Ideal cast since, if they're going to wreck a classic, they might as...
...well go all the way.
Jake - Robert Pattinson
Joey - Shia La Beouf
Vickie - Megan Fox
Sugar Ray - Corbin Bleu
Salvy - Kevin Costner
Directed by Andy Fickman
Knowing today's sh-tty market, the film will break every box office record currently held.
"Don't cry, it is to be. In time, I'll take away your miseries and make 'em mine...D'Evils."