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What IS the worst Woody Allen movie (asks a fan)

posted 14 years ago by kipconlon-1
40 replies | jump to latest

I, like probably everyone who saw this movie, really like Woody Allen sometimes. This movie stank. C'mon, it did. That breaking the fourth wall thing is like something an inventive 6th grader would do. The british suitor of Evan Rachel Wood's character was so poorly sketched in, he was genuinely frightening, like the sociopathic tennis pro in Match Point. Were we supposed to be happy they wound up together? That was the most tacked on happy ending basically imaginable. The whole thing made "Hollywood Ending" seem like "Annie Hall" by comparison.

So was this his worst? "Alice" was really limp. "Anything Else" looked pretty ghastly. "Curse of the Jade Scorpion?" Your guess'd be better than mine. I remember liking "Small Town Crooks" until it seemed to go on for literally forever, and perhaps it did as I eventually clicked it off.

[–] projectcyclops 14 years ago

Well, I'm not in a position of having seen all of his films, but I have seen most of them. I'm also not in a position of disliking 'Whatever Works', I thought it was flawed, but charming and entertaining in it's own way.

But the 'worst' Allen films I've seen are, in order from least painful to most excruciating:

5. Scoop (Don't think I need to explain this choice, had thought maybe 'Alice' was worse, but re-watched it and changed my mind - Scoop is awful)

4. Small Time Crooks (unfunny, Allen's character spends the entire film complaining about things, only thing of note is Ullman who gave a good performance)

3. Hollywood Ending (2 hours of Woody acting blind and bumping into things, never goes beyond it's goofy premise, a lifeless performance by Téa Leoni)

2. Curse of the Jade Scorpion (the big mistake was Allen casting himself as the role called for a tough guy - also simply not funny)

1. Don't Drink the Water (a film I would rather injure myself than watch again, an absolute stinker - Allen's Worst)

His best films in my opinion? Here's a top 5 but it's prone to change:

1. Crimes and Misdemeanors
2. Manhattan
3. Purple Rose of Cairo
4. Hannah and Her Sisters
5. Sleeper

All classics!

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He left a note. He left a simple little note that said "I've gone out the window."

[–] Wuchakk 13 years ago

I love "Scoop." It's a fun, engaging & amusing mystery yarn.

I didn't like "Anything Else," though. I found it boring and the characters either uninteresting or unlikable. However, whatshername looked great prancing around the apartment in her panties.

[–] voided-1 13 years ago

I may be alone in loving "Anything Else". "Whatever Works" reminded me of it, but it's not quite as good. I also really liked "September".

My worst is "Cassandra's Dream", followed by "Alice".

"By being alive he is blocking his own way. From this, he derives the proof that he is alive."

[–] nimstic 11 years ago

I think Hollywood Ending and Curse of the Jade scorpion are not for everyone. I LOVED both of them, especially The Curse of... If you think Wood Allen was miscast in that movie (and it needed a tougher guy) I think you completely, absolutely missed the point of the movie. Its a hilarious movie with wonderful twists and excellent lines, Woody's non-sequitur classics.

[–] projectcyclops 11 years ago

I've mellowed a bit on most of these films now. I can watch and enjoy them all to a certain degree, except 'Don't Drink the Water' which I just can't stand.

Allen himself actually admits very openly that Jade Scorpion is his worst film, he even went as far as to say that he totally let the cast down and it 'just killed' him. He had wanted to cast Robert De Niro, which was why I made the 'tough guy' comment. I think in casting himself he changed the entire tone of the relationship between the main characters, and not necessarily for the better (it is more amusing to imagine Helen Hunt throwing those insults at De Niro than at Allen - which got tired fast).

I do like Hollywood Ending quite a bit now though.

---

He left a note. He left a simple little note that said "I've gone out the window."

[–] nimstic 11 years ago

well, even though I enjoy his movies and humour - Allen as a person is a quite a complex one to read and understand. I enjoyed Jade Scorpion and how his character was portrayed. That's all I know.

I never watched 'Don't drink the water' - With my recent favourite being Midnight in Paris, I have never been quite disappointed by an Allen movie so far; and I don't want to break that trend; so i want to steer clear of that maybe.

[–] patrick_bateman_90029 14 years ago

I thought his 1987 film September was completely insufferable.

I have a message for Germany...

[–] elsbet5 13 years ago

I am a big Woody Allen fan, but yes September was terrible and so was this movie. However, I think it would have been a whole different experience as a live stage show.

[–] Piperson 13 years ago

My friends are always trying to get me to watch "Curb your Enthusiasm" and I have tried to watch several different episodes and haven't enjoyed it. This has to do with living in a family full of misanthropic curmudgeons and that includes me.

I just watch "Whatever Works" and I really liked it. I thought Larry David was great playing the neurotic curmudgeon role that Woody used to play. I have always liked Woody but I thought DAvid was even better suited to the role.

In looking over the Woody Allen movies , I realized I am not familiar with some of the most-hated ones. But in my opinion, "Interiors" is the worst. It is jammed with artistic pretensions. Woody Allen is not Ingmar Bergman and this is the movie where we find that out.

"Broadway Danny Rose" is a really good and sometimes overlooked Woody Allen movie.

[–] lewiskendell 14 years ago

I've only seen seven Allen movies, but Scoop was by far the worst of the bunch.

Movies I've seen in 2010: http://www.flixster.com/movie-list/2010-movies-6

[–] kipconlon-1 14 years ago

oh that's a good call. That was putrid.

[–] lewiskendell 14 years ago

I'm really glad it wasn't the first Allen movie I saw, or I probably would never have never bothered with another. That's the only one I've seen so far that I outright disliked, thankfully.

Movies I've seen in 2010: http://www.flixster.com/movie-list/2010-movies-6

[–] 14 years ago

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[–] jnbesch 13 years ago

I vote for "Celebrity." There were moments I enjoyed but I remember that ten minutes after leaving the theatre I had forgotten most of it. When I saw it again several years later on TV I disliked it less, but when I think of it in relation to his other films, it seems to be the one I care for the least. None of his movies is really bad, but several others are weak by comparison with his really good work: Scoop, September, Anything Else (although I really liked Woody the actor in that one), Melinda and Melinda, A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy... I would put Whatever Works a few steps above these, but it's still one of his minor works.

[–] marianeta 14 years ago

Curse of the Jade Scorpion.

2nd worst: Whatever Works

[–] OneFilmLover 14 years ago

I've seen all his films and I would say without question his worst is ANYTHING ELSE.

That film infuriated me to no ends with bad casting, awful characters, bland reusing of stock Woody characters, and was an overall insufferable viewing. Hated it.

I wouldn't say "Whatever Works" is his worst, but it is sunk by a smug storyline & characters that renders the message of the film "Whatever works to make you happy" pointless since it seems "Whatever Works" doesn't extend to a simple lifestyle outside of the Manhattan one.

There. It's on the Internet. Thus it's official

[–] fidelio1980 14 years ago

Yeah, Anything Else comes across as though Allen said to himself, "I should remake Annie Hall, except without the humor or the originality, and with the most unlikeable characters possible."

[–] dyahrmarkt 14 years ago

Every one of Woody's films has SOMETHING to hold my attention, and I've not ever discarded any film he's done as having no redeeming aspects (and I've seen 'em all)....however, there is a handful of films you can probably skip:

- September
- Alice

Certainly these 4 in a row from 2000-2003 made me think he was losing the muse for good:
- Small Time Crooks
- The Curse of the Jade Scorpion
- Hollywood Ending
- Anything Else

- Cassandra's Dream (*I was completely with this, riveted, and then came the ending. Without doubt this moment was Woody's biggest failure in tone I've ever seen).

“No man can be a genius in slapshoes and a flat hat.” - Buster Keaton

[–] Krustallos 14 years ago

Fortunately for me I've never seen any of the bad Allen films people are listing.

But I'd add to the list of his best "Stardust Memories" (my own personal favourite) and Annie Hall.

I think "Whatever Works" is the funniest Allen film I've seen for years and it's perhaps a little dispiriting to learn that it's an old script from the 1970's. (The 4th wall stuff was a staple of his work back then and no-one complained about it).

Yes, it's Manhattan-centric but I think that's the serious point - big cosmopolitan cities can allow people to reinvent themselves, leave their prejudices behind and be free and true to themselves. A really positive message in my view.

I used to want to change the world. Now I just want to leave the room with a little dignity.

[–] chisibo 13 years ago

It's a toss up between this Whatever Works and Cassandra's Crossing.

I only really woke up during this film when he introduced the New York vibe and brought in scenes in appartment/resturant settings. But unlike say - Manhatten Murder Mystery which is my all time Woody Allen favourite none of the dialogue was clever or witty, no pay off for jokes. The acting was stilted,which usually works. This time it just looked hammy. But then Cassandra's Crossing was really hammy too and it didn't even have the NY vibe.

[–] nin_anis 13 years ago

You mean "Cassandra's Dream" ... :)

[–] Standard_Leisure 13 years ago

I haven't hated anything from Woody but I would say Bullets Over Broadway and Everyone Says I Love You were his worst. I'd also thrown in What's Up, Tiger Lily? if I'm including everything.

[–] jrhpax 12 years ago

Having seen nearly all of his movies, I would give my vote to "Shadows and Fog." I also disliked "Stardust Memories" a lot.

[–] 12 years ago

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