MovieChat Forums > The Mortician (2013) Discussion > Oh. My. God.

Oh. My. God.

posted 13 years ago by filmweasel1
8 replies | jump to latest

My mama taught me never to say anything bad about people but after tonight, I feel a warning is necessary. I attended the premiere at the Berlinale film Festival tonight and...wow. I see over 250 films a year, but I have to say, tonight shocked me.

Why? Because tonight’s screening of The Mortician was as bad as I have experienced in years. I can’t remember the last time I wanted to walk out of a film. But this one was so clichéd, so poorly written and acted, so overwhelmingly sentimental and jaw-droppingly dreadful that I honestly feel ripped off. And why, for god's sakes, is this in 3-D??? There is not action, no fx, nothing worth seeing in the 3rd dimensional. I just wish they could have made the script and the characters 3 dimensional!

I truly want my money back for this drivel. I know I cannot get those 2 hours of my life back, so $11,50 is the least one could do.

[–] egoangel18 13 years ago

Wow. There were no redeeming qualities? It sounded like a good movie. Thanks for the heads up.

i hope you choke on your bacardi & coke!
*Team Landa*

[–] Miz072 12 years ago

Most of your criticisms are valid but I didn't feel that it impacted the movie as much as you say it did. It was not a movie I would ever watch again, or even one I consider to be a good use of my time, but it wasn't garbage.

In my opinion the main undoing of the film was that there simply wasn't enough material to fit into a feature length movie. It's 86 and a half minutes long (81 minutes if you don't count the credits) after being dragged at a snail pace the entire way. You could have fit that entire story into a 1 hour TV special and I think it would have made a more entertaining and exciting movie.

[–] Funkdvoid 12 years ago

You might need to stick to action movies, if you can´t
handle a movie with a slower pace.
It won´t win any Oscars, but it was worth watching.
And the story might feel more personal to some than others, depending
on what you have gone through in life so far.

[–] justinlukeny81 12 years ago

So U relate to this story??? Have u been takin in by alotta creepy black guys with an odd interest in girly looking latino boys???

I like M.M. but this was a waste of time

[–] Hancockenstein 12 years ago

this would be awesome(but strange) if they just implanted Method Man's character Cheese from The Wire

[–] jsmith2375-1 12 years ago

I don't know what movie you saw, or how jacked up on mountain dew you were, but this was a damn fine movie. No its not a fast paced episode of CSI or a gory horror movie. This was a movie about redemption and forgiveness, told in a very deliberate and entertaining way. Please don't let one negative review sway your opinion in not seeing this movie, very worth watching.

[–] justinlukeny81 12 years ago

no its a bad movie.

I feel like the people defending these bad movies probably bought the film or paid to see it in a theater. I saw it for free and it wasn't even worth that.

[–] thivai-1 11 years ago

I saw it for free and expected crap, but I actually loved it! It was not what I expected, more a sinister drama with a lot of light at the end of the tunnel. I was very moved by the characters and was really happy for them in the end. It's a beautiful movie, but if you're not in the mood for a slow, beautiful, soulful piece, you will get bored or annoyed. It caught me at the right moment, it seems.