo has never seen a guy with his shirt off and it made her drive into a tree.

15. Same car that has parts dragging but is still able to drive home in.

16. People often bump into each other in New York because it isn't a very big city.

17. Throw away your GF's pillow that she loves to sleep with because you 'will be there' for her

18. Dumpsters are never emptied.

19. You run a farm but don't live there.

20. There is only one cab in New York. If you get in one and it isn't yours you can't get another one and have to take the subway.

21. You apparently don't need blankets or a quilt when you sleep

[–] hippiechick78-97 13 years ago

21. You apparently don't need blankets or a quilt when you sleep

That drove me crazy! And if you hadn't had already posted it that would have been mine! So.......

22. The pet store business is very lucrative....able to pay all that rent for a New York apartment that she lived in by herself...and and she still had an SUV.

It's not a party until your medic passes out on a water buffalo!

[–] Quentin36 13 years ago

thanks Hippiechick.

I agree with your apartment comment. These people always have great apartments despite their bad jobs

[–] simba122504 13 years ago

22. When you're pregnant you become obsessed with one pillow. You would even dumpster dive for it.
23. You could afford an Apartment like that and not be rich.

Giorgio Armani. He must be Creole.

[–] flmngogirl 13 years ago

24. Once you've purchased a body length pillow, you've reached your limit. If something happens to it you can't buy another one.

25. Home pregnancy tests can still function correctly in a dog's body.

25. Buying strollers means you are committed to a relationship.

[–] DanaShelbyChancey 13 years ago

24. Once you've purchased a body length pillow, you've reached your limit. If something happens to it you can't buy another one.

Yeah really! I could love some piece of fabric so much, I would go to a filthy germy dumpster and pull it out, then cuddle up to it all night, regardless of what sludge might be on it!

[–] 13 years ago

[deleted]

[–] DanaShelbyChancey 9 years ago

InTheaters! Fancy meeting you here!!!😂

[–] 9 years ago

[deleted]

[–] joaquinpaez 13 years ago

26. The most appropriate time to declare your love to a guy is when you are giving birth.

27. Apparently J-Lo is trying hard to be seen as a white woman now.

[–] TheGoofyCat 12 years ago

27 - when you're nearly 9 months pregnant it is ok to faint and fall right on your stomache and not go to the hospital and get checked out.

"Oh Bambi, I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy."

[–] beat 12 years ago

29. hot american people have sex including multiple orgasms, and will shine of sweat after - but they'll still have their clothes on.

30. apparently, the birth of a child is something really GROSS.

[–] buffy_danielle 12 years ago

31. Apparently, when you give birth at home, someone is waiting around with a pool strainer to collect your #2.

32. It's totally ok to violently throw a pregnant woman onto her bed in the name of coitus.

33. Woman will totally be impressed with a date that ends in ruining their new dress.

34. Animal lovers call their dogs "idiot" and then feed them bread.

35. J.Lo is believable as a higher up in the corporate world.

36. It's ok to text while you are walking down the aisle.

[–] WDformerWB 11 years ago

37. If you’re a woman with abundant natural beauty it makes sense to wear the most grotesquely obvious fake eyelashes ever created.

38. Just like with people, it’s funny when handicapped dogs tip over in their wheelchairs. It’s also hilarious, and humane, to pimp their ride with doodads that will make their only means of mobility distracting and irritating.

39. By the time you get around to having 3 kids, you don’t worry so much. So you let them put pretty much whatever they want in their mouths.

40. When you are part of a support group for single mothers, make sure that you interrupt someone else when she’s in the middle of sharing her difficulties. It will make your presence there very welcome.

41. Telling a cabbie to “feel free to run every red light” so you can get home to do the deed will be enough incentive for him to jeopardize his driving record and employment. Just be sure to tip him generously.

43. Random strangers you meet in a park are a good source to return to for continuing advice and support about parenting, because they have kids too -- kids they don’t stop from eating fistfuls of sand.

44. Having children because you’re worried you’ll “miss out” on the experience is sufficient reason to have them.

45. The best way to start a relationship with a man who seems to want to stay after you’ve told him you’re pregnant prior to your relationship ever starting, is to shut down a fight by saying “if you don’t like it, there’s the door”. He’ll back right down, since he has always been looking forward to meeting someone he’s attracted to and then finding out she’s been pregnant before they ever became a couple.

46. Lesbians who are about to have babies are wanna-be greasers with short black hair, tattoos, wear grey wife beater tees and other sleeveless greaser gear, and speak like they’re a Jet from West Side Story.

47. Friends don’t let pregnant friends dumpster dive.

48. Potentially ruining your grandma’s wedding to the 93 year old man she’s been with for over 20 years because you are so impatient you can’t wait a few minutes to call your boyfriend is a nice thing to do.

49. Old people, their incontinence, their walkers, their hip replacements, their inability to sing karaoke, are funny, and therefore need to be included to make sure any comedy succeeds at being funny.

50. After you've dropped out of night school and just opened up a specialty cheese shop, you can afford to buy your girlfriend what appears to be an engagement ring that might cost as much as a small house

This is one movie I will never forgive my best friend for begging me to watch with her. Ye Gods....

[–] 11 years ago

[deleted]