100 Things I learned from Thankskilling
1. Her legs are harder to close than the Jon Benet Ramsey case.
2. A turkey can fool a man's own daughter if he is wearing his face.
3. If it's Thanksgiving break, randomly rip your shirt off.
4. If your best friend is killed by a turkey, sing a song about it.
5. Right before you divorce your husband, put sh*t in his coffee.
6. Dog piss will bring a killer turkey back to life.
http://www.youtube.com/user/pumpkinman4ever?feature=mhum
7. Extra small condoms come in gravy flavor
8. Cooked radioactive turkey legs are the same size as KFC chicken drumsticks
9. Wanda Lust has nice tits
10. Nerds come in handy if the only book with information on killing evil turkeys is written in math equations
11. Stupid slutty girls have doggy style sex fully clothed
12. If your dad has a ton of old books, one of them must be a book on how to kill an evil turkey.
13. If you are a nerd in college, you can decode any ancient text with in minutes.
14. All the really popular jocks in school carry a football when meeting up with friends.
14. The same joke can be used twice in the same movie, and still be funny.
15. Fat people can swallow a full size turkey with a shotgun.
16. Killer turkeys make the best mix salads.
17. The feathers of a turkey have enough strength to snap a girls neck.
18. While burning a turkey alive, eat a piece of chicken.
19. If you smell a sequel, scream BIIIIIIIAAAAATCH.
20. If your son asks you how you are, fart and walk away.
21. When your parents die, cry about mom's no more pumpkin pie.
22. If you're a fat guy, you can have your guts blown out from the inside and still remain standing for a few minutes.
23. Most garage libraries have cases of Finest Call mixers laying around in them.
24. If you are a nerd, your fat buddy will lead you to heaven when you die.
25. Its not creepy to exclaim, "I'm going to have sex with one of you" in a jeep. Even if two of them are guys.
26. Turkey experts are called Turkeyologists.
27. It's Thanksgiving, not Titsgiving.