When you discover someone entered your house don’t call the police, go immediately to see who it is
When you’re fighting an intruder you really don’t have time to talk to your husband on the phone and ask for help, but you still have enough time to tell him you’ll call him later
High heel pointy shoes will hold you from falling even if you're completely horizontal and holding a wild kicking blond
What's your point. I will let my german shepard take care of the intruder!
''Don't worry,Be Happy''
I will let my german shepard take care of the intruder!
11. Cops drive by at the exact moment you look out the window
12. Woman steals your kid you find them on your house and you turn your back on them??
13. Idris Elba can make the name "Sharon" sound even more muffled when yelled than Ozzy Osbourne.
14. Stalking is funny/cute when a girl does it to a guy.
15. Beyoncé doesn't look good as a redhead.
16. Two-year-olds don't talk and live on formula alone.
17. Babysitters aren't too bright.
18. All the hell that Derek put the job through he's gonna wish he did bang her.
19. Sisters only exist when the plotline counts on them to exist.
20. If a stalker has threatened your family, it's always best to go to work instead of staying home and protecting them.
21. Kissing a toddler on the forehead means you harmed him.
22. He looks just like you, Derek.
23. All men need their prophylactics when they move out.
24. Temps can afford Christian Louboutin shoes.
You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same.
she was expecting her to be the temp.
when the intruder is a weakling whitey blondy.
how on earth did you notice her shoes!! you must be a woman.
i mostly will not be able to answer your reply, since marissa mayer hacked my email, no notification