Disapointed

It saddens me greatly that typically only the abused "get" this film. Many others rush to critique it for its brutality, invalidating us all by calling it stereotypical and unrealistic.

I understand the film's subject may not explore the original poster's perspective of one particular abusive relationship. However one should not assume all domestic abuse cases present identically. Opinions that the first abuse scene "doesn't seem likely" miss the authenticity and depth of exploration Mehta truly gave the subject. For those who don't believe abuse at times can start this nonchalantly, yes -- a resounding YES -- it can and does happen this way. And the film does not stop there. In point of fact, it goes beyond what some see as unlikely to a much harder truth to accept: how domestic violence thrives with systemic / social conspiracy.

Claiming the movie "boil[ed] down into the stereotypical 'he hits her'" fails to recognize the subtle relationship nuances depicted -- not just for the husband but for everyone. Each character's varying degree of complicity in the abuse and his/her personal struggle with it is demonstrated beautifully. On one extreme, the mother-in-law's powerful jealousy is juxtaposed against helpless chattel-like Chand, fabulously challenging our need to blame traditional gender roles. On the other end of the spectrum a curt exchange at work shows how indifferently Chand's employer tosses aside her rights by giving her earnings to her husband. And somewhere in the middle, in the conflict of the youngest children, in the outrage of the co-worker, is a call to action for all. Yet there are those who dismiss it without pity or shame.

The level of isolation some victims face is so staggering that society is, just as depicted, but a mere transition between scenes of fear, abuse, drudgery, false hope and abject despair. There are countless Chands for whom this is truly, bone-chillingly authentic. Showing more of Brampton, or any venue for that matter, would have detracted from the protagonist's perspective and the realism of her stark isolation forcing a retreat to imagination. Ultimately it was insanity, manifest as the Cobra, that forced her to go against what everyone told her to accept as normal. Here indeed is the film's true departure from reality; for many can attest that such insanity as self-preservation and the audacity of hope rarely goes unpunished by the abuser and conspirators. Instead, miraculously, Chand is permitted to find her freedom. However I can see the reason for and forgive the departure from reality here. It serves to inspire victims to have faith and fight for their survival, no matter what the apparent risks or costs, since few others will.

It is with both outrage and defeat that I write this in hope that some will come to believe in this film, this plight, this stain on society, but knowing most will not. I am saddened by what this teaches me about our world. A thing so heinous can become so mundane as to be callously dismissed by those who do not wish to face it.