100 Things I Learned from Sharpe's Peril

1. Three years of white woman deprivation will turn a man into a mass murdering rapist bandit.
2. The best job is always to guard the harem; unless there is an imminent battle on the horizon.
3. Always leave protruding cobblestones on the side of your cobra pit. It taunts your victims into further despair.
4. Sabbath does not apply in India.
5. Upon facing a sword wielding opponent, immediately discard your firearm in the vicinity of your rape victim. This will demonstrate your superior manliness to the object of your amorous attention.
6. You can always count on the bald guy being the greedy villain.
7. Once you have found a love prospect in a far away land, abandon her to the nearest demonstrably incompetent and corrupt troupe of soldiers and arrange to meet her far in the future at an unspecified date. This will toughen her for the kind of marital life she can look forward to in your company.
8. Never trust the hearsay of a dying man.
9. Being the victim of an attempted rape was a capital offense in the British Raj. An "accident" with a household item was a common method of execution.
10. The best scouts always have time to sample the lasses at their assigned target. Therefore, you should always send out the worst of the lot under your command.
11. Without the dancing girls, music is just a bunch of blokes clanging their wares loudly for no good reason.