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20 things I discovered while watching Kurbaan. SPOILERS

posted 14 years ago by Sherazade
12 replies | jump to latest

1. Apparently the NYPD are idiots (according to Bollywood directors anyway)

2. The FBI too (according to Bollywood directors anyway)

3. Suddenly, the NYPD has jurisdiction on Long Island and even further Upstate New York. WOW! news to me (since I know that Nassau County, Suffolk County, Essex county and so on all have their own separate police forces) Most of the movie takes place Upstate, the NYPD(governs only Manhattan, Brooklyn, Staten Island, Queens & the Bronx) and should not have been there.

4. People don't know how or when to dial 911

5. Trains can roar out of their stations even during an FBI investigation.

6. People on a train where gunshots have been fired (with the assailant walking through cars) DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PULL THE EMERGENCY BREAK.

7. People marry other people without checking their backgrounds.

8. Shoplifters can pay for the goods they stole and be sent on their merry way.

9. Vivek Oberoi is an idiot as so is the character he played.

10. A prolific journalist(Diya Mirza) would ignore a whistle-blower on a terrorist plot to catch the red-eye flight to God knows where.

11. Violence solves nothing.

12. Two wrongs never make a right.

13. A SWAT team would ignore a muslim woman disembarking a train even though they had been told that women were part of the bombers.

14. It is impossible for a Bollywood movie to be flawless from start to finish.

15. Everybody wants to be a hero.

16. Bollywood writers don't bother to do proper research.

17. Kareena Kapoor is a good actress she just likes to undermine herself.

18. New York is the target of all muslim extremist groups.

19. Muslim extremist groups(in Bollywood movies) might not know how to locate Washington D.C. on a map.

20. Ehsaan/Khalid is Kurbaan's attempt to explain why the US never caught Osama Bin Laden.

P eople for the
E thical
T reament of
A bh-Ash

[–] sdgreat 14 years ago

21. A class full of white students at NYU all speak fluent Hindi

22. Said class, even though NY is a mostly liberal state, will be full of people with conservative opinions on the war

23. Always check the messages on your cell phone before turning it off for a flight

24. when you're being chased by a group of terrorists/murderers, and you have a cell phone in your pocket, DON'T call the police while you're running and hiding, just wait to use the home phone.

25. It's important for Indians to live in a neighborhood full of Indians...no where else will do

26. Even when characters curse in English, the translation will still try to cover it up. (there was a part where someone said, "random check my a$$!" and it translated as "my foot!"

27. A terrorist will change his mind about everything as soon as you threaten to kill his wife.

28. When you get a lead on a terrorist case, don't tell the cops or the FBI, just infiltrate them yourself. When the time of the bombing comes, the FBI will totally understand.

29. Terrorists don't know how to use google

30. You can become a professor at a top university without any kind of degree-- you just need to be married to another professor, and have an interesting subject to teach.

31. the university will give you time off when you're in your first trimester of pregnancy

Life doesn't screw you by what path you choose but by what path you leave behind.

[–] Sherazade 14 years ago

LMAO @ #24 & #27

#28 made me want to tear out my hair, Vivek's character was so poorly written.

#25 and #30 just goes to show that Indian film makes do not do research, they just go with the sensibility that whatever works in India works internationally too.

P eople for the
E thical
T reament of
A bh-Ash

[–] sdgreat 14 years ago

I know...Vivek's character pretty much ruined the movie for me. I can suspend my disbelief for most of the other stuff, but I seriously wanted to go slap Riyaaz and tell him he was being a moron

32. Even when you have a good cast and a good director, none of it will mean anything if your screenplay is full of holes...

33. When disarming a bomb, always cut the wire that's NOT red

34. If you're a main character, don't worry about getting caught in a bomb blast- you'll be a bit shook up, and you might bleed a little, but you'll be fine.

35. Random checks at the airport aren't actually random (actually I knew that one before watching Kurbaan, unfortunately)

36. If you're a non-desi acting in a Bollywood film, chances are you're a terrible actor.

Life doesn't screw you by what path you choose but by what path you leave behind.

[–] happyphantom9 13 years ago

About 21, I just thought that they dubbed the American voices over in Hindi for the benefit of their Indian audience who didn't know enough English to follow...even though other Americans in the movie spoke English. In the classroom scene, from the sounds of the voices and the mouth movements, it definitely looked dubbed.

Unless you already knew this and were just making fun at the idea of American students just happening to be able to speak fluent Hindi :)

[–] mattkilleen65 14 years ago

##. The Philly skyline, 30th Street Station, The Spectrum, Lincoln Financial Field and the Broad Street Subway... are all located in New York City.

[–] jayesh-kavathe 14 years ago

#If you are an FBI official, you can survive a Bomb explosion at point blank range. Probably your Id card will absorb the impact!

[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] nita26390 14 years ago

OMG, you guys made me laugh so hard! The last 30 minutes of the movie:HILARIOUS!

[–] happyphantom9 13 years ago

LOL! #41 is SO true, I've seen this all the time where they have little kids in Bollywood movies that have been raised in the States or in England, they have THICK Indian accents!

[–] mekeItellu 13 years ago

To "Sherazade"

re:20. Ehsaan/Khalid is Kurbaan's attempt to explain why the US never caught Osama Bin Laden.

Well now you know, that is no longer true.

[–] Ann-MarieJordan 13 years ago

Dear Sherazade,

In reference to your statement #6..."People on a train where gunshots have been fired (with the assailant walking through cars) DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PULL THE EMERGENCY BREAK"...during the shooting...

First of all, the subway shooting scene was done in Philly...but signs applied to the inside subway walls were made to look like it was in New York...although, there were other notations on the walls referring to Philadelphia.

Of course the people on the train know how to pull the Emergency Break. But the fact of the matter is...the People were all Actors, and pulling the Emergency Break was not an option for the Actors to do. The Director told us to do what was seen and done in the film. Although, since we all were told to run to the door (I was already near the door), I did not want to get lost in the middle of the crowd, and not be seen when the movie came out. So I did a quick "Freeze Play", and starting yelling for everyone to "get down...get down" (A reference to your statement #15 "Everybody wants to be a hero")! Therefore which...I was shot by the camera. At least I did my part that made some sense of what I had to work with.

Yes, I was in this movie with many of my dear actor friends...but I never seen it.

[–] Shaggy99 12 years ago

42. When you witness domestic disturbance such as a wife being beat by her husband, never call the police.

43. A Bollywood film can start off making you think is't a sweet romantic comedy but quickly betray all that and the sweet man turns out to be a terrorist and nothing like the man we knew in the beginning.

Yes you are reading my signature.

20 things I discovered while watching Kurbaan. *SPOILERS*

20 things I discovered while watching Kurbaan. SPOILERS