Maybe she hated her in laws and wanted to see if his family was as lame as her husband's and hopefully just have some fun.
Then she should have told him that.
Why should she have to make the first step if she wasn't the one falling in love?
Because she knows she is married, but he does not. If she was single your devil's advocate argument would be stronger. Or if she had told him she was married early on & he still pursued her.
Selfish, Adulter? Yes! but I wouldn't call her horrible person for him not asking her more about her personal life when it was convenient for him and his emotions to try to pursue a serious relationship.
Correction, early on in the movie he does ask. She made it clear then that she doesn't like to talk about that (leaving him assuming she had a bad ex-boyfriend or bad divorce or bad parents, etc), so he was respecting her wishes until she was ready. That made it clearly her responsibility & her a horrible person.
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