novels for Nutshell Reviews are so boring + ridiculous!!!!

Why do ppl like The Sniper, Massie Twins, etc write boring n-o-v-e-l-s about movies and than lie & call it Nutshell Reviews when its anything but? Don't they realize they make the film sound so boring. I had no choice but to take a glance & of course lost interest in the film. Don't get me wrong some lengthy reviews are very informative and interesting b/c it's worthy reading but these stupid Nutshell Reviews sound more like ranting that only the writer understands in his own mind. Do ppl actually read those mile-long reviews?