Haunted? Don't call a psychic!

Call a skeptic instead. S/he will provide a rational explanation for everything, which totally emasculates the demon or ghost, forcing it to flee forever. Just look at the Lutz house in Amityville. Demon free since 1977!

Works every time, totally reliable, and double your money back guaranteed! (They work for free anyway.)

I disagree with what you are saying, but I will fight to your death for your right to say it;-)