'Command Performance' review by MartialHorror
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COMMAND PERFORMANCE(2009)
(Directed by Dolph Lundgren)
"Dolph rocks! Pun intended and yes, this movie is stupid."- Signed by MartialHorror.
Plot: A drummer in a rock band has his concert interupted when terrorists take over. It’s time to kick ass and Rock N Roll to bring down these baddies.
Review:
Sometimes I find myself wondering why Dolph Lundgren never really took off as well as some of his contemporaries. Yes, I often think about useless stuff as that. He came out when Western action stars were at their peak. He wasn’t really a good actor, but he wasn’t any worse than the likes of Jean Claude Van Damme(at the time), and unlike guys such as Van Damme, Steven Seagal or Chuck Norris, Lundgren actually would play many different types of roles. Sometimes he’s be all dark and brooding, other times he would be lighthearted and funny. I suppose his biggest fault was that he tended to be paired with other big stars, often as the bad guy, so it became difficult to imagine him carrying a film on his own as the good guy. I had heard that he had done some decent work after going direct-to-DVD, so decided to give him a shot. I checked out “Command Performance”, one of his most recent works………Er, it wasn’t good, but it was……..weird.
The film begins with something I probably should’ve paid more attention too……Some dude kills his wife and himself in front of his son after being caught attempting to overthrow the Government or something like that. Cut to Joe(Dolph Lundgren) playing the drums in a rock band. He’s actually pretty good at it. It’s interesting when stars show their other real life talents in their movies(example, Steven Seagal speaks fluent Japanese). But what quickly begins as something harmless turns into self indulgence when the villain of the picture, Venus(Melissa Anne Smith) shows up. Okay, okay, she’s not the actual villain. She’s just a pop star who has the hots for Dolph, even though he looks pretty old and as badass as he looks, he’s no longer a very handsome man. Why do I think she’s the villain? Well, besides being an annoying character, the actresses acting skills are far more terrifying than anything the real villains can do: Including murder.
Dolph-Er, Joe, is part of this old school rock band who opens for Venus and her terrible acting abilities. Soon, terrorists attack the concert and kill a crapload of people. Oh yeah, I forgot that the concert is being attended by the Russian President himself(Hristo Shopov). Oh yeah, I also forgot to mention that this takes place in Russia…..Silly me. The President is one of those Presidents you see in low budget films and big budgeted Harrison Ford movies where he is likely to grab a gun and along with his guards, start shooting at you if you attack him or his family. He is also the reason why the terrorists are there. So Dolph-er, Joe, and some FSB Agent who is bound to get wounded or killed by the end of the movie have to rescue everyone while saying alive. In essence, it’s a rip-off of “Die Hard”.
The problem with “Command Performance” is that it’s not sure if it wants to take itself seriously and be a straight forward action flick, of if it wants to be a goofy, parody powered by the art of Rock N Roll. I was beginning to wonder if this was going to be like “Wild Zero”, where a bunch of rock gods take on hordes of zombies with the power of rock. Dolph-er, Joe, will say some lame-ass dialogue and every time he makes some Rock quip, I gagged. Dolph Lundgren just does not make a believable rock star in that fashion. When he says: “Dying is easy, Rock N Roll is hard”, I realized that this movie has reached a level of stupidity that you can’t even really call it stupid anymore. After all, no one acts like real human beings, they all look like exaggerated caricatures that borderline parody. But is it a parody? The director, Dolph himself, doesn’t seem to know himself.
Dolph Lundgren(Joe) generally does fine as the socially awkward badass. In fact, he might be somewhat exceptional at times. However, I thought he tried to act too cool as the rocker. Melissa Smith(Venus) should’ve gone topless, then I could forgive her terrible acting skills. She is very cute though. Hristo Shopov(Petrov) was pretty cool as the President, while Dave Legeno(Kazov) was intense as the villain. Overall, Smith aside, the acting was pretty decent for this kind of film.
But regardless, the film is fun in a train wreck kind of way. When I wasn’t laughing at it, I was admiring its brutal take-no-prisoners approach to the mayhem. I love that that Dolph, er, Joe kills his first two victims with musical instruments. They’re pretty awesome kills, but sadly, they don’t roll with it. If they only played up the silly factor by having Dolph literally kill with the power of Rock, I might’ve liked it. In general, there is lots of bloody action, you like the good guys and hate the bad guys….For a DTV action flick, it was pretty fun…..But only as a DTV action flick.
Violence: Rated R. Pretty hardcore at times.
Nudity: None….grudgingly.
Overall: If “Command Performance” played up the silly factor, it could’ve worked. If they toned down the silly factor, it could’ve worked. As it is, it doesn’t work…..But it still manages to be more worthwhile than most of Steven Seagal’s direct-to-dvd films……So all in all, it’s lucky that I’m easily entertained.
2/4 Stars
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