Because the reality of the situation is that not all brothers share a strong enough relationship to be each other's best man. It is a slap in the face, but that's the way life is. Some relationships are strong some aren't.
bingo
i can honestly say that i'm more or less in that situation, and i have 2 brothers...
my older brother is a HUGE dick... always has been... a spoiled brat who isn't tolerant of anyone else or their concerns... he's only concerned whit that which directly affects him... he was a dousche to my girlfriend a few times, is incredibly rude and tactless... doesn't wash the sweatshirt he sleeps in so the room he sleeps in smells like stale clothes... he is known for spending an entire day sitting in 1 chair in the living room watching tv in the clothes he woke up in without ever changing or showering..... sometimes an entire weekend..... and he farts... ALL THE TIME....
(yes, we both live at home and unfortunately share a room, albeit pretty much two rooms without a separating wall... he moved back in when his fiance dumped him... i'm making a career change and need to save some $$)
my younger brother is normal... pretty cool actually... respectful, intelligent, definitely not a dousche at all...
but then my best friend - who i've known for considerably less time than my brothers - and i have a much better relationship than i do with either of my brothers..... we were college roommates, both on the same wavelength, engineering/business majors, amature aspiring writers, etc... over the years i spent in college and the 2 i stayed in philadelphia afterwards we built up a very strong friendship and, at that time, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that i'd pick him over both my brothers as my best man because (well my one brother's a dick, so we all know why i wouldn't pick him) my brothers and i aren't as close as i would like my best man to be...
sure, my older brother would be vastly pissed off that i chose a friend over a brother to be my best man... but i don't care bc i wouldn't pick him anyway...
and yeah probably my younger bro would not be too keen on it... but then i'm more or less against picking family for certain things for the sole reason that they're family...... if they're not close enough, then they don't qualify....
take my sister and my only female cousin on my dad's side... my dad has 1 sibling, a brother, and he has 3 kids, 1 girl 2 boys... we NEVER do anything together...... they never come to our family parties, and they never invite us to theirs... we only see each other at my grandparents' birthdays... needless to say we're not even remotely close
my female cousin is getting married next year... and decided to pick 3 of her best friends as bridesmaids....... and not her only girl cousin
so what?... that's what i said
but noooooooo..... my mom took it as such a HUGE AFFRONT that my cousin did not pick my sister because they're cousins, they're family, and my sister's the only girl cousin, and that's the right thing to do.
bullsh!t
especially when my sister, when she gets married in like 8 yrs or so, already admits she would not pick my cousin to be a bridesmaid...
talk about hypocrisy
but my cousin did nothing wrong - despite what my mom thinks - because she's simply not close with us... and who would want someone in their wedding party that they're not at all close with........ just bc they're family?
i wouldn't...
you have to be close to me, important to me, to stand up on the altar with me
i don't care if you're my brother or not... or if you're my only male cousin... if we're not close, then you're sitting in a pew with everyone else...
Your art is the prettiest art of all the art.
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mfoley84
14 years ago
I understand why this question would be asked. My brother and I are the same thing. We love each other, and hang out when I visit he and our folks, but we're definitely polar opposites in terms of personality. I have more of an engaging, worry-wart personality, and he has more of a stoic, keeps to himself but not introverted personality, and over the years we have fought alot because of this---but not much if not at all anymore.
Needless to say, we love each other no doubt, but we're not best friends. We're just brothers. This is common.
It does suck, but that's life.....
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14 years ago
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irishpisano
14 years ago
there is no law stating that brothers should be your best friends
especially if you have vastly divergent personalities
my older brother is a big fan of pro sports, classic rock, drinking, yelling, cursing, farting, blaring his electric guitar at 8 at night for a full hour, being intolerant of others, crudely commenting on women, being lazy, etc...
i, on the other hand, have a small interest in sports that is limited to being a yankees fan... i don't care about the shmets, football, basketball, or hockey... i'm not into drinking for entertainment's sake, or crudely commenting on women... i don't barhop... and i'd prefer to kick back and read a good book, or watch a film rather than listen to loud-ass music...
if he were not my brother, we would never travel in the same social circles
so explain why he should be my best friend?
especially when you consider that he was a bit of a bully in our childhood, and he and i never did anything together from day one...
Your art is the prettiest art of all the art.
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go_leafs_go1
13 years ago
Still, it's not like the brothers in this movie had a bad relationship, or anything close to what some of the posters above describe as crappy family relationships. His brother helped him out with his friend-search, they seemed like they were on good terms.
So they weren't best friends or inseparable. So they had different interests or lifestyles. Big deal. They got along just fine. I can understand him wanting to find a friend, but to go through all that trouble when you have a brother already to take that position, he's easily the best man around.
I liked the movie, but this really bugged me. Maybe because everyone in my family is close to each other...
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dirtbunny199
13 years ago
Not everyone is close to their siblings & expecting someone to automatically be their sibling's best man or maid of honor is ludicrous.
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korndogg983
14 years ago
I totally agree with you irishpisano. My brother and I used to have what I thought was a pretty good relationship. Yes we did fight like brothers do but we seemed to always work it out. However, over the course of the last year our relationship has completely dissolved for many of the same reasons yours has. Your older brother and mine have very similar issues. We have our own rooms in the house we live in, but there's a very thin wall dividing them, so I can hear everything that goes on in his room. He stays up nights and sleeps during the day, so I can barely sleep at night when he plays his music on his computer or watches TV or plays video games with loud volume, refusing to turn it down. It doesn't seem to bother my mom or my sister because it's not on the other side of their walls and they are deeper sleepers than I am. I can be woken up by the sound of a bug buzzing.
At the end of the day, my choice for a best man whenever I get married will be a no brainer when I choose my best friend from college over him. In fact, I doubt he will even be in my wedding party as I have a few other friends I would rank over him.
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