MovieChat Forums > Beyond a Reasonable Doubt (2009) Discussion > 100 Things I Learned from Beyond a Reaso...

100 Things I Learned from Beyond a Reasonable Doubt

posted 14 years ago by JaxSnyder
27 replies | jump to latest

I'll start with a few:

1. digital forensics are not used to actually speaking to other vertebrates.

2. they also collect pictures of real dead people (there's also a chance that if you're a digital forensic, you've never seen pictures of REAL dead people)

3. health is the most important thing Michael Douglas has.

4. Miss Urlanger (the bank lady) has "a second cousin or whatever he is", who has a D in his name.

5. Peter Hyams thought it a good idea to constantly light people's faces in bright red/blue/a combination of colors. Very dramatic.

6. birds chirp when Jesse Metcalfe says "I love you". & crickets chirp when he has sex

7. JC was so hot, nobody wanted to *beep* him in prison

8. Joel Moore (CJ's friend) gets a chubby watching Michael Douglas.

...there's nothing to life but just the living of it. It Is What It Is and That's All It Is.

[–] Kienan 14 years ago

9. Your own police car is an AWESOME murder weapon.

10. Getting OUT of the aforementioned car to kill someone is so passe. Ambushes are also out of the question.

11. When someone tries to kill you with a car, just run away from them in a straight line for a while.

12. Servers, the internet, USB keys, harddrives, cell phones, MP3 players, and the like are no good when it comes to hiding data. DVDs are where it's at.

13. You should never carry said DVD around with you, in case it might actually prove useful.

14. Having a relationship with one of the only people who could put everything together is a great idea.

15. Framing yourself for murder to commit a murder is a great idea...right up there with disguising a robbery as a terrorist attack.

Oh, and almost forgot:

16. Agreeing to help a friend in a dangerous venture where your death would screw things up but drive the plot is always a good idea. Go for it, man! You're certainly not DOOMED from the very beginning of the movie.

[–] cookiela2001 14 years ago

17. If you're constantly staring into your rear view mirror while leading a high speed car chase, you might very well get into an accident.

18. Some drivers think that constantly staring into their rear view mirrors while leading a high speed car chase will make the person chasing them go away...or something.

19. If you are a police officer following a suspect...let them play a deadly game of cat-and-mouse with their next victim before jumping out of the shadows and shooting them.

20.) Men are such liars.

21.) Don't worry about how to access a high security computer in a police evidence room...a random phone call usually calls the clerk away at just the right moment.

22.) No one ever thinks it odd that a documentary filmmaker protects the identity of their film's subject...after the subject's dead.

23.) Boyfriends wake up when you don't want them to, even when you're really, really quiet.

24.) Ella likes Chinese.

[–] paceynj 14 years ago

"21.) Don't worry about how to access a high security computer in a police evidence room...a random phone call usually calls the clerk away at just the right moment. "

Umm...that wasnt a random phone call, that was the black lady she talked to on the bench that called and distracted the evidence room guy. They even show her hanging up the phone right after than scene....They planned that!

[–] cookiela2001 14 years ago

Thank you. I must have dozed off during that part, or been looking at my watch....or trimming my toenails. Most probably dozed off, though.

[–] isiscloud-1 14 years ago

<blockquote>11. When someone tries to kill you with a car, just run away from them in a straight line for a while. </blockquote>
11. a. And I must always wear heels, never carry a gun (even in LA, where I'm sure you can as an ADA), a purse, etc. while being potentially stalked

<blockquote>23.) Boyfriends wake up when you don't want them to, even when you're really, really quiet. </blockquote>
She wasn't that quiet. She called the police, put in the dvd, and she meant to wake him to get him to confess on the tape she had going.

<blockquote>Umm...that wasnt a random phone call, that was the black lady she talked to on the bench that called and distracted the evidence room guy. They even show her hanging up the phone right after than scene....They planned that!</blockquote>
a. Black women can distort their voices to sound like men.
b. Police stations are always empty even in the dead of night
c. You will always get done JUST in the nick of time

[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] torg3ir 14 years ago

Its a very common thing for jury's to laugh at the lawyers jokes in murder trials.

[–] ss124 14 years ago

56. I learned Shreveport, LA is up from Albany.

Actually I had always thought it was up from New Orleans.

57. I learned Shreveport is in Harrison County.

I was living under a misapprehension that Louisiana doesn't have counties. It has Parrishes. I always thought Shreveport was in Caddo Parrish.

[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] jackmronner 14 years ago

IT'S EERIE TO SEE YOUR OWN THOUGHTS ON SOMEONE ELSE'S PAGE. I JUST WATCHED THE DVD, SO I KNOW THAT YOUR POST PRE-DATED MY OWN SNIPING AT THE INANITY OF THE PLOT. OR DO I KNOW THAT??? P'RAPS YOU ARE ONE OF THE CYBER-GEEKS SO READILY AVAILABLE AND CHANGED THE TIME STAMP?

I FOUND THAT THE MOST BLATANT, OVERARCHING NON SEQUITUR WAS THIS: WHY WEREN'T ALL THE WITNESSES TO HIS VARIOUS PURCHASES, HIS OBSESSIVE TAPING, THE FLASHING OF THE NEWSPAPERS,HIS PURCHASE OF THE CAMERA, ETC., ALL BROUGHT UP AT HIS ORIGINAL TRIAL? THEY WERE INARGUABLY GERMANE TO CORROBORATION OF HIS EXCULPATORY TESTIMONY REGARDING HIS SCHEME, AS WELL AS SUGGESTIVE OF A COLLATERAL DEFENSE OF PROSECUTORIAL MISCONDUCT. DITTO THE FACT THAT HIS COHORT'S APARTMENT WAS COINCIDENTALLY RIFLED ON THE DAY OF HIS DEATH, LENDING CREDENCE TO HIS STORY ABOUT THE GUY THEY ALL SAW TEAR OUT OF THE COURTROOM TO PURPORTEDLY RETRIEVE THE GOODS.

ANOTHER BIG ONE WAS, DESPITE THE DA'S SUDDEN SUSPICION THAT SOMETHING WAS AMISS, HIS WILLINGNESS TO GO AHEAD AND PLANT THE EVIDENCE AND INTRODUCE IT IN THE CASE WAS CRAZY. HE HAD APPARENTLY DIVINED THE ESSENCE OF THE HUNK'S PLAN, WHICH OBVIOUSLY CENTERED ON FORCING THE DA TO PLANT EVIDENCE IN HIS CASE AND THEN HAVING SOME MEANS OF EXPOSING THE FRAUD ON THE COURT. IF YA DON'T PLANT IT, YOU MAY LOSE THE CASE BUT YOU AREN'T EXPOSED FOR THE SUBORNING BASTARD YOU ARE BECAUSE ALL HUNK WOULD HAVE WAS "I WAS WORKING ON A STORY, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT". NOT A HARD CHOICE. WERE THEY SUPPOSEDLY SO OVERWEANINGLY CONFIDENT THEY WOULD GET EVERY COPY ANAD MANAGE TO KILL THE COHORT (AGAIN, NICE CHOICE OF A CAR AS A MURDER WEAPON - I MEAN COPS NEVER HAVE TO FILE A REPORT ON A MANGLED CRUISER, RIGHT?)DFZ

I MUST CONFESS THAT, THOUGH I AGREE WITH YOUR COGENT SHREDDING OF THE WHOLE ROMANCE, I DID LIKE THE "SO YOU THOUGHT IT WAS OVER" DOUBLE TWIST AT THE END. DIDN'T SEE IT COMING (THO' I DID CALL "*beep* YOU" AT THE END).

REGARDING THE NEW AGENT: 1) OR A), IT COULDN'T HAVE TAKEN MORE THAN A WEEK TO SHOOT ALL HIS SCENES, AND 2B) IT WAS PROBABLY A FAVOR TO A PRIOR COLLABORATOR ("THE STAR CHAMBER" 1983). BUT HOW BIG A FAVOR COULD HE HAVE OWED HIM TO JUSTIFY APPEARING IN A STINKER LIKE THIS? DID THIS GO STRAIGHT TO DVD?

JACK

[–] Desertman84 13 years ago

25.) Marvin Hunter is willing to be your bookie aside from being a DA.

[–] oldmotem 13 years ago

26.) All digital cameras have their own "fingerprint" and can be detected quickly and easily by image processing computer PH.D. students at just the right moment.

27.) Having a digital imager (i.e., a digital photographer) handy would be too easy (they already know all cameras have different digital image processing algorithms - that's what makes each camera "marketable" in its own way).

28.) The technique of police planting of evidence (and fabricating of it) can more easily convict a person of a crime they did not commit.

29.) DNA evidence is already being widely misused to convict innocent people.

30.) Amber Tamblyn can give REALLY GOOD last lines. Kudos to Ms. Tamblyn.

31.) Use Miss, not Ms. when talking to a safety deposit clerk at the bank. Ms. sounds like bees.

[–] jabberttp 13 years ago

IT'S EERIE TO <<snipped>>

JACK

Wow, you were yelling so much in that last post, my ears hurt!

[–] jukaswo 13 years ago

^LOL

58? When "innocent" people are released from prison, the first thing they do is look up at the sky. (Actually, I learned this from many movies.)
59. Instant coffee tastes just as good as $3 "designer" coffee.
60. Dirty cops are the bestest at doing donuts in parking garages.
61. Speaking of... if you are a young woman who has discovered that your powerful boss is a criminal, do NOT, for Pete's sake, enter a parking garage alone late at light!
62. The Good Cop always shows up at just the right time.
63. The night before lawyers have their first trial, they sit in the courtroom just absorbing it all.
64. Having a baby outdoors in Buffalo, NY, in the winter-time is really not a good idea.
65. Evil black women have tattoos on their fingers and never remove their nail polish.
66. If you go adopt a dog with your same-sex friend, the person at the animal shelter will think you are gay lovers.
67. All it takes to get Amber Tamblyn horny is staring at her.
68. When addressing a jury in a murder case involving a black defendant, make extra eye contact with the one black juror.
69. Dogs are stupid for biting you before you're ready to have them bite you... when you're forcing them to bite you.

"All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine."
--Jeff Spicoli

[–] xEkute 13 years ago

69. Dogs are stupid for biting you before you're ready to have them bite you... when you're forcing them to bite you.

I think the dog they got from animal shelter never bit him. He was bit while originally committing the crime.

[–] al_llovet 13 years ago

70. Black people don't like Bruce Springsteen
71. If you want to tell your best friend your crazy plans, do it when he's gambling at the casino. He's risking his money right now, he will surely accept to risk his life too! So powerful!
72. You can win a Pullitzer by doing stupid things
73. American last-minute heros can fall for row 33 Saints tickets...
74. You can win a Pullitzer having lost the most important piece of evidence.
75. If you are a stupid director you can begin the movie with an apparent frightening scene that later reveals to be a blind coffee taste, and the viewers will be SO IMPRESSED!

[–] 13 years ago

[deleted]

[–] jukaswo 13 years ago

@xEkute:
He was in his apartment trying to get the dog to bite him, and then got angry at the dog when it bit him.

"Seems most IMDb users believe their own opinions are fact and all others' are wrong." ~Me

[–] exatera 13 years ago

The dog he got at the pound didn't bite him - that was only what he said to his friend. He was bitten at the murder scene.

[–] exatera 13 years ago

As a girl, you can be needy as f-k and keep calling the guy who apparently has no intention of calling you - that will get him to fall in love with you.

[–] lar-ruh 13 years ago

"57. I learned Shreveport is in Harrison County.

I was living under a misapprehension that Louisiana doesn't have counties. It has Parrishes. I always thought Shreveport was in Caddo Parrish."

Towards the beginning, when CJ talks to Emma outside the courthouse, the sign says it's Caddo Parrish. Where did it say Harrison County, I missed that?

and. . .

76. Absolutely no one in Shreveport, Louisiana has a Louisiana accent, apparently.

[–] WiiD_nugz420 13 years ago

it was on the jumpsuits the inmates were wearing...

77. if you have a nose ring and you sneeze, snot's going to get on it

78. if you go to the dog pound with your buddy, it is automatically assumed yall are gay

79. if you find yourself in the dead of winter in buffalo, wrap your baby in newspaper cause that'll do the trick

80. when you find yourself being pursued by a car in a parking garage, just find a concrete pole to hind behind for a few seconds before attempting to make your escape.

81. ending a shtty movie with a badass line gives it +2 in my book

well, you don't spell it son, you eat it

[–] narya77 12 years ago

82. The bank lady's cousin apparently had a sex change somewhere between the lady's first and second appearance in the movie; the cousin changes from a she to a he.

[–] dmabbitt-1 11 years ago

83. Apparently in Louisiana prisons there are no such things as visiting hours or designated visiting areas, visitors simply station themselves outside prisoners' holding cells and converse through the doors.

[–] RCeditor 9 years ago

Absolutely no one in Shreveport, Louisiana has a Louisiana accent, apparently.

89 ...except for Orlando Jones. That is, during the 2nd half of the movie.

90. When your friend needs a crucial piece of evidence during his day in court, you should keep the evidence far away from the courtroom instead of somewhere nearby-such as on your person.

THE RAP CRITIC:
http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/rap-critic

[–] MercurialAquarian 11 years ago

84. Needy and willing to throw her career away for a guy with whom she had a date and a half (the other half of the second date being the sex). Okay, it was Jesse Metcalf, I get it, but that doesn't speak too well to women breaking through the glass ceiling.

Objection, your Honor. You can't preface your second point with first of all.

[–] MercurialAquarian 11 years ago

85. District attorneys of major metropolitan areas prefer to argue their own cases.

86. Young, female assistant district attorneys have little to do except overtly research and investigate their brand new love interest's hair-brained schemes with more zeal than they would their first case.

87. District attorneys running for higher political office never worry about opposing political campaigns investigating their glowing, come from behind and then some trial record based mostly on circumstantial evidence.

88. Just because an up-and-coming cub reporter can whiff out and dream up a plot to oust a District attorney running for higher political office doesn't mean a well-funded and cutthroat opposing political operative team will.

Objection, your Honor. You can't preface your second point with first of all.